It can be whatever you want it to be.

It can be a happy song.

It can be an epic song.

It can be a creepy song.

It can be a scary song.

It can be a light song.

It can be a heavy song.

Oh, "Carol Of The Bells," how I love you.

(And I'm so glad that they play about five different versions of you at work.)

And remember folks,

Please treat the cashmere sweaters with class.

(It's no less than they deserve.)

Where!?!

That nasty poaching business behind them, Mark and Rusty are back on the road, and so that the only thing Rusty remembers from their fishing/camping/photography trip is not the fact that there were poachers and that Sassy was almost eaten by an alligator, Mark decides to take the long way home and give Rusty a chance to see the ocean. They are also apparently bringing home a few guests considering how excited that pelican is to tell Cherry and Doc about the poachers (even though it wasn't even there) and how willing the flea on its wing is to let it tell all of the gory details. Who knows, maybe the Jack Elrod Ball is relating the entire story as it rides along on the pelican's wing. But there could be trouble brewing. While Mark and Rusty chit chat, something seems to have drawn Sassy's attention, and the poor, sweet little puppy doesn't seem to like what she's seeing one bit.
As Mark and Rusty cruise down the highway in that super cool station wagon, a pair of turtles or snakes or bugs or microscopic organisms finally reach the ocean and are amazed that the world has suddenly become a much, much bigger place. The pelican and the Jack Elrod Ball, meanwhile, having flown on ahead, are taking a little rest before they resume the journey back to Lost Forest, but will they even make it? Trouble appears to be on the horizon as a bush yells out a warning to Mark as he drives by, causing the intrepid woodsman to gasp in shock and horror. Whatever could he be seeing? An alien invasion force? A forest fire? A car wreck? A line of ducklings or baby turtles trying to cross the road? A new Cracker Barrel? I, for one, can't wait to find out.

Just don't let him do anything that involves negotiating and everything will be fine.

Ray and Phil dispatched and probably turned over to the proper authorities (or maybe left to the animals for a little swamp justice), Mark and Bob head on over to the wildlife office to pay a visit to Mark's good friend Cliff for another cup of that awesome coffee he makes. (We'll just assume that Rusty and Sassy are waiting in the car.) Mark tells Cliff about the fishing trip (though he neglects to mention that they didn't exactly catch any fish) and explains that Bob is a really, really great guy who's just a little down on his luck and could use a job so that he doesn't revert to his criminal ways (or get peered-pressured into them again).
With recommendations from both Mark Trail and the Jack Elrod Ball, Cliff decides to give poor Bob a break and not take him to court. Ray and Phil, however, will not be so lucky and will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. But wait, there's more! Seeing as how Mark thinks Bob is such a great guy, Cliff decides to give Bob a job in the Wildlife Control Department. (I hear there's a dangerous bear on the lose and there have been a few positions suddenly come open, but don't tell Bob.) It looks like things are finally starting to look up for Bob. Sure, he doesn't have any training in wildlife control, his last job was in a mill, and he's easily led, but at least now he's got a job and probably a snazzy new uniform, so all's well that ends well, I guess.

How do you feel about Mitch Miller?

With the circus caper neatly wrapped up (though with a surprisingly few number of casualties), Dick heads home to a relaxing evening with Tess. But wait! Tess has an idea! But wait, there's more! A possibly far more interesting mysterious figure, shrouded in shadow, with great piercing eyes, is making a call to the police station. Seems that the poor fellow has lost someone, or actually some thing, and he really, really wants it back (oh, and if you could find the guy, that'd be good too, I guess). You can tell that the operator really cares about this potential new case from his glazed over eyes and expression of sheer boredom. Must be a slow day at the station. Too bad he forgot to bring his crossword or Sudoku book today, but at least the phone call means that there's the potential for something interesting to happen.
Back at the Tracy household, all Dick wants to do is take off his tie and relax, maybe have a drink, watch a little TV (I hear there's a good game on tonight). Tess, on the other hand, has been stuck in that darn house since Dick sent her home from the circus with Bonnie (say, what happened to Bonnie anyway?) and she wants to go out on the town, or at least to a concert. Dick doesn't seem to be too keen on that idea and wants to know if it's going to be some of that long hair stuff that the kids are all listening to now, but before Tess can give us an answer, the story switches back to that exciting phone call, where the mysterious figure, who is mysterious no more (well, he still doesn't have a name or anything, but at least he's no longer in the shadows), is describing the person who's gone missing with the even more important missing mystery object. (Oh Tracy, it looks like you'll be seeing some long hair after all.) Maybe we'll even learn what it is one of these days.
Meanwhile, back at the Tracy's, Dick seems in much better spirits now that he's found out that Tess wants to go to the symphony. I mean, what could go wrong at the symphony? What could go wrong indeed. Dick is already taking the initiative, after mentioning Tess's propensity for getting him into cases, and has donned his detective outfit because we all know that this quiet night at the symphony is going to turn into a case faster than you can duh duh duh duuuuuuuh. But back to the phone call, our wild-haired caller who just wants to get his son back (oh, and that thing that his son took with him, and really, if you only find the son, just leave him alone, but if you find the thing, get it back here as soon as possible) isn't too happy with what the operator had to say. Probably something about how difficult it is to find missing persons, or how he has to wait twenty-four hours before his son can be considered a missing person, or how his son being in his twenties means that he can leave the house and go wherever he pleases because he's an adult. I can't wait to see how these two stories will collide (I mean, I think I already know, but I just want to see if I'm right).

