Stupid old man does stupid old thing,

And now I sort of feel sorry for him.

I did not expect that.
(I'm sure it will pass.)

He's cruising down denial.

Because it's always someone else's fault.
Always.

Turkeys.

Far enough away to not be too detailed.
Close enough to not be a single color.

Because it's Christmas, and this is fun.

We must be nearing the end of this tale.

People are starting to leave.
(And I don't think they're all trying to beat the traffic :).)

So let me get this straight,

It's everyone's fault but yours?
My dear man, you are delusional.
Very, very delusional.
And that is why I love you.
And hate you.
(We have a very complicated relationship, you and I.)

He's a fool,

And he deserves everything he's going to get.
Because he's about to do something stupid.
And I can't wait.

Take that, NaNoWriMo.

I beat you.
But I'm not going to stop writing.
Because I still have a ways to go before I reach the end.
I just wanted you to know that you'd been beaten.
Because you have.
By me.

That was a pleasant surprise.

Despite going on only 2.5 hours of sleep, that scene I wrote wasn't complete rubbish.
In fact, it was actually pretty good and only needed a few fixes this morning.
Apparently it was ready to be written.
And might have been the only thing keeping me awake.
Really.
It's weird being dead tired and then starting to write and not being tired at all.
At least until you stop.
Then you're tired again.
Like I said, weird.

Better than it sounds.

There is no way to say what this scene is about without someone giving me a weird look, so here goes:
The Gods go shopping.

Yeah.
You read that right.
The Gods go shopping.

Stop looking at me like that.
It's integral to the plot.
Really, it is.

(And it's not like it's a case of "We sent Thor to the mini-mart and he got confused.")
(They know exactly what they're doing.)

Skyfall

See it.

(But don't mess with James Bond's car.)
(He really won't like it.)

I'd say it's about time for her to come back.

She's only been missing since page three of the first file.
Page ninety of the fourth seems about right for her return.

(But it isn't as though I'd lost her.  I've known exactly where she was this entire time.)

The day was saved,

And everyone earned a much needed rest.
(Except for a certain someone who had to write an essay about why it's a bad idea to want to be a paperweight.)

Save the Earth,

Play baseball with a mystical object.

Yup, sounds about right.

Fortune cookies

Specific enough to give you hope.
Vague enough not to tell you when.

Maybe this way it will actually happen.

My goal is to be done by the end of the year.
This means that I have two months.
Two months to get through the rest of the days.
Two months to stage everything.
Two months to solve all of the problems.
At least the problems that are going to be solved.
Two months.
It seems like a long time.
And then it doesn't.
But I'm still going to do it.
In two months I'm going to be done.
Or darn close to it.
No.
I'm going to be done.
I hope.

Maybe that's why the other three were captured.

Remember folks, if you're going to take on the Evil Dynasty, don't forget to pack your toothbrush.
(And someone willing to drag you around the Nether Realm when you inevitably start to give up.)

(And a personal flotation device or snorkel because if you don't save yourself, no one will.)

I've probably already watched this more times than I should have.

 But I still think they should play this version at the store instead.

And lo,

It came to pass that the people ventured back to the store to return or exchange their shirts, as they were now forced to pin their hopes upon the Lions, for the Wings had yet to take flight.

But I still wouldn't watch them willingly.

The Twilight movies work a lot better when you think of them as comedies, or maybe it was just that I came in at the right time near the end of the second one.  I mean, I guess I was supposed to think that those vampire-like beings who aren't really vampires but are actually more like venomous disco balls were scary and that the scene was tense and I was supposed to be worried for our heroes safety, but really, of the big three, two of them looked very tired, and the third, well, he was far too busy chewing on the scenery and being all bug-eyed to be anything but hilarious.  (I could also have easily imagined him holding a frilly parasol, but if you don't know where that joke comes from, you probably don't find it nearly as funny as I do.)  Then again, it could have been that after working for eight and a half hours, and getting home somewhere around midnight, that I was just plain exhausted.  But man, did I need a laugh, and for some ungodly reason, that movie stepped up to the plate to provide it.  Well, at least for the several minutes that I was able to watch it before turning to something else because really, I didn't care, and once the crazy ones left the scene it was just Dead Cedric and the Drippy Girl talking to Big Shirtless Ron, so there was no real reason to stay, and besides, I think there was something happening on the Food Network.

Just a few questions:

1.) Does Frankenstorm refer to the storm or the creator of the storm?
2.) Concerning the name of the storm, shouldn't it actually be a collection of the different parts of other storms that have been combined to form a single storm?
3.) If it weren't going to be affecting New York, would the morning news shows have spent all morning broadcasting about it?

Well that took a long time.

Eight hours of painting needles.
Eight hours of nothing but green.
Eight hours and the pine tree is finally finished.

(Except for the decorations.)

I like him, indeed I do.

We may never see that character again, but he clearly makes a mean cup of coffee.

I'd love to watch the debate.

But there's a world to save, and the Dynasty won't defeat itself, so I really shouldn't.
But if I didn't have to do that, or any number of things that I could think of right now, I certainly would, because who doesn't love watching two grown men act like they're still in Junior High?

