Huh?

Why, if you're going to be taking the first watch, did you get up and head for one of the tents?

(What are you going to do next, drop down to one one, or maybe slot your throat?)

Lies! Lies!

Mark and Ben navigate the dangerous rapids of Devil's Pass as they try to get the Senator to the hospital in time. The ducks and the Jack Elrod Ball guide the paddlers, trying to find them the safest way through. (Or at least the Jack Elrod Ball is. The ducks kind of look like they're trying to get away because they don't want to see the nice woodsman drown.) You know, Mark and Ben, it might have been easier to use a rubber raft. At least then you could have bounced off of the rocks. That canoe is likely to break apart or tip over if you hit anything (or are just hit the wrong way by a wave), but I guess you two are too brave to know any better.
A short time later, the two arrive at the hospital (which must be right on the river and have a special entrance for boats), and the Senator gets the medical attention he needs. Everything seeming to be all right, Mark decides to give Cherry a call and see how things are going back at Lost Forest, and here the lies begin. I'm not sure that the Jack Elrod Ball is too happy about you not telling her the truth about what has happened, though she should be curious about this "I just wanted to call and tell you how much I miss you!" thing seeing as how that's just the sort of call one would make after one goes through a near-death experience.
Oh Mark, why do you continue to tell such lies. (I bet you'd tell her the same thing if you ended up in Mid-World and were facing death from all of those robots and ne'erdowells.) I think that Cherry could take it. She's a tough little lady. After all, she faced off against a mountain lion and the woman who wants to steal you away all in the same day. Oh well, maybe this adventure is something that really needs to be talked about face to face after it's all been resolved. (You'd just better hope that the Jack Elrod Ball doesn't tell her what really happened before you have a chance to.) His phone call finished, who should show up at the hospital but Tim, who is clearly concerned about the Senator, not because they're friends or anything, but if the old guy kicks the bucket, this whole Save Paradise Lake thing could blow up in his face.
Later, with Senator Hatcher on the road to recovery, Mark, Tim, and Ben leave the hospital and head on over to Tim's office where Mark, with the help of a friendly hawk, begins to recount the events leading up to the elderly gent's hospitalization. I wonder how long this is going to take, and what it's going to mean about the future of Mark's adventure. One thing is for certain, I'm not sure how soon he's going to be seeing Cherry. There's still quite a lot to do and at least one more fight to be had.

He's just mad that there's not going to be a pool party tomorrow.

Sure, mysterious man, Ambassador U. Niform is just fine. Oh yeah, Dick Tracy is too. I'm sure you were really worried about him, seeing as how he was the only one really doing anything about that whole bomb thing. Unfortunately, the same thing cannot be said about Tracy's suit as it was probably dry clean only and all of those pool chemicals are probably going to wreak havoc on the fabric. Oh well. How many galas does he attend anyway? (Besides, he can probably make some kind of claim and be reimbursed for it seeing as how it was damaged in the line of duty.) The only good thing that has happened as a result of the bombing attempt (besides the fact that Tracy survived, of course) is that it seems to have cured Tess of her T-Rex Arms. (Who knew? I sure didn't. Amazing stuff, stress.) Ever the detective, Tracy isn't even letting almost dying keeping him from getting right back on the job and calling for backup (even though it's probably really because the sooner he calls in for backup, the sooner he can go home).