I know I've probably said it before.

100 pages to go!

100 pages to go!

(I really hope the ones after it don't need a lot of love too.)

100 pages to go!

No, Bob, that's really not necessary.

Deciding that he doesn't really want to die, and that if he doesn't actually do something, he will, Bob, who thinks he has nothing left to lose but his life, leaps towards a nearby tree, grabs hold of a convenient branch, and swings forward, kicking Ray and Phil (who apparently showed up sometime between these strips) in the face. (Oh, I really hope that he didn't step in anything today, or that he at least had time to clean off his boots if he did.) Fortunately, Bob's lightning attack is all Mark needs to begin his own attack, deciding to take all of his frustrations out on Ray while Bob concentrates on Phil (who really hasn't done much this entire story). Looks like the attempted murder of Sassy was just too much for Bob and he's decided to turn his back on Ray and Phil for good. What boggles my mind is that Ray seems confused by the fact that Bob is attacking him. (Dude, you just told him you were going to cut him out of the deal and probably kill him. Why wouldn't he attack you?) The good thing about this strip, though, is that it shows us that both Mark and Bob seem to be in relatively good physical condition as they're able to carry on a conversation while fighting their foes without so much as an indication of labored breath or gasp for air. (Looks like someone took the President's Physical Fitness Challenge seriously. Next up: the dreaded pull ups. Good luck guys! I know you can do it!)
Their foes vanquished, Mark grabs Ray's gun and while he has no intention of firing it, it does make him look awfully impressive and is a good deterrent for any further attacks. The gun, however, seems to be beside itself and can't believe that Ray would have ever thought of firing it at an innocent child or his puppy. Now that the fighting is over, though, Bob decides that it's finally time to get this whole poaching thing off of his chest, which can only mean that it's time for a recap. (Oh goody. I can hardly wait. How many strips is this one going to take?)

See you at the reunion.

Words cannot describe the heroics and danger related to the rescue of puppy in peril Sassy, and so they have not been included. Instead, you must rely on the following: as the alligator lunges forward, Sassy wisely tucks in her tail (remembering from nature shows and alligator safety videos that the puppy tail is one way that an alligator can drag you to a watery death) and stares in horror at all of those teeth (all of those dirty, dirty teeth that have never known the good that a thorough cleaning by a toothbrush or little bird can do). Before she can be taken by the jaws of death (seriously, I don't think she'd survive that first bite), Mark leaps into action, grabbing the nearest log he can find, giving the alligator a good, hard shot to the mouth while Bob takes the initiative and scoops up the helpless puppy. Hurrah! The day is saved! Hurrah!
Or maybe not. Seeing the plan fall apart, Ray takes drastic measures and steps out of the surrounding foliage, gun at the ready (see, he isn't afraid to kill puppies or have little children witness the gruesome deaths of their adoptive fathers). With the appearance of Ray, the pieces finally fall into place and Mark realizes that Bob has been in cahoots with the poachers all along, and for the first time in his life, Bob actually admits the truth, but it's a little too late for Ray, who decides to cut Bob out of the operation once and for all. (I guess he was sick of carrying him and giving him a cut of the profits when all he did was whine and complain and refuse to grow a pair of awesome sideburns.) Things don't look good. Mark has apparently lost that log he'd been holding and Rusty, Sassy, and Bob are pretty much useless in situations like this. The only one possibly enjoying this is that random swamp bird (which might by a heron) that's high-tailing it out of there. Could it be heading to the court of the Avian Empire to bring news of Mark's imminent demise to its deranged leader the Cuckoo?