But that's not what it looks like.

When the news anchor says that the rules for the debate are "like fifty pages long," and then waves a stack of paper through the air, it would really help if the stack actually looked like it was fifty pages long, or even twenty-five if it was double sided.  This one didn't.  It looked like it was maybe ten at the most.

Hey there, Warlord!

Nothing strikes fear into the heart of an enemy like ending a stirring speech with "So, so there!"

(It's almost as good as showing your loyalty to a missing teammate by asking "Can't we go on without him?")

I know that I said this last time.

But this will be the last file.
It will.
Surely this story doesn't have another 216 pages left to it.
Right?
Right?

I don't know whether to run for my life or try not to blink.

Tonight at work, I discovered that sometime during my days off, they scattered a bunch of Christmas trees around the store.  It made me feel like I was in an episode of Doctor Who because every time I turned around, I seemed to find another one.  It was almost like they were following me. I wonder if that's the Angel's new plan.  Clearly, they aren't lonely any more.

(Yes, I know that there actually were killer Christmas trees in an episode, but these, the way they seemed to always pop up out of nowhere, felt a lot more like Angels.  Now, if they'd been spinning, that would have been another matter entirely...)

Well that could have been awkward.

After all, he's married,
And she's spoken for.

(And we really don't want to get the other guy involved.)
(He would not take it well.)
(Not at all.)

Pardon the recent silence.

For I have been abroad in The Land of Stairs.
(Also known as Italy.)

Don't make him smile.

He can't smile.
At least not to him.
And not in public.
And not to anyone else.
Well, almost anyone else.

Sounds yummy...and deadly.

Eggs
Stir
Mix
Bake

Do you not see the problem, ma'am?

"They're closed today.  I can respect that.  It shows an appreciation for their employees."
If you really thought that, you wouldn't have been shopping today.
That's all I'm saying.
I will say no more.
(Other than I miss not dreading holidays.)

I'm supposed to be afraid of them, aren't I?

But that one Dalek said Predator in such a cute way.
Oh, I'm so conflicted.
(And don't even get me started on Mr. Eggs.)

Coming soon...

But wait, there's more.  There were also the previews, well, one in particular, even if it was sort of confusing at first.

Seeing it, my first thought was, "Really, they're making an Aquaman movie?"
My second was, "Oh wait, it's Superman."

Then came the other questions.  When did Superman get a job on a crab boat?  Frankly, the more important question is, did the other crew members know what he could do?  Really, if I was on one of those boats and found out that someone had superpowers, I'd expect them to really pull their weight.  Heck, given the right powers, and considering that this is Superman, he could probably handle the boat all by himself.  He'd use the x-ray vision to find the crabs, the super strength to throw and retrieve the pots, and have that boat filled in no time, meaning either more money or more free time.  Actually, if he didn't say anything and I only found out after it was all over, I think I'd be pretty darn mad.

But enough about the boat.  My other question was: when did Superman get rocket boots?  Why would Superman even need rocket boots?  I know, I know, it was supposed to be about how fast he's flying, breaking the sound barrier, and whatnot, but really, that air pocket or whatever it was kind of made it look like he was wearing flameless rocket boots, which would actually be pretty nifty.

So many questions for such a short little preview.  Oh well, I guess I'll just have to wait until the movie comes out to see if any of them are answered.  They probably won't be, but I can dream, can't I?

I liked it, I really did. I just have a few questions.

I saw The Dark Night Rises the Saturday after it opened, and the only reason this hasn't been posted sooner is that it's just been kicking around and I never finished it because other things became more important than a movie review, but now it's time to do it or let it die, and apparently I don't want it to die.  Anyway, I saw it that Saturday, and in case you were wondering, no, the tragedy did not color my viewing.  I was never afraid for my life and was only as conscious of the exits as I always was.  After all, going at 10:30 in the morning, how many bad things could happen?  Anyway, enough of that.  It was a sad thing to happen and that's that.  Now onto the movie.  As I said, I liked it, but I don't know that I loved it, part of the problem being that I think that it had become so built up by buzz that nothing I saw could have met my expectations.  Still, I had a good time and it will be joining the other DVDs on the shelf when it finally comes out.  However, as much as I liked it, I had a few issues with it, and all of the people who loved it, think it's the greatest thing since sliced bread, and think it was perfect can move on to the next post because I'm going to talk about those issues, including the thing that I know I wasn't supposed to laugh at but did.

Are they gone?  Good.
(Isn't it nice that I seem to have created a whole great mass of invisible people who actually read this blog?  I do.  :))

First off, I thought that the movie started slow and had the whole feeling of there's a fireworks factory off in the distance but we're going to do a lot of other things instead and we might get there, but we might not, so deal with it, we've got backstory to deal with and you're going to sit there and take it.  Granted, when the movie finally found its feet, it took off running, though I still think there were far too many "As you know, Bob" moments.  What are these moments, you ask?  Well, they're basically when one character explains something to another that that other character really, really should have already known.  I mean, if I lived in Gotham, I think I would actually know things about the city, and if I were in charge of some project or company or something like that, I would like to think that I would have taken an active part and actually learned about them, not just sort of shrugged and said, "Whatever.  Just don't let something bad happen to it in the future," and walked away to do whatever it was I needed or wanted to do.