Meanwhile, a guy who we've never seen before (and who sort of looks like Lenin) tries to calm everyone down and only achieves in calming down the delegation from Lava Lampalia, but hey, a starts a start and I hear that those guys are really good at getting everyone to relax. Meanwhile, the Terror Squad (which seems like it has a rather unfortunate, misleading name, being on the side of good and all) has finally arrived and Tracy has them block off all of the exits. Unfortunately, there might be a fly in the ointment as the local television stations have all sent reporters over to get the story (and we can only hope that that group includes The Night Cam). Quick Tracy, call Joe Friday. He's pretty good at dealing with the press and with him on the case, you know that things are going to get resolved pretty darn quick.And just when things couldn't get worse, who should step onto the scene but Phil Harmonic, demanding to know why Tracy chucked his precious Stradivarius into the pool when everyone knows that you should never throw an instrument made of wood into a pool (or an instrument made of metal either since that could make it rust). Of course, after hearing that the instrument could have been an integral part of the assassination of the ambassador, he immediately decides that it had to have been the work of his wayward son (because everyone knows that a career in rock and roll ultimately leads to a life of crime). I guess you could say that he wanted to start his career with a bang, huh, Maestro? Leaving the gala (and before Tracy socks the Maestro in the jaw), the strip switches over to Virgil Ohso' lair, where news of the explosion has just come over the airwaves and he begins to celebrate his victory. I sure hope he won't have cracked open the tins of caviar and other expensive dishes, or hung up too much crepe paper before he finds out that the only victims were a pool, some windows, some umbrellas, and a couple of plants.

I'd like to take a moment to thank Yakko, Wakko, and Dot.

Without them, I would have never known the answer to that Jeopardy! question.

For the most part, I don't really care who wins.

I just want to hear the theme song from The Adventures Of Brisco County, Jr.

(And maybe watch some curling because, well, curling is just neat.)

Clickety clack, down the track I go.

A lot of them seem to be listening to something while they compete.

Do they have to check the iPods of Olympic athletes to make sure they aren't using them to cheat?

Let's dance!

After seeing his precious Stradivarius in the hands of a common detective, and upon hearing what said detective did with the instrument, Phil flies into a rage. Apparently he's already forgotten that he was only recently about to smash the instrument over his son's head. (I bet if this strip was in color, his eyes would be red, too.) Meanwhile, in the grand tradition of the man from the bank who tried to stop a pack of demon dogs with dance, the guests at Ambassador U. Niform's gala cope with the prospect of being blown to smithereens by throwing the greatest dance party the world has ever seen. They've got it all, folks. The Twist, The Running Man, The Monkey, The Robot, and of course, a generous, generous helping of jazz hands. In fact, the only one who seems to be taking this seriously is Tess (and that could be only because her husband was the one last seen carrying the bomb), who is finally putting her T-Rex Arms illness to good use (though, and I could be wrong, it looks like one of her hands might now be on backwards. Will that poor woman's suffering never end?).
While the guests cope with their imminent doom in the only ways they know how, Tracy finally finds the pool, and not a moment too soon, for shortly after throwing the instrument in, it explodes with a great FLOOOOOMM! Sorry folks, looks like there will be no pool party tomorrow. (On the plus side, there might be skateboarding or hand ball.) The force of the explosion sends Tracy sprawling to the ground as it tosses umbrellas and breaks window after window. I don't know about Tracy (though I have to believe he'll survive because, well, it's his comic), but someone is going to have a lot to clean up when this is all over.

I know I probably wasn't supposed to think that.

When that tree went down, all I could think was, "Boy, Galadriel is going to be really, really mad at you guys," and then the good old narrator came on the scene again, saying, "And after the destruction of her summer home, Galadriel never asked the Na'vi to house sit for her ever again."

Cannon ball!

