It's an important question.

With Owen and Beru gone, who farmed the moisture?
Did anyone farm the moisture?
How many people were affected by the moisture not being farmed?
How many people were depending on that moisture?

Chewie really did deserve a medal.

Han couldn't have shot at those Tie Fighters without Chewie piloting the Falcon.
Without Chewie, Luke would probably be dead, and the rebels killed.
Wedge probably would have survived, though.

Think what you will about the people destroying things they'd already bought,

The real people being manipulated are those buying things because of what happened.
Because odds are, a lot of them wouldn't have if it hadn't.
So go ahead, think you're being righteous, and sticking it to people,
The fact is, your spiteful buying is playing right into the hands of the company,
And making them money,
Because I find it hard to believe that somewhere, in some conference room, or office, or agency,
That that wasn't part of the plan from the beginning.

(Call me jaded.  I'm waiting to be proven wrong.)

A watched pot never boils.

Unless that pot is cooking potatoes,

And the milk and butter and water are starting to boil,

And you're washing your hands because you touched raw chicken,

And you're watching the steam billowing out of the pot,

And you know that at any moment that milk and water and butter are really going to boil,

And rise up,

And try to escape the pot,

So you wash faster,

Watching the steam,

Hoping not to see the milk.

They're just misunderstood is all.

If you're ever intimidated by reading epics and whatnot, just remember these things:

In The Illiad, Achilles was chased across the battlefield by an angry river because he clogged it up with dead people and wouldn't stop when the river asked him to.

(They really should have included that in Troy.)

The Argonautica refers to Amycus, the Bebrycian king as "the most obnoxious man alive."

(There are also numerous times in that story where the narrator goes off on tangents and then corrects himself.)

Tonight on The Great British Baking Show

There will be blood.
And pudding.

Wasn't that the plot of the movie?

The Brady Bunch house is for sale.
People are worried it will be bought by a developer and torn down.

(Is there a talent contest going on somewhere nearby?)
(I know a killer act.)

If you can afford that, you can afford a box of Ritz.

There was a guy eating spray cheese straight out of the can by the pool.

No crackers.

Just the can.

(It gives me a stomach ache just thinking about it.)

How the Hunger Games really ended.

And then Katniss and President Snow stopped all the feuding and the fighting and had a nice, tall cool glass of OJ.

Things you learn at estate sales.

A lot of people collected shells.
Or just accumulated them over time.
I guess I can't talk.
Because I do have some shells.
Though mostly I have rocks.
And not even valuable rocks.
Just rocks I've picked up on my travels.
Or that I thought looked neat.
Like the one with the heart on it.
And the one that looks like an elephant.
Or that I think looks like an elephant.
Opinions vary.

Soak it up.

Every time I see someone lying out in the sun, I think, "They don't work outside."

If they did, they wouldn't be outside.

Because they've been outside.

And it's hot.

And uncomfortable.

And hot.

And don't think I ever will.

I've never forgiven J.K. Rowling for fixing Hermione's teeth with magic.

(I don't think she realizes what a horrible message that sends.)

Small doses.

There are a great many characters in books or movies or whatnot that people say should have their own.  I don't think these people have necessarily thought this all the way through.  What if the reason the character is loved so much is because they're only present for a short time?  What if, given a full length book, movie, or whatever, it becomes clear that they're not the best character after all?  That they're gimmicky, or not that good of a person, or a jerk.  True, every time they appear in the book, movie, or whatever, they risk taking over, but given the spotlight, the veneer might come off.  Plus, if the character isn't exactly how people have built them up in their minds, they'll hate them, or say that whoever made the book, movie, whatever screwed up.

Because a lot of the time they're not.

I'm sick of all of the movies that show the gods sitting around calmly and regally.
Read any little bit of mythology and you'll likely find the opposite.
They're petty.
They whine.
They fight.
They punish mortals for things that aren't the mortal's fault.
(Someone else said she's prettier, or more skilled.)
They punish mortals because they didn't offer enough, or the right things.
(Or because they built a wall on the beach without asking.)
Those are the real gods.
Not the serene, level-headed guys and gals sitting around having tea.
(Okay, so I don't think I've ever seen them having tea, but still.)
Honestly, the more I read, the more the old Hercules and Xena shows seem much more realistic.

Who says video games aren't good for you?

Nintendo borrowed a tune from Madama Butterfly for Super Dodge Ball.

Now that would put a chip on your shoulder.

Wicket Solo makes far more sense than Ben ever will.

I saw the movie.

It was fine.
It wasn't the best.
It wasn't the worst.
It was your typical origin story.

Safety first.