Then there was that little bit of repetition from the first movie.  Okay, maybe I'm the only one who noticed it, or maybe I just started getting nitpicky once I really started to think about it, but that whole "there are no cops" thing, didn't we sort of do that in the first movie when everyone got stuck in The Narrows, or wherever, with the fear gas?  Isn't that sort of the same thing as all of the cops being stuck in the sewer?  Isn't it?  I think it is, but I could be wrong.  I could also be right.

And now we come to Bane.  Oh, Bane.  Bane, Bane, Bane, Bane, Bane.  I really felt sorry for the guy by the end.  He had such promise, he did such great and terrible things, and then, so close to the end,  with what I recall to be a single sentence, he was marginalized and turned from a criminal genius to a mere hired goon.  In that moment, I really felt sorry for him because he was essentially sacrificed in order for the big reveal of the so-called true mastermind.  I don't know why, but that really bugged me, and continues to bug me.  Poor, poor Bane, and then what happened?  He died.  And then Talia died.  And that was it.  He was sacrificed for a few minutes of audience shock, which, when I saw it, was actually more a "Huh," than an "Oh my!"  Way to go, movie.  Way to go.

Not that Bane was perfect.  I had my issues with him as well, especially since they seemed to sort of ignore the thing that I'd always thought had, well, sort of made him Bane.  Yes, folks, I'm bringing up the Venom.  (And I've decided to capitalize it for no reason.)  So what happened to the Venom?  Wasn't that a sort of important part of the character that made him who he was?  I know, I know, the movies were going for more realism than the comics, and every time I've brought this issue up, that's basically the explanation that I get.  In other words, they couldn't make it work realistically, so they didn't use it.  Excuse me, but I think that's a lie.  I think that the Venom could have been worked in there somehow without falling into the campy, campy movie arena.  If all else failed, we could have had a short explanation about historical groups known to have done similar things because we all know how much the movie liked to talk to itself.  (The one group coming to mind are the Viking berserkers, but I know that there are others, too.)  Of course, there could also be the argument that the Venom was there and that they explained it in that throw away comment about how the mask helps him and all that, but that was either just before or after the big reveal, so who knows if anyone was actually paying attention.  So yeah, maybe you think you addressed the whole Venom issue, but I don't.  The mask doesn't cut it, sir.  Sorry, but it doesn't.  It just doesn't.

And now we come to the other part of the mask: the voice.  Okay, so with that, all I want to know is why did he have to sound like Boris Karloff?  Honestly, there were moments in the movie where I just wanted to shake my head and say, "Bane, dear, we are not in an old horror movie and you are not wearing a cape or playing some sort of evil doctor.  Let's pull back a little, okay?  Yes, I know that you're excited, but you're just getting this speech pattern that, well, sort of takes away from your evilness, and I know how important that is to you."  Then there's my other question surrounding the voice:  are we supposed to believe he doesn't have a tongue?  I'm only asking because I can get pretty close to mimicking the voice just by holding my tongue back when I talk, and given what happened to his origin story, I don't think that it would be too great of stretch to make that believable.  (Where was one of those "As you know, Bob" moments when I really needed it?)

And finally, because I know you've all been waiting for it, if you've made it this far without flying into a blinding rage and cursing me to whatever place you want to curse me, there was one moment that kind of made me laugh, and it happened right near the end, right when I was supposed to be in fear for the lives of the great Batman and everyone in Gotham.  Yes, folks, I'm talking about the bomb.  Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not a crime fighter or superhero in any capacity, but if it was me, and I found myself towing a soon to detonate, unstable nuclear device with my flying craft, I think I'd be a little more careful and not drag it down the street, or knock it into a traffic light.  In fact, I'd probably try to get it as high into the sky as I could, as fast as I could, rather than giving it a tour of the town.  Now, I get it, it was heavy and hard to tow and he was bleeding and whatnot, but still, one would think that he'd be able to keep it off of the ground, or at least keep it from hitting things because frankly, the stop light sort of looked intentional, but it still made me laugh.

Now, I don't want you think that I hated the movie.  I didn't.  I liked it.  I think it continued on in the spirit of what had happened in the last two, though maybe not quite as well, and with a much more sequelly feeling, but there were a lot of plot strings to tie together for everything to be in a fairly neat package at the end with a stamp that said "It's over.  The end.  Go, live your lives and be free...until the DVD release.  Muwahahahahahaha!"  Regardless of what you may think, there were parts that I liked.  I liked the court if only because it reminded me of "The Trial," which happens to be one of my favorite episodes of Batman: The Animated Series, and I was sort of sad not to see old hanging judge Joker, but I understand why and wouldn't have really expected it even if things hadn't turned out the way they had.  I also liked the overall feel of the movie, playing with the realism and making it seem plausible that some guy could go running around a city dressed as a bat, fighting crime, and, well, I'll stop right there before I stop believing.