It's all over but the clang of the prison doors as they slam shut.

In case you missed it (or wandered away for a while and just remembered that at one point in time you had been reading a Dick Tracy comic about a circus), Tracy briefly recaps everything that happened, from the untimely death of Louise Trapeze by Barb Els to the attempted murder of Tracy and Agent Ennen by Mr. Pops to the ultimate goal of the perpetrators of this caper: to get their hands on the circus. Guys, wouldn't it have been easier to just start your own circus? Perhaps the cost of tents and equipment was holding them back, or maybe the thought of a circus without Cyber was just too much for Barb to handle. Whatever the case, those two aren't going to be taking part in any kind of circus for a long, long time (unless the prison decides not to put on a rodeo and opts for a circus this year).
Everything neatly wrapped up, Tracy tells Random Policeman to take the fiends away, and it is only after the two criminals have been carted away to the pokey that he turns his attention to Ringo, who forgot to read the rule book he was given at the beginning on his stint in the Witness Protection Program, and it looks like committing crimes while being hidden from those in the criminal world just isn't part of the game plan. Looks like someone's heading for solitary confinement (or maybe marooning on an isolated, uninhabited island where he can't fall back on his old ways), and thus dies the little boy's dream of being the ringmaster of a circus. You had it all, my friend, but you got greedy and now you don't have anything. Well, I guess that's it. Another case comes to an end. Granted, there was a lot less shooting and death than we've seen in previous cases, but an ending is an ending...I guess.

If I had to choose...

I'd pick Bunnicula.

(At least he's really a vegetarian, so he isn't lying to himself and the world. That, and he's awfully cute.)

The sharpest thing in the world

is the cardboard tag on a pair of jeans.

(At least it was tonight. Ow.)

How disappointing.

You've failed me again iTunes.

All I want is "Do You Want To Know A Secret" by the Beatles.

All you're giving me is other artists and cover bands.

That is not what I want and this is not the first time you've failed me.

Try not to let it happen again.

There's a sale at Penney's!

Ray or Phil try to shoot the alligator before it can make a meal of Sassy. (Mind you, they're not doing it because of any second thoughts or regrets. They just don't want to have to do the clean up after the inevitable attack, and they want to be able to use the dog again, preferably while it's still in some sort of pristine condition.) Of course, now that it actually counts, they can't hit the broad side of a barn, but lucky for Bob, the shot gave him the chance to escape and he immediately runs to the aid of the poor little puppy. Now we just have to wait and see what Ray and Phil will do next. Will they take another shot at the alligator, or will they take a shot at Bob, getting rid of him once and for all because even they have grown tired of his constant waffling and whining?
As Bob dashes forward, Mark and Rusty break through the dense foliage (thank you, Space Quest II) and immediately see the little dog in peril and the big hungry alligator who's feeling a little peckish and was unable to find some frogs to munch on ready to take a bite. Rusty, frozen by fear, can do nothing but yell out what he sees. Let's hope that Mark isn't in a similar state (and that an alligator can be subdued by being punched in the face by an intrepid outdoorsman) or this strip is about to become very, very sad.

Silencio, por favor.

Bob, unable to live with the fact that he's about to watch a sweet, innocent little puppy be torn apart by an alligator, works up the courage to stand up to Ray and leaps into action. Unfortunately, he forgot about Phil, who immediately catches him in a headlock. (Looks like someone's been really working on his wrestling moves. Good for him.) Now all he can do is cry, cry, cry. Yeah Bob, this get rich quick by poaching a few alligators scheme is really working out well for you, isn't it? (And you just know that Ray and Phil are going to make him tell Rusty what happened to poor Sassy if she does end up being alligator chow.) Where oh where are Mark and Rusty? The poor little puppy doesn't have much time left.
Apparently, Mark and Rusty were still in dreamland (or at least Rusty was), and it was only when Rusty wasn't awakened by a wet nose, slobbery dog kisses, or puppy breath that he finally realized something was wrong. (He was even more sure when he found Sassy's little sleeping bag cold and empty.) Running out into the swamp, still buttoning his shirt, Rusty tells Mark that his little friend has disappeared. Mark, being the intrepid outdoorsman and father figure that he is, decides that she couldn't have gone too far and that they'd set out to find her immediately. Rusty apparently doesn't share Mark's positive attitude and immediately thinks up the worst possible conclusion to this situation. (Perhaps he has some kind of ESP.) Whatever either of them thinks, they'd better get moving. There's gators out there in that there swamp and I haven't seen any frogs lately, so they might have a hankering for puppies now.
Dressed and deciding to forgo breakfast, if only for the moment, Rusty and Mark head out into the swamp in search of the wayward puppy. Hurry up fellows, it looks like someone's found her first and she's going to bark her little head off to try to keep that alligator away. Unfortunately, any chance that her cries might be heard are being drowned out by Rusty's calls. Fortunately, Mark has enough common sense to tell him to be quiet for a minute. After all, how can she respond when he doesn't give her any time to? I sure hope that they're somewhere near to where she's tied up. Otherwise, they could stumble upon a scene that would scar Rusty for life and maybe turn him off of fishing, camping, and photography. (Oh yeah, and Mark would probably feel pretty bad, too.)