I can easily see how someone could slice their finger or hand on a mandolin.
I, however, did not.
Because I used the hand grip thing.
Which they never seem to give to the morning show people.
Maybe they do and they refuse.
They shouldn't.
It's handy.

Seriously.

If we can't laugh at ourselves, what's the point?

Has that man ever read a history book?

One of the commentators for the opening ceremonies quoted Otto von Bismarck.
I just...
I don't know what to say.
I don't think he knew what the quote was really about.
Idiot.

Can you really?

Can you still call it a true story if you take liberties to make it a more acceptable, exciting movie?

I really, really want it to happen, but know it won't.

The thing I really want to happen in the next Star Wars movie is annoying force ghost Luke.
You have no idea how much I want to see that.
I want Kylo to wake up and see Luke.
I want Kylo to be brushing his teeth or his hair and see Luke in the mirror.
And have Luke make comments about how he's not brushing properly or that he should get a haircut.
I want Kylo to go to his TIE fighter and find Luke already inside.
I want Kylo to be flying said TIE fighter and have Luke make some comment about how he didn't need to use his targeting computer when he destroyed the Death Star that one time.
I want Luke to tell Kylo to call his mom, she worries.
I want Luke to spout all sorts of things that sound wise and mysterious but don't actually make any sense.
I want Luke to make up Jedi wisdom.
I want Luke to second guess Kylo's every move.
I want only Kylo to be able to see Luke and I want Luke to mess with him when he's on the bridge of a ship.
I want Luke to address Kylo's anger issues after he throws another hissy fit and destroys something.
I want Luke to sing a Jawa folksong.
I want Luke to reminisce about things that happened in previous movies.
I want to hear about Dagobah and Hoth and moisture farming.
I want so many things that I know will not happen but would be great if they did.

I hope Vader's been keeping up with his capework.

I have to say, the last song I expected to hear on the World DanceSport GrandSlam Standard Series promo was a jazzed up version of The Imperial March.

Maybe if they'd spent more time sealing up the plot holes and less trying to force the humor they might have had something.

So I saw Star Wars: The Last Jedi.

My first thought: they're trying awfully hard to be funny.  Awfully, painfully, hard, and some of the jokes were too modern, too now.  They didn't feel natural, or that they fit with the world.  (I guess that's to be expected.  It is Disney after all, and Elsa's dress did not belong in her world.  It belonged in a nightclub, or the ladies lounge on MadTV.)

My second thought: that's not how the force works.  That's really not how the force works.  Why are you doing that?  That. Is. Not. How. The. Force. Works.

And the third: Jacky Fisher would be rolling in his grave over that joke of a ship given the name dreadnought.  Honestly, someone needed to do a little WWI British naval history research.  And what was up with the star destroyers just floating there while the big ship was being attacked?  And why didn't a swarm of TIE fighters come out of the big ship to protect it?

And that was only the beginning.  Now on to the good, the bad, and the whatever.
(Please excuse the incoherence and listiness of this.  It's just the way it's going to be.):

-Everything you've just said is wrong.  Love that line.

-Rey "feeling" the force.  :)

-If you're on the run with a finite number of ships, escape pods, etc., you will know how many you have and where they are at all times.  You will not allow one to just zoom away.

-Super Leia.  That is all.

-The admiral's evening gown.  Come on, she couldn't even run in that thing.  Sure, it's great for standing round, looking statuesque, but she could have been conquered by stairs or a ladder.  Put her in something like Mon Mothma had worn.  That at least looked like it was capable of movement and you could have hidden a blaster in it.

-Poe, Poe, Poe.  There's a fine line between hotshot devil-may-care pilot and idiot.  He not only crossed that line, he crossed it so many times he broke it in half.

-Rose and Finn's Unnecessary Adventure could have been shortened.  It really could have.

-Snoke was a disappointment.  Truthfully, I wanted him to turn out to be two feet tall considering how large his communication projections always were.  That didn't happen, and I'm willing to forgive that.  I'm not willing to forgive the fact that he was given so little backstory that his death amounted to a big pile of nothing.  Would it have killed them to give viewers some sense of who he was and answer some questions?  Where did he originally come from?  What happened to his face?  How did he catch Kylo Ren?  What is he doing being the supereme leader anyway?  I mean, the emperor in the originally trilogy felt like a solid character even before the prequels.  Then again, maybe it was because Darth Vader was so imposing that you figured someone pretty strong had to be holding his leash.  Kylo, on the other hand, seemed like he could be controlled by having his video games taken away.  I guess I just wanted something more for a guy who looked like he'd been hit in the face with a flaming baseball bat.  (I think I heard something about an official guide or book that actually tells of Snoke's past, but if a movie requires supplemental reading material, the movie failed.)