I also liked Catwoman.  I really did.  I certainly liked her a heck of a lot better than the Michelle Pfeiffer one.  I know, I know.  Blasphemy.  Oh well.  Really, I didn't like that whole movie.  Everyone just seemed to be so bogged down in the "Woe is me.  I have problems.  Boo hoo," mindset that after a while it got pretty darn annoying.  Anyway, back to this movie.  I liked her.  I did.  I'm still having a hard time trying to figure out how you accomplish anything in those heels, and how you don't just end up with trash from the street gumming up the blades, but that's my problem, not yours.  She actually advanced the plot, seemed like she actually had skills to do things like commit crimes, and best of all didn't seem to be there only to play the part of Batman's on-again, off-again girlfriend, which was nice to see.

So there you have it.  That's what I thought.  You may agree.  You may not.  These are but the thoughts of a single individual and may or may not reflect your own.  (And if you've actually made it this far, I thank you for your time.)

This has been kind of a rough day for you, hasn't it?

You find out that you've lost your only prisoner,
And then you have to find some new guards.
(Though truthfully, that last one is sort of your fault.)

Insanity, thy name is pine tree.

The goods news is, I know how I'm going to paint it.
The bad news is, I know how I'm going to paint it.
It's going to take hours.
At least two.
And I wouldn't be surprised if it ended up being three.
Or four.
Then again, it might also be five.

And that's why I won't be buying one.

Last night I saw a picture frame that said "The Girl's."

The Girl's what?

If I owned one, it would drive me crazy.

I almost wanted to damage them all out, just to raise the I.Q. of the store.

I was all set to use "inappropriate use of an apostrophe" or "improper grammar" as the reason.

I'm still tempted.

And sad because I know there are a lot of people who won't see anything wrong with them.

I could be wrong.

There's a lot of ground to be covered in those last 90 pages.
(However, depending on how it goes, I could still be right.)

That's not how you say that...

Apparently, the hardest word to say right now is Maleficent.
And my favorite mispronunciation so far has been Mal Efficient.
I think it sounds like some sort of evil robot.
Or a goofy robot sidekick.
Or a slow moving, accident prone robot with dreams of world domination, or mastery of stairs, whenever he gets there, and whenever he makes up his mind.

The e is silent, and invisible.

According to a sign I saw on the way home from work, the tire change place is "hireing."
(Yeah, I don't know what that means either.  I wonder if it pays well.)

It's only common courtesy.

Considering how dangerous this situation has the potential to be, she should at least be given a name.

(Especially since this is actually her second appearance.)

I must find this amazing garment.

According to the little boy trying to convince his sister to buy it, whatever she was trying on was perfect for playing War, Ninja, Ninja Detective, and Old Man and Old Woman, the last one seeming to  entail them dying at the end.  All that I can be sure of was that someone was going to be playing Ninja when he got home, and if his sister didn't buy whatever it was that she was trying on, she wouldn't be.

Apollo, no!

I know I wasn't supposed to think it, and I certainly wasn't supposed to laugh, but when I read the line "Whatever it takes to break you," I couldn't help but think of Rocky IV, and wonder when Ivan Drago had joined The Hunger Games.

And so we must now say goodbye to the Ambassador.

He only appeared twice, but still threatened to take over the story.

I gave into peer pressure.

I read The Hunger Games.
All of it.
All three books in about a week and a half.
Now I'm thinking that first book was the easiest to film.
Because more than a few later scenes left me wondering how the heck they're going to film them.
One scene in particular.
I won't say which one, but here's a clue: Younglings.
That is all.

Spit it out. Spit. It. Out.

I think Violet Beauregarde and her sister went shopping today.
(And after that, I couldn't get the song out of my head.)

You're a real piece of work, you know that.

I have never wanted to slap a fictional character more than I want to slap him.
(And if he keeps it up, I'm going to change that to a punch.)
The problem is, I created him, so I guess you could argue that it's my fault he's the way he is.

(Not that I'm going to change him.)
(Because in a way, I also really, really like him.)
(I know.  It's a problem.)

I have been neglectful.

I know this.
I blame the Olympics.
And laziness.
And exhaustion.

And the world was never the same...again.

Budapest.

How will you remember it?

It might even work if she can keep her temper.

Slowly but surely, she's pulling him back into the world.
Whether he wants her to or not.
But isn't that what sisters are for?

Don't say that.

It only makes you sound crazy.

He is angry.

He is furious.
He is enraged.
He has had it.

No, he is not Dot Warner.
But the sentiment still stands.

(There's also nothing he can do.)

Because that really makes me want to shop.

It doesn't matter that you put a techno beat to it,
In the end, it's still a song about kids killing kids for entertainment.

I've over thought this again, haven't I?

If the goggles rest above, or on, the brim of the top hat, how do you pull them down without either bending, and potentially damaging, the brim, or having to take off the hat?

That's what it always felt like anyway.

Super Soaker "The Thin Wet Line" from COWORKERS on Vimeo.

Why doesn't this memory feel like it's mine?

Because it's not, dear.
Not completely.