Before Phil can crack the Stradivarius over his son's head, Tracy grabs the instrument from the enraged maestro's hand and immediately thinks there's something wrong with it. How he knows that is beyond me since I've never seen him pick up a violin before. (Who does he think he is? Sherlock Holmes? Jack Aubrey? What I want is some proof that he knows what's wrong.) Who knows, maybe the violin is making a mysterious ticking noise. Phil doesn't seem to care too much for his sleuthing and seems to have now turned his rage on our fearless detective, challenging him to a fight. Oh Phil, Phil, Phil. You are starting a fight that you can't possibly win, and seeing how Tracy has been in a rather foul mood this whole time, you could be cruisin' for a bruisin'. Just remember Tracy, don't break the maestro's baton hand. He needs that for work.
Using his previously unknown x-ray vision, Tracy determines that the reason why the Stradivarius feels so different is that it has been turned into a bomb (and also a work of somewhat modern art, as panel two seems to show). I am a little concerned though, that Tracy might be only making matters worse by shaking the violin. Now, I'm no expert on these sorts of things, but if I realized that I was holding a bomb, the last thing I would do is shake it considering that all of those delicate parts might just be jostled loose and detonate the weapon long before it's supposed to go off. Oh well, time to go back to Ohso's lair, where the fiendish felon is reveling in his evilness (even though he hasn't heard whether the bomb has gone off, and even though he's leaving a lot of things up to chance).
While Ohso and Low Note play the waiting game to see how much damage their violin bomb does (and I hope they have a television so that they can know if everything went according to plan because if not, they'll have to wait for the morning paper), we switch back to the embassy, where Tracy is running like a mad man, trying to find some place to dispose of the bomb before time runs out. I guess. I mean, if it's supposed to go off when it hits a certain note, wouldn't not playing that note render it pretty much useless? Maybe not. Maybe Virgil made Chris add a timer in as well, just in case the note didn't get played (because if he went to all of that trouble and nothing exploded, well, that would just be sad). With no other choice, Tracy comes up with the perfect way to dispose of the instrument: chuck it into the swimming pool (because all embassy's have one, don't they?). Looking for the fastest route to the Embassy Aquatic Center, Tracy stops to ask one of the embassy employees, and I must say that I love the expression on that guy's face in panel three. I can just hear him say, in a very snooty voice, "Sir, please, this is an embassy gala. We do not do such things here. It would be most inappropriate." Sir, it would also be quite inappropriate to blow up all of these good people.

Be on the look out for mutants, too.

The Parker brothers dispatched, the trouble continues to mount as Senator Hatcher's previously unknown health problem rears its head and he falls to the ground, grabbing a nearby rock for support. I guess it now makes sense why Mark was doing all of the paddling. A heart condition is no laughing matter, though I have to wonder if it was that big of deal, why didn't the Senator insist on someone else (say, Tim?) coming along with them, especially since he knew that he wouldn't be doing any paddling. Oh well. Better find those pills, Mark. Looks like he's going to need them (but at least there's plenty of water to wash them down). He's also going to need a ride to the hospital. (Maybe they should consider taking a speed boat or airplane.)
Finding no help from all of the other boaters on the lake, and unable to get any help from the Parker brothers, who have mysteriously disappeared, Mark paddles with all his might back to Ben's cabin. In fact, it would seem that the only ones actually coming to his aid are a couple of ducks (which I guess are better than the geese because the ducks seem to be actually able to fly). It is at this point that Ben wishes he had decided to take a walk in the woods after all because he really, really doesn't need this today (and he's probably hoping that that cup of coffee he gave the Senator earlier isn't to blame for his current condition as his coffee-making skills have never been the greatest). Oh well. You're a part of this now, Ben. Better just accept it and get on with your life.
Back at Ben's Mark tries to find the gravely ill Senator the fastest route to the hospital, only to find that there won't be any flights due to bad weather, which makes me wonder just how far away the city is from the Paradise Lake area. It looks like the only way to get the Senator to safety is to risk life and limb by taking the river right through the much-feared Devil's Pass. Oh Devil's Pass. The very name reminds me of a scene from The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra where the friendly farmer (who is soon after killed by the aliens' lost mutant) tells Paul and Betty Armstrong that to find their cabin all they have to do is "Stay on this road here, past Dead Man's Curve, you'll come to an old fence, called The Devil's Fence. From there, go on foot till you come to a valley known as The Cathedral Of Lost Soap. Smack in the center is what they call Forgetful Milkman's Quadrangle. Stay right on The Path Of Staring Skulls and you come to a place called Death Clearing. Cabin's right there, can't miss it." Looks like Mark is going to have quite the adventure, and if he manages to make it through the pass, he still has to get the Senator to the hospital, and considering that the trip is supposed to take a few hours, the condition of the older gentleman upon arrival may be a very big question mark (but no matter what his condition, he'll be needing that hospital, if only for identification purposes).

Movie Moments XXII: Looking into the future.

