No I do not wish to back anything up to the cloud.

Everything is just fine where it is.

Offline.

Contained.

Out of reach of your sticky electric fingers.
Leave me alone.

The book gets what the book wants,

Until the second draft.

Dah-Dum, Dah-Dum.

Happy birthday, Jaws!

People say we should thank Spielberg for improving upon the ending,

I say we should thank him for cutting the nonsensical, stupid side plot about Ellen Brody and Hooper.

After finishing that chapter, I closed the book and my eyes and tried to forget what I'd just read.

It was so stupid, and I didn't feel bad in the least when Hooper was eaten by that shark.

If anything, I wished Ellen had been there to be eaten with him.

What were you thinking, Peter?

There, I fixed it.

There is really no way that anything that comes after that won't offend someone.

Some things never change.

People complain when the gameplay or graphics don't match the ad, but things like that have been going on since forever. Take Defender for the Atari 2600.

Here's what the cartridge looked like:

Here's what the actual game looked like (you are the triangle):

It's called imagination, people. Use it. 

 

I should stop thinking about this, but still...how does it work?

Whistling is weird.

I don't think about the notes I'm trying to hit.

I just think the song and make the song and my mouth seems to just know how to do it.

Sure, sometimes the notes aren't quite right, or a little wheezy, but the song is there.

There's no humming.

There's no singing.

I just think the song and I whistle the song.

And the song is real.

I'm sure there's a scientific explanation.

But it's also magic.

You mean it doesn't?

Because ridiculing people and calling them names is sure to get them to change their minds and join your side.

If you don't care, just say "That's nice," and move on.

If someone lets it slip that they've written or are writing a book,

Or if they've decided to tell you that they've written or are writing a book,

Or you find out that they've written or are writing a book,

And you ask them what it's about,

If it's not your cup of tea,

It's not your job to make them feel bad.

It's not your job to tell them that you met someone who wrote a book like that once,

And that you thought that person was kind of sad,

Even if you don't say it in those words,

But give the impression that you thought that person was a loser.

It's not your job to make this new person feel like they're a loser too.

If you don't care about the story, or the genre, at least consider the time, effort, and dedication it took to write that story,

And keep your other comments and thoughts to yourself,

Especially if they didn't intend to tell you specifically,

If you just happened to be on the fringes of a conversation,

Or butted in.

There are enough people out there breaking others down.

You don't need to be one of them,

And give someone the mental equivalent of a condescending pat on the head,

Because there are probably things you like to do that would make others do the exact same thing to you.

Ah, nature. So elegant and refined.

 The life of a waterhole begins when an elephant scratches its rear on an abandoned termite mound.

Shouldn't the title of the book be printed larger than the author's name?

Shouldn't the title be more important than the author's name?

Isn't the title how I'm supposed to know the book, and find the book?

Does this mean I'm supposed to refer to it by the author's name and not the title?

How am I supposed to shelve the book?

By name?

By title?

People are complicated,

And want to be seen, accepted, and understood as being complicated,

while expecting everyone else to fit neatly into little uncomplicated boxes.

I've almost finished it,

And just realized I'd had the books out of order on the shelf,

So I actually should be reading the other one.

Oh well.

Nothing to be done about it now.

And the book has pretty much made sense.

And it had been some time since I reached the end of the already published books in the series and bought these two,

So I figured most of the questions I had were due to that.

And when I'd reached the end of those books, it had been a definite end of that arc,

So it didn't seem that confusing to suddenly be in the middle of something else in the next book.

I just thought that was how the next arc was going to begin,

And it's not like other books in the series hadn't started in the middle of things.

But I guess this time was different.

So we'll see if the questions I had get answered when I read the previous book,

After I finish this one.

Or if those questions were always going to be there,

Because it had been some time.

I was not ready for that death.

Shame on you, book. 

First drafts aren't about being pretty.

They're about getting the words out.

And then rereading those words in future revisions to find a character said the same thing twice in the space of a few paragraphs.

Pretty is for later.

Pretty is forged in drafts two through eight, or nine.

And then you give it to someone.

And they read it.

And you read it.

And go through more drafts.

And then maybe it ends up pretty.

And maybe it doesn't.

But it will be a story.

Hopefully coherent.

Be careful, Ortrud,

 Your Knusperhexe is showing.

Of course Ortrud had nefarious plans for Elsa.

 In another life she'd tried to turn Hansel and Gretel into gingerbread.

(Ortrud, not Elsa, just to be clear.)

It's fAIke

 Look at their hands.

The shark cage

Wasn't shark proof.

(Sorry, Hooper.)

The price goes up if it's still on fire or smoking.

 Every time a news broadcast features a reporter using a burned home as a backdrop, the owner should be paid.

This meeting could have been an email.

That opera could have been a play.

(Both would have been better for it.)

But where's the light coming from?

 The same place as the music.