I thought you were gone.

Apparently you had one more stop to make.
(And a little more trouble to cause.)

So close. So close.

If we can fit these two people in,
I think we'll have everyone we need.
If we can fit them in.

Your attention, please.

The timeline will realign in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
We apologize for any inconveniences and misplaced characters that may occur as a result.
Have a nice day.

Yes, he's green.

He's always been green.
The only thing that's changed is that now I actually know why.

Oh dear.

Is that going to make the family reunion awkward.

Happy birthday Book One!

I finished you a year ago today.
I should really think about getting you out of that box.
(But your little brother is just so impatient about being written.)

Congratulations, you have a name.

Now if you could only tell me what his is, we'll be all set for part three.
(If there's going to be a part three.)

Well that's another four days I'll never get back.

I only hope the sky doesn't decide to rip when I try painting it again because I really don't want to have to retrace everything a third time.

Don't say that to him.

It really isn't going to help the situation.
In fact, it's going to undo everything you've just accomplished.
Good job.
Better luck next time.

Get growing.

The facts speak for themselves.

I won't say that I just spent the last hour listening to Dmitri Shostakovich's "Suite No. 2 for Jazz Orchestra, Op. 50B - Waltz 2."
I will, however, say that the scene in question really required it.

Well that's a relief...I think.

"He won't be aloe this time."

I hear they can be avoided with good brushing habits.

Book two just got its first plot hole.

(Rest assured, trained professionals are working to correct the problem in a timely manner.)
(They just have to find the right Spackle and trowel.)

Welcome back, sir.

It's only been 384 pages since your last appearance.

It's true that they hate each other.

But there's also a lot of respect mixed in there.

(Which is more than I can say for that other pair.)

These negotiations brought to you by

Prokofiev's "Montagues and Capulets."

Or was it just me?

Was anyone else reminded of Inspector Willoughby during that one scene between the Hulk and Loki in The Avengers?

Time to write about snow.

Because isn't that what you're supposed to do in 86 degree weather?

Well they can't be super all the time, can they?

I wouldn't want to meet him in a dark alley.

Or a well-lit alley.
Or anywhere else, for that matter.
(But he sure is fun to write...sometimes.  Other times it's just creepy.)

I blame Thor.

I did not intend to write that scene tonight.

Thank you, Thor.
And House.

And now it's going to be that much harder.

With the success of The Avengers, I won't be surprised to hear rumblings about a Justice League movie, and I think that if one was ever to be made, it has the potential to be good.  Then again, a lot of things have had the potential to be good and turned out to be something else entirely.  However, I also think that the movie, should it ever be made, will both praise and curse The Avengers.  It will praise it because by showing that it is possible to make an ensemble piece, it opened the door for the movie being made at all.  However, it will also curse it because since The Avengers has done so well, the bar has been instantly raised for any future superhero ensemble movies, and these movies will be judged against it, whether or not they actually should.

Then there's the history.  DC movies seem to mainly focus on the big two: Batman and Superman, and these two have a rather rocky track record of successes and failures (not that Marvel doesn't have its own share of that when it comes to movies).  To make a Justice League movie, I think it would be smart to take the Marvel route of subtly connecting the movies, if only after the credits have rolled, and setting them in very similar, if not the same, universes.  It would also mean that maybe, just maybe, the movie studios would have to look beyond Bats and Supes and focus on some of the other members of the League (and perhaps see what they can do about Lantern, or just start over because it's not like that hasn't been done before) so that people are more acquainted with them and you don't have to do the incredible amount of backstory necessary to bring everyone together when the audience doesn't know who they are (Wonder Woman, Flash, I'm looking at you).

In the end, no matter how it's done, and whoever is hired to do it, the most important thing will be the story.  Explosions are nice and all, and I'll admit that they will draw a certain number of people, but it's the story that will bring them back.  That being said, it can't be all about a single character.  It has to be about the group, otherwise, what was the point of bringing everyone together?  I'll freely admit that my main fear about The Avengers was that it would be The Iron Man (and friends) Movie.  Don't get me wrong, I liked the Iron Man movies.  I thought they had their problems, but I liked them.  Still, I was going to see a movie about The Avengers and Iron Man is only one part of that group.  Thankfully, my fear was never realized, and the movie turned out to be good and something I'd go see again and want to own.  Yet with success comes danger.  The inevitable sequel is not a sure thing money maker and will have its own hurdles to overcome and will need a story capable of overcoming them.  The first movie was about getting the band together.  The second one will be more of a challenge because it will be about keeping the band together and answering the "Well, we've assembled.  Now what?" question, and while it will bring with it the goodwill created by the first, the second will still be judged against it and will have to be as good or better so that people don't find themselves yearning for past glories and saying, "That was good, but..."  Now, I think that it can be as good or better, but it will all depend on the story and the balance of characters, and what has happened in the solo movies in between, because if the process repeats itself, as I believe that it should, it's those movies that will be the foundation upon which the new house is built.

Now that the dominoes have started to fall,

It's time to put the rest of the pieces on the board.

We shall sail to the island of Capri

And buy the pants.