Sure, the movie is still in theaters. Sure, it's probably going to be quite some time before it shows up on television, but that doesn't mean I can't see myself watching that one little scene every time I know the movie is going to be on. What movie is this, you ask? Just a little film called Avatar, and certain a Colonel Miles Quaritch, a.k.a. Papa Dragon. Say what you will about the guy, but he had just about one of the best little moments in the entire movie. (Okay, maybe that's just my opinion, and maybe it wasn't supposed to make me laugh, but it did, and I'm going to enjoy seeing it later.) What moment was this, you ask? It happens near the end, when his transport ship is going down. It is at this pivotal moment that our old pal the Colonel is on fire, literally. Running to his AMP suit (yeah, had to look that one up), one can't help but notice that his shoulder is on fire, and one cannot also help but notice that he's not doing a darn thing about it. In fact, he only thinks to put it out after he's jumped into his suit and is about to get out of the crashing ship, and even then, he acts like the fire is just a minor annoyance like a mosquito, and forgive me for laughing and adding in some dialogue, but I half-expected him to say something to the tune of, "Dang fire," as he patted it out. I want to believe (and this makes it even funnier) that had he not been getting into that suit that he wouldn't have done anything about the fire, and that he was actually doing it to save the upholstery because, well, no one wants sit on melting plastic. (That, and the smell.) But wait, the moment doesn't end here. No sir. It goes on, for when he lands in the jungle, his robot is on fire and once again our fearless leader shows no fear and does absolutely nothing about it. The whole moment is just priceless, and it's something I know I'm going to have to see again and again and again.

What, indeed.

Finally noticing the rock band, Phil Harmonic seems to question its very existence. This is, after all, an embassy gala, and therefore a very high-class affair, making such a low-brow group as a rock and/or roll band unnecessary and an affront to good taste everywhere. Unfortunately, before we can learn anything more, the strip jumps to the lair of Virgil Ohso, where we're about to learn all about what Chris Shendo did to the Stradivarius now in Phil's possession, but before we can actually learn anything, the strip jumps again to a very suspicious Dick Tracy, who wants to know why a certain violin now in the hands of a certain maestro never went through the scanner. Tess, on the other hand, has had a little too much of Dick's sour expressions and dark thoughts, and wants him to forget about it and head over to the buffet. (I'd do it. I hear they have those little crab puffs. Man, those things are delicious!)
Deciding that nothing really happens when a three-panel strip jumps to three locations, things settle down for a moment and we return to Ohso's lair, where Low Note (who decided to change into a snazzy plaid turtleneck that probably matches his coat really, really well) explains that Shendo rigged the Stradivarius to explode when it hits a certain note. Oh man, that's really a shame. That poor instrument. That poor, valuable instrument. (Oh yeah, and all of the people and stuff, too.) Couldn't you have done the same thing with a less expensive violin? That's what I would have done.
Ohso's plan now known, we move back to the embassy, where the maestro has just discovered that his wayward son (and bane of his existence) is in the very rock band that is to preform at the embassy gala. Oh, this is not good. Not good at all. Seeing Junior even makes Phil so angry that he's willing to destroy his priceless, priceless instrument just so that he'll never have to deal with the kid's shenanigans ever again. (Phil, I thought you loved that violin. Why would you even think of using it as a weapon when there are so many other things you could be using. I suggest the ice sculpture, or you could probably do a lot damage with a well-placed jab of your pointy baton.) Before he can deliver any sort of whack to his offspring's noggin, however, the ambassador steps in, leaving us all on the edge of our seats (and pretty much bringing the action to a dead stop. Thanks a lot.).

And stay out of The Woolworth's!