-The new Crimson Guard (or whatever they're calling themselves now) were nowhere near as impressive as the old one.  Maybe it's the fact that they looked like they were wearing bowls on their heads or had been in the middle of welding something when the enemy arrived.  (Yeah, I know that's not really what I was supposed to think, because it was pretty clear what they were referencing.)  Now I'll admit the old guard didn't do much but follow the emperor around and look menacing, and I still haven't forgiven Lucas for what happened in the prequels, but they just felt dangerous and gave one the feeling that if they ever did something it was going to be cool.  (They were hard to beat in the video game, too, even if their attack did look like they were mopping the floor.)

-Captain Phasma.  Oh, Captain Phasma.  Your creation had been heralded.  "Look!  She's a woman!  A woman in command!  She's got nifty armor and everything!"  They sure wasted her, didn't they?

-Does Kylo Ren (I will never call him Ben because that name makes absolutely no sense.  Han gave Obi-Wan a ride once, complained about it, and called him a fossil.  Leia only knew about him from stories told to her by her adopted called parents.  That's like naming someone after the Subway sandwich artist who once made you the perfect sub.  Frankly, Vader played a bigger role than anyone in getting those crazy kids together, so they should have named their son Vader, or Dar, or Vade, or Nik, or Ken, or anything that doesn't remind me of an orphan singing about tomorrow.  But anyway...) Does Kylo Ren get his pay docked each time he has a tantrum and wrecks something?  (I'm still convinced that there's a ship out there only capable of turning left because of him.  It's hazard lights are probably stuck on, too.)  Frankly, it would have served him right to get trapped in that elevator.  On the plus side, he finally got rid of the helmet so he sounds a little less like Bane.

-Speaking of Mr. Ren, what was up with that Harry Potter/Voldemort mental connection he had with Rey?  And what was up with Snoke being able to use the force through a communication hologram?  If they were trying to say he was so powerful he could use the force from afar, they messed up when they killed him because he couldn't see through a lie.  (Or are we supposed to think that Mr. Ren is that strong?  Sorry, not buying it.)  Anyway, I guess old Kylo is the Supreme Leader now.  I really hope I'm not supposed to be rooting for his redemption because at the moment I'd rather the whiny emo brat take a blaster to the head.

-There were many times I wondered if the people who made this movie had ever actually seen the previous films. I mean, having that little walker make its way through the debris of the exploding ship?  Did they not see Return of the Jedi?  Did they not watch those same walkers trip and fall over logs?  Those things are not meant to traverse debris.

-Then there were the coincidences.  Oh, the coincidences, like how that one ship just happened to not be destroyed on the exploding ship.  Basically, by the end of the movie, I had to use the old joke from The Simpsons where if you notice something weird or something that doesn't make sense continuity-wise, a wizard did it.

-I now want to see a lightsaber duel that consists of the combatants aggressively turning off each other's lightsabers over and over and over again.  I really do.

-So Luke's new planet had two suns.  Is it the other side of Tattoine?  Did he just come from the sand half?  Have I been lied to all this time?

-Do you think you got him?  Funny.  Though I can't say I'm a big fan of the new AT-AT design.  They look mean and more ape than elephant.  (And how the heck did Finn drag Rose back without being seen or blasted away?  Oh, right, wizard.)

-Hearing Luke say that even if Kylo kills him he'll still be around makes me want him to just be there as a really annoying force ghost.  Kylo gets up in the morning, Luke is there.  Kylo is brushing his teeth, Luke is in the mirror.  He's just always there, chatting and giving advice and making comments and second guessing his nephew's decisions.  Heck, he's a Skywalker, they excel at annoyance.

-Which leads me back to the big duel at the end.  Was I the only one who thought, "Well, I guess he had time for a shave, a haircut, and an application of Just For Jedi (only your closest apprentices/padawans will notice)."  He also looked like he was wearing the Jedi version of sweatpants and a sweatshirt, but then I don't know much about fashion.

-When Yoda appeared, I half expected him to say, "Fine your father is.  Misses you he does.  Call enough you do not."

-Don't lick the mineral planet.  Just take the guide's word for it that it's salt.  (Sorry.  Just remembering a tour I took once.)

Congratulations, you made it to the end.  (I hope someone did.)  Now, after reading this, you probably think that I didn't like the movie.  I actually did.  It was fun.  It was a diversion.  It was...fine.  Not great, but watchable.  It felt like the draft of a story that could have been good but ended up being merely passable.  All in all, the movie before was better.  Hopefully the movie after will be, too.