The dreams don't mean that he's broken through,

Only that he's starting to remember.

Your attention, please.

While management does not condone the character in question's actions, we feel that it would be detrimental to the story to interfere at this time.
(He's actually being rather well behaved, all things considered, and we do not wish to send him the wrong message.)
However, should circumstances change, rest assured that swift action will be take to rectify the matter.
Thank you.

Read, read, read.

How can you not get it?

Watching a story on the news about one of the latest jobs reports, the reporter spoke about how while retailers had seen greater sales (or something like that, I can't remember exactly), there hadn't been a correlating increase in retail hiring, after which he said something like, "But that doesn't make sense."  Sorry, sir, but it does.  It makes perfect sense.  Hiring more people means paying more people, and if the stores want everyone to think that they're making money, then they can't do anything to take that money away.  I also think the lack of hiring might have something to do with the fact that the reason some of these stores are selling more is because they're giving out coupons like candy, which in turn may be the reason for the increased sales and may correlate into more merchandise sold, but not necessarily more money earned when adjusted for inflation and whatnot.
Now, I'm not saying that stores should never give out coupons.  What I'm saying is that coupons are like drugs, and you can't get people addicted and then take them away without consequences.  Sure, coupons may get people in the door, and those people might or might not buy more because they have a coupon, but the problem is that if the store offers too many too often, they condition people to shop only when they have coupons, meaning that during those times when a coupon isn't offered, there's a decrease in store traffic.  In effect the store has trapped itself by offering so many coupons because if it ever wants to cut back on the number it offers in order to make more money, there are going to be problems.  Initially, customers are probably going to wait for the coupon to arrive, and when it doesn't, they're going to become angry because they've become accustomed to receiving them and now feel that it's their right to have them and how dare the store do that to them.  I think this then means that there's a good chance of a backlash occurring, during which customers will either seek other stores, or make threats about how they will never shop there again, how the prices are too high, and how it just isn't fair, inevitably resulting in fewer shoppers and lower sales.  If this happens, and if the store isn't strong enough, or doesn't have good enough community relations, to weather the storm, it risks going out of business because let's face it, people are only as loyal as their wallets allows them to be, and there's always another option.
Personally, I've always been leery of stores that give out too many coupons as it seems to be a tactic of last resort for a business in trouble.  It also seems to be a road that can't be taken without great risk should the decision be made to turn around, and I wouldn't be surprised if there haven't been several that went too far down this road of no return and couldn't survive the backlash of a course correction.  Yes, I know that times are tight (Believe me, I'm well aware of that.), but I think you have to be careful with coupons because sure, they bring on the deals, but they also lower the perceived value of the products, not that there aren't quite a few that could stand to be sold for closer to what they're actually worth, but then all of those celebrities would have to take a pay cut, and you risk another backlash when people become angry because they realize just how much extra they've been charged over the years, but that's another matter entirely...

So that's the secret.

So many wasted years...

If I were them,

I would end the episode back on Doom, with an ominous shadow wearing a familiar crown.
But that's just me.
And I miss him.

I hear the rent is cheaper there.

Judging by the sweater, she's dumped Conan the Barbarian and moved to Bartertown.

Rockin' out

To Perry Como.

I know who I'll be rooting for.

Let's go angry goldfinches!
Let's go map of the United Kingdom!
Let's go whatever that thing is that I'm pretty sure is supposed to be a bulldog on the side your mask!

I feel calmer already.

He left early,

And he's up to no good.

Some days, it's Bratopia.

Today, it's Bramageddon.

To read or not to read...does it even matter?

Movies based on books can a tricky subject, being not so much a question of whether or not the filmmakers did a good job of translating the story to the screen, but one of when to read the book being made into said movie.  Should you read it before you go?  After?  Should it even matter?  Should you wait until they’ve finished the movie series before reading the book series?  And if you do, does that make you somehow less dedicated?  Somehow less of a fan?  Opinions vary, and in the end, I think it comes down to personal preference and chance.


For me, if I haven't read the series and was planning to eventually, the fact that a movie is coming out isn't going to get me reading.  Frankly, I've a rather large backlog of things to read and that just won't be enough to bring something from the back to the front.  Because of this, I’ve played the game of not reading before seeing the movie twice now, once for Harry Potter and once for The Lord of the Rings, and I don't regret it.  With Potter, I had a reason.  I didn't want to get reading the series before it had been finished, and by the time it was finished, the movies had long since started and I didn't want to start reading before I'd finished watching.  (It made sense to me then, and still does, I swear.)  With the Rings, I just never got around to it, though I knew the general story, and besides, I was already in the middle of reading other things that I didn't want to drop.  After everything was said and done, I did end up reading the books for both series, and even after all that, I still stand by my initial decision.