Sherlock Hooves looking on, Senator Hatcher listens as Joe orders Mark and him to vacate the premises and get back to the city where they belong so that he and his brother can continue whatever shady operation it is that they've got going at the lake (and I for one still really, really want to know what it is). Unfortunately, he seems to have underestimated the wily old Senator (as I believe we all have) and is unprepared for the unexpected karate chop that he suddenly finds himself at the receiving end of. Wow. Who knew that the old guy had it in him? I sure didn't. I must say, this is most unexpected. Really, it is. I expected Mark to land the first blow.
Briefly caught off guard, Joe quickly regains his senses and leaps into action, knocking the Senator to the ground with a little chin music. It's at this point that Mark, deciding that he should probably step in and do something, leaps to the fallen Senator's aide and tries to hold back Joe before he can continue his assault, all under the gaze of that random squirrel (who might or might not be named Merle), who I would think should probably be heading off to get Mark some help (or at least gather up some other animals and start taking bets as to the outcome of this scuffle), for it would appear that he does indeed need some. Mark distracted, Moe (who seems to have taken the opportunity to shave off his beard between appearances in the strip) grabs Mark from behind, causing him to accidentally strike the Jack Elrod Ball instead of the Parker brother. Things are starting to look bad. I hope someone shows up soon to step in and put a stop to all of this. (Ben? Mr. Tuggle? Anyone?)
Now outnumbered, Mark finds himself at the receiving end of a pummeling by the Parker brothers. Thanks a lot, Merle. You sure aren't being very helpful right now (and you just know that he's saying something like, "Fight! Fight! Fight!"). As he beats Mark up, Joe continues to tell him that he and the Senator should have just left well enough alone, which is probably a very stupid thing to do since by beating up the intrepid woodsman, you've only made him more determined to have his revenge and find out just what you're trying to hide. (Plus, now he can bring the authorities into it, seeing as how this is what you'd call an assault.) Oh Joe and Moe, you don't know how much trouble you've just created for yourselves.

In the interests of time.

Mark and Senator Hatcher finally reach the lake and head on over to Ben's cabin. (Yes, the same Ben who was showing Mr. Tuggle around the lake.) Over a cup of coffee, the Senator lets Ben know that he and the intrepid woodsman will be puttering around the lake to get an idea of what's going on. He also takes a moment to reminisce about the past, and oh, what wonderful days they were. You remember, don't you? Back when the fish could swim free and not be afraid of carnivorous rocks. Back when there weren't any speed boats. Back when the ladies and gents would stroll along the bank in their finery, free of the foul city air, talking of nothing and everything as they restored their constitutions and put everything back in balance. Of course Ben, being the party pooper that he is, just has to point out that things have changed. The horse drawn carriages have been replaced by cars and the kids aren't satisfied by paper boats and hoops. Oh Senator, you're living in the past it's true, but can't there be a middle ground somewhere? (I guess that's what we're here to find out, isn't it?)

Tired of listening to Ben ramble on about how his clients come in by plane, and how it's time to change with the times, Mark and the Senator hit the lake to enjoy the splendor of nature (which seems to amount to geese and beavers). Heading for a quiet little cove, which is probably on the other side of the lake, and which they'll probably reach by evening seeing as how Mark is the only one doing any sort of paddling, the two take in the sights, marveling at the beaver dams, the rolling green hills (or maybe those are trees) and that dead tree/telephone pole by the rocks that we can only imagine is about to be added to the dam. Yep, everything seems to be going well, but it seems that it might be going too well, for on the horizon is a shadowy boat with two equally shadowy passengers, who, considering that they're uninvited, can only be bringing trouble to the two campers.

Trouble indeed. The nefarious Parker brothers reappear and it would seem that Joe (the side-burned one) and Moe (the bearded one) aren't too pleased to see the older man and his khaki-wearing friend camping on their side of the lake. They are even less pleased when they find out that the elderly gent is Senator Hatcher, enemy to speed boaters and shadowy camps everywhere. Looks like there's trouble brewing. Perhaps it's time for a little two-fisted diplomacy, eh, Mark?

He never did answer my letter, but then, I never did get around to mailing it.

All I want to know is whether Unobtanium possesses qualities similar to Atmospherium.

(And if the former can be used to bring skeletons back to life.)

I think I'll look elsewhere.

If the bumper sticker for a tattoo parlor has a misspelling on it,

I can't help but wonder about the quality of the actual tattoos.

Sometimes I forget.

Luckily, I always start with the zero,

remember that there shouldn't be a nine there any more,

and usually have enough room for the one.

Usually.

She's still a fool, though.

The lyrics aren't "whack-a-doodle," they're "shag-a-doo-la."

(I think I like mine better.)

It's just not the same five feet away on a thirty inch screen.