Sure, not reading the books might have meant that I somehow missed the phenomenon, as so often was the word associated with Mr. Potter, but it was my choice and I still consider myself a fan.  I don’t think that doing it the way I did ruined the experience of either the books or the movies.  True, it might have changed a few things, like how I heard some of the voices or words in my head, but for the most part, the images I saw in my head reading the book bore only a passing resemblance to what I saw on screen, and in fact, many things appeared completely different.  As for the revelations that should have hit so hard, well, those tended to be revealed before I even saw the movie or read the books, in some instances, years before, so I don’t think that they were necessarily a great loss.  (And frankly, I'd already figured out some of them, much like that twist at the end of The Sixth Sense.)  


In a way, I believe that experiencing them in the order in which I did gave me a greater appreciation for both.  Reading the books after, I could see the decisions, many of them I would imagine to have been hard, that had to be made to fit the world onto film in the time allotted, and frankly, there were parts of the books that annoyed me and parts of the films that annoyed me, sometimes the same and sometimes different, and sometimes there were parts I was glad to see had been shortened (or sometimes lengthened, though not as often) because reading them, I found myself thinking, "You really didn't need to spend that many pages on this."  


In fact, if I want to be honest and possibly cause a little trouble by taking the “I’m glad I didn’t read the books first” stance (not that I already haven't), I can even see how knowing everything that was going to happen might have even ruined things when, over the course of filming and production, things had to be changed and scenes that I really liked or felt were powerful, or that just created a lot of questions that weren’t necessarily ever answered, were cut or altered.  And if I want to be really truthful, just as there are parts of the books that I like better than the movies, there are parts of the movies that I like better than the books.  There are also scenes in the books that work, and seem perfectly reasonable that, when I really think about it, would have ended up looking horrible, and even unintentionally funny, when presented on the screen.


This inevitably leads me to my next conundrum: The Hobbit.  I read it, albeit years ago, so there are things I remember, but I'm sure there are a lot of things I've forgotten, and some things that might have gotten mixed together in my mind with the events from The Lord of the Rings and who knows what other books I've read between then and now.  I suppose that I could read it again and refresh myself before I go see the films when they come out, but really, I think I'll probably just leave the book on the shelf and see the movie for what it is: a movie adaptation of a book that I sort of remember.  Oh, I'll probably read it sometime after, but for now the plan is to go to the movies and watch them as movies and view them and the books as separate, but vaguely connected, stories.  Once they're done, there'll be time enough to crack the book open again and see what had been changed, and how what I’d always pictured in my mind appeared differently on the screen.  Besides, I've got far too many other books in the pipeline to drop everything right now.


In the end, however you view the divide between book and movie is your opinion.  This is simply mine.  I hold nothing against those who only read the books and never see the movies, those who see the movies and never read the books, those who have to read the book right before the movie, those who have to read it right after, and those who, like me, wait for everything to end before diving into one or the other.  It’s all a matter of opinion and preference and I'll respect it just so long as you don't try to lord it over me.  When I do finally get around to watching and reading, I’ll probably look upon them both as two separate entities, tied by story, one the first and original, the other a loving tribute and interpretation of the first by someone who hopefully loves the story as much as I do.


(I would have gotten into some books that I read before they became movies, but this was already getting too long, and for the most part, those movies really weren't very good, and I'm still kind of sad about it, so I'm not going to say anything about The Dark is Rising, though I recommend you read the series.)

Do you hear giggling?

I think I just drew a zombie deer.
Whoops.

Poor little guy just doesn't get it.

Does that make me a bad person?

It's not that I agree with them,
Or condone what they're doing,
Or would ever want to be one of them.

They're just so much fun to write.

If I have to listen to the same songs every time I'm at work,

At least make them grammatically correct.
(And for the love of God, Jon Bon Jovi, enunciate!  :))

Maybe if he didn't always seem to have that same expression on his face...

Lately, Alec Baldwin seems to be a caricature of...something, I'm still not sure what.

Don't be afraid to think, or trust your brain.

The ad where the girl says that she would feel more powerful if she could use her phone all day always makes me a little sad.
That doesn't sound like power.  It sounds like slavery.

That's unfortunate.

A news report on The Hunger Games movie just described it as teens fighting in a battle royale.
Someone should probably tell them to never say that again.

(And yes, I know that the correct term is actually battle royal, but that was how it was pronounced, so that's how I'm writing it.)

In honor of tonight.

But don't you always win at roulette?

"I'm shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on in here!"
"Your winnings, sir."
"Oh, thank you very much."
                                               -Captain Renault & a croupier

Wait, why is he wearing a cape?

He's indoors, isn't he?
Who does he think he is, Dracula?
(He's doesn't, and he's not.)
(He doesn't even know who that is.)

And so, Personville was cleaned.

As much as a place also known as Poisonville could be cleaned.

So he didn't drop the gun after all?

Or did he go back and get it later?

(Then again, maybe it's just a plot hole.)
(An annoying, annoying plot hole.)

Carl just dropped Chekhov's gun in the woods.

Someone better pick it up and shoot the darn thing.

Dear Book One,

Like Dale, I'm afraid you're going to have to be gutted.
The Darling may have to die.
But fear not, for it will live on in another file.
Just not this one.

Dear Book Two,

I hope you're not as long as Book One.

The customer is always right,

And pedestrians always have the right of way.
But in an accident, a car will do more damage to the pedestrian than the pedestrian will do to the car.