3-D movies. Apparently, we all love them again because it seems like everywhere you look, there's another one. Okay, I'll admit it: I do think they're kind of neat. I do think that they offer a unique viewing experience. (I also think that they're kind of a sneaky way to charge a little more for movies that might or might not be worth the price of admission.) I do think that, handled well, the 3-D can add to the experience and make the story better, but I think there might be a problem transferring this experience to the home because it has been my experience that things that have worked on the big screen in 3-D, as well as some things that are made for the small screen, just don't seem to translate very well, and every time I've been told to get those 3-D glasses on, I walk away less than satisfied. I think the smart thing, and something that has already been done with other movies using the 3-D angle (I wanted to say gimmick, but I won't), is to sell it as a regular movie, but give people the option of buying an edition that also contains the 3-D version. That way, should they have the big, giant, why-oh-why-do-you-need-such-a-thing television, they can watch it and get the theater experience they remember. Those of us who don't, and who have no intention of fighting the 3-D glasses that inevitably tried to slide off of their nose through most of the movie again, can enjoy the movie without the 3-D because our television screens are just too small to make it make that much of a difference. Of course, the problem that might arise then is that without the neato wowee 3-D, we might just focus in on the story and there might be more than a few holes that were covered up by the pretty, pretty pictures.

It's done.

I think it ended rather well, too.

Thanks Phil.

I don't mind six more weeks.

I like snow.

Feel free to sing "Secret Agent Man."

Leaving the sudden excitement at the embassy as a sort of cliff-hanger, we turn back to Tess and Dick (who seems to be taking his sweet, sweet time in getting ready). Dick seems less than enthused about going to the party and I think I know why. The poor guy is obviously out of sorts because he has to wear a white bow tie when he is clearly a black bow tie man, and not even Tess's feminine whiles (or snazzy vest) will pull him out of this funk. (Really Tess? You're going to wear a vest to an embassy gala? I think you didn't read the invitation correctly.) The only upside of this whole evening is that he gets to pack some heat so that if someone just won't leave him alone, or if the guy with the good appetizer tray just never seems to find his way over, he can just wave it around in the air or fire a couple of times to scare the annoyances off. Tess, however, does her part to ensure that something will happen by insinuating that nothing will (thank you, Theoden and Captain Smith).
Meanwhile, back at the embassy (and because no one really wanted to see how the Tracy's got to the gala that has yet to begin), Phil Harmonic makes a wondrous discovery: his missing Stradivarius about to go through the scanner (which of course you should never do). The poor sap in whose case the valuable instrument was in looks like he's in for a world of hurt from the maestro, but then, apparently just happy to have it back, he decides instead to turn his frustrations into beautiful music, and the poor guy who was supposed to play in the quartet just gets to go home because they are not a quintet and he therefore has no purpose (or ticket). Poor guy. The violin finally back in his hands, Phil is happy, but something seems to be amiss...
Oh well, I'm sure that it's not important. What is, is that the Tracy's have finally arrived (even though Dick appears to have forgotten to brush his hair) and Tess is all about having a good time (even if she does seem to have forgotten that Dick is supposed to be working). Always on duty, Dick immediately notices the maestro, who seems to be acting strangely, though I think the only reason he thinks that is because he's never actually seen the man happy. Still, there could be something there, for as Phil tunes up the violin, he can't quite shake the feeling that it's a little heavier than he remembered, but we also don't know how long it's been since he last picked up the thing, so it could all just be in his head. On second thought, though, this is a Dick Tracy comic, and we already saw someone tinkering with the instrument, so of course there's something wrong with it. The real question is: what?

Well, this is awkward, isn't it?