And I'm going to pretend you didn't say that.

"I don't drink.  I'd rather spend the money on books."
"I'm going to pretend you didn't say that."

(This conversation really happened, and I'd still rather spend the money on books.)

Cherry cough syrup.

It's just as bad as you remember.

Well that makes sense.

It's almost like I'd planned it.
Almost.

Realignment complete.

You are now free to carry on.
(Until the next time.)

Time to draw the rest of the birds.

Now that I think all the trees have been placed.
And the squirrels.
And the raccoons.
Oh, and Santa.  I can't forget him.
Now that they're in place, I know where to put the birds.

(And the cat.)
(But don't worry, the birds will be fine.  She isn't hungry.)

If only they were, this would be so much easier.

But horses are not cars,
And gates not widely used.

Recalculating...

Your attention, please.
The timeline is currently out of alignment.

Please ignore any future or past events you may encounter.

Trained professionals are working around the clock to correct the errors.

You will be returned to the story when the realignment is complete.

Thank you for your patience.

Please stand by for further announcements.

I've never seen that show before. Is it good?

According to the boxes of the program guide, here's what should have been on television last night*:

First on the schedule we have:
How I Met Everybody According To 30 Rock
The never ending television character review show where we get to look back on everyone who ever appeared on screen in the history of television, including such favorites as guy walking dog, little girl on swing, and lady with a coffee.  Personally, I'm waiting to hear whatever happened to fan number 6,492 from the episode about the big game.  I felt that they really made me think I was watching an actual sporting event.  And don't forget to tune in for the very special sweeps weeks and holiday episodes that will highlight those characters actually given names.

Then stay tuned for another exciting episode of:
Everybody My Name Is Earl Beverly Hills Cop III
The little show about the influential owner of a grand southern mansion who awakens one day to find that everyone has forgotten who he is in a strange sort of mass selective amnesia.  Every episode shows Earl's constant fight to to prove his existence while searching for the ultimate answer of why it happened in the first place.  Who will the ultimate culprit behind the loss be?  The government?  A secret society?  A vengeful ex?  A crazy scientist trying to cover up an experiment gone awry?  A dog?  The mind reels.

I don't know about you, but I can't wait to see what's on tonight.

*note that the synopses of the shows are purely my own and don't actually reflect what was on, but I'd like to think that they did.

Is it a good thing or a bad thing?

What does it mean that I can identify Lee Van Cleef just by the sight of his eyes looking over a gun?
Too many westerns, or too many viewings of that Twilight Zone episode he was in with Lee Marvin and James Best?

If you ask me, I think old Lee is thinking of shooting Rosco P. Coltrane in the back right about now.

Trust me.

Don't do it.
Not him.
Not ever.

This may not be popular.

But I'm really missing the snow right now.
I don't think I would if it wasn't supposed to be here.
But it is.
And I am.

There's a reason some of these conversations were cut.

I'd appreciate a little less Super Villain Speech from you,
And a little less Super Hero Speech from you.
Thank you.

So who do you think he roots for when he watches?

 
http://www.lilformers.com/index.php/2009/12/07/lil-formers-174-mumm-ra/

Well that's a little morbid.

I wonder if some people have to take hair height and width into account when selecting a coffin.

Nice of you to show up, Phil.

Now imagine that coming from a squirrel.
Decorating a Christmas tree.

I don't know what it means either.

Frustration gives way to answer.

Sure, he's awake now, but still...

I don't know whether to thank you,
Or give you a good smack upside the head.
Stupid old man.
You have no idea what you've just done.

Huh.

It certainly got dark in here while I was typing.
Apparently I don't look too often at the letters on the keys.
I also don't seem to pay attention to the light.
I guess I was just in my own little world for a moment there.
(And I have to say that it's definitely lighter there, though possibly just as cloudy.)

It happens every year...

Maybe if their team had been allowed to win once in a while,
they wouldn't have felt the need to burn the quidditch pitch.

Oh dear.

I kind of forgot about you, didn't I?
And you too?
Oh my.

Let not the monster comment fool you.

For I do love it so.

The monster has been printed.

Time to make it bleed.

Just let it fall.

Happy Exploding Coffee Cup Awareness Day!

Well, you see Sir...

http://www.lilformers.com/index.php/2008/10/13/lil-formers-118-gargoyles-tng/

Funny,

Needles turns into needless so easily,
but that doesn't mean it makes sense when it does.

You mean she didn't really wear that?

I thought the little girl's shirt said Furniture Humanitarian, not Future Humanitarian.

I'll admit, I'm a little sad to be wrong about this one.

I found the idea of a Furniture Humanitarian far more interesting.

Long live The Ottoman Empire!

(That would be a little Tick reference for those of you who care.)

You mean she might not really be saying that?

Even though it might be wrong because they seem to censor it sometimes,
I still think Adele's saying that she'll lay your ship bare.
I have no idea what it means, but I'll take it.
It sounds very nautical.

Happy New Year.

It needs to be a lot better than the old one or there are going to be words (and maybe pictures).
Here's hoping for the best.