As Virgil continues to plot, trying to figure out how to get the purloined (but not really because the kid sold it to him fair and square, even if the kid did sort of steal it...) Stradivarius into the fancy shindig being thrown by Ambassador U. Niform (hee, hee, hee), he gets some rather good news from one of his goons, the treacherous Low Note. Apparently, even though this party will take place at an embassy, where one would think that rather important people would be, there's not going to be much security, which means that even someone as suspicious looking as our pal Low Note will be able to get in without any trouble. As the arch fiend prepares to hand over the Stradivarius, we switch back to the concert hall, where Phil Harmonic has suddenly had a change of heart and decided that he would indeed like to go to the party, if only because it would help take his mind off of his wayward son. (Shhh, don't tell him. I want it to be a surprise.) Plus, you know, the show must go on and all that stuff.
With Phil rushing off to get dressed, we turn back to Virgil and Low "The Flash" Note, who has already made the switch. Wow, this hideout must be right next to the embassy. Makes me wonder just how important that embassy is, considering that it seems to be on the wrong side of the tracks (unless said tracks run right between the two buildings). As the two revel in their evilness (and Virgil's legs look a lot like those of a Golden Girl, or maybe that's just because of how he's sitting), Kid Vicious and his band, The Ringtones arrive at the embassy. I wonder what they're going to play. (I know I'm going to be sorely disappointed if they don't end up playing "When The Saints Go Marching In," or any of the other classics that came preloaded on my phone.)

And so things seem to be going pretty well. The Ringtones are setting up their amps and tuning their guitars as they get ready to preform, when, horror of horrors, Kid sees his father! Um, Kid, why wouldn't your father be at the embassy? These things tend to be high-class affairs, so of course the conductor of the symphony would be there. (After all, his strings are playing tonight, and he wants to be sure that they don't make fools of themselves.) Your band, on the other hand, is more the oddity of the evening and you're only there because the ambassador likes to rock. Oh well, freak out if you will, my friend. Your father hasn't even seen you yet, though if you didn't read any of the words in the last panel, you might think that was the case. So go, try to be inconspicuous. I suggest you find yourself a trench coat, a fedora, and some dark glasses. Those always seem to help the spies blend in in the movies.

Trouble ahead...and maybe tragedy?

Tim tries valiantly to get Mark on his side, but Mark, well, Mark does things his way and he isn't going to go give his support to something he's never seen before just because a friend says it's important. That, my friends, is just not how things are done, not in Lost Forest anyway. Luckily, Tim seems to have anticipated this and wants Mark to meet Senator Hatcher (who is no longer Senator Hawkins and who I'm afraid is also no longer Mr. Tuggle, who is apparently just a man who likes to canoe and fish). Looks like Mark and the Senator are going to be heading to the lake, but there could be trouble. It seems that poor old Senator Hatcher hasn't been doing too well lately (could it have something to do with the mysterious blonde woman who looks like another blonde woman who looks like a certain dark-haired beauty with a thing for intrepid outdoorsmen?), but that's not going to keep him from hitting the lake, no siree bob.
And so we finally meet Senator Hatcher (who appears to be a slimmer version of Senator Wallace, enemy to wildlife everywhere and friend to speedboats). Choosing a sturdy canoe, the two set off on their adventure, and it is only when they're in the middle of the lake, and thus have gone too far to turn back, that the wily Senator Hatcher tells Mark that he'll have to do most of the work today. Mark doesn't seem to mind one bit, though, so I guess it's okay. It's just too bad that there wasn't room enough for the Jack Elrod Ball to hitch a ride (but on the plus side, it floating around beside the canoe makes it look like an anti-escape orb from The Prisoner). What they should be really concerned about, however, is the giant duck that they're about to ram. I don't know about you, but I'd be wary of that beak. Ducks bite, and if our paddlers have any kind of bread with them, well, watch out!
Ok. I guess they might not have reached the lake yet. In fact, they might have just been on a river or something that people use to get to the lake (even though it looked like they were on a lake, but what are you going to do? Nothing. Nothing at all.), and now it's time for everyone's favorite activity: portaging, where balance and slippery rocks can cause accidents of hilarious proportions (not that I think that Mark will fall, of course, because I want to believe that he's done this on more than one occasion and would therefore know just what to do). I am a little worried about those two geese, though, who seem to have decided to take a migration route that goes through Devil's Pass. You know, that's just the sort of place where something bad could happen, and it would be a real shame to lose those two, even if they don't seem to have the best flying abilities. (Speaking of birds, I miss the Avians.)