Aaaaaaaw!

As Barb Els distracts Cyber the Tiger (and possibly gets eaten for all anyone knows until they see that last panel), Tracy leaps into action, grabs Mr. Pops, and here things get a little iffy. Tracy, why are you dragging the nefarious clown towards the side of the cage he was already retreating towards? Need I remind you that that side of the cage has no door? Are you dragging him over to the mysterious panther that we will probably never see again? You do understand that you could get in a lot of trouble doing that, don't you? Oh, you're just dragging him around the side of the cage in order to avoid Cyber completely? Okay. I guess that's all right. Just make sure you take his gun. Speaking of Cyber, isn't he just the cutest little tiger in the whole wide world (and doesn't he also sort of remind you of Prince John from Disney's Robin Hood)? Yes. Yes he is. (Still, if I were Mr. Pops, I'd get out of that cage as fast as I could because even now, Barb is reconsidering this whole saving Mr. Pops's life and helping Cyber avoid indigestion thing.)

With Mr. Pops now safe and ready to be carted off to jail, it's time to get to the bottom of this case, which means guns, guns, guns. (Oh my, so many guns.) Now, I know that Tracy's holding one, but who do the other two belong to? Is Random Policeman there, or is Tracy just waving his firearm wildly about in order to keep the people who might all soon be heading to jail in line? At least it looks like he's been paying attention as he quickly runs down the reasons why each of these three suspects could soon be wearing jumpsuits and sitting in little concrete cells, but what of the others?

Lo and behold, here they are. It would seem that Della and Fee Fi are the only two honest folk at this circus (or at least the only two wise enough to keep their criminal and work lives separate). Della, she's going to be okay, but poor Fee Fi there, it looks like he might have taken a little tumble off of that tiger cage seeing as how he was shot in the shoulder and now has his head bandaged up and might or might not be receiving some sort of transfusion. On second thought, what is going to happen to Della and Fee Fi? I mean, if a good chunk of the people who put on the circus are going to jail, then who's going to run the circus? Who's going to pay the performers who are still free? Who's going to help Fee Fi pay those medical bills? Who's going to feed Cyber? Is Dick Tracy about to find himself owning a circus? (I'm not sure that the world is really ready for that.) Only time will tell.

My god, she'll be killed!

Tracy, already convinced that the only way to save Mr. Pops is to kill the tiger, is about to order Random Policeman (Hey, don't blame me. That's the name on the birth certificate.) to bring the big cat down (though I'd probably take care of the panther that has just reappeared first) when there's a resounding "No!" from the peanut gallery of assembled circus folk that serves not only to throw him out of sorts, but also messes up his hair. (Wait, Tracy, do we even want to save Mr. Pops? I mean, he's done an awful lot of bad things and he tried to kill you and Agent Ennen, and besides...what? Oh, oh yeah, we're supposed to be on the side of righteousness and good and stuff, so I guess he has to survive, doesn't he?) Out of the shadows steps Barb Els, known killer of Louise Trapeze, to save the lives of the tiger (or the tiger and the panther) and the hapless Mr. Pops. Now, on the outside, it might seem like she wants to save Mr. Pops, but really, I think the real reason is that she knows clowns are high in fat, cholesterol, and unhealthy oils, so if the tiger were to eat him, the poor kitty would end up with a bad case of indigestion and nobody wants to see that.

Barb's plea for the tiger's life throws everyone out of sorts and while they're still stunned, she enters the cage, and it is here that we finally learn the tiger's name is actually Cyber (I'm not sure how circus-related or punny that name is, but for the moment I'm willing to go with it), and he's her friend, so you know, he couldn't possibly turn on her. Tracy snaps out of it thanks to a little pomade and tells Random Policeman to call for the paramedics, a little more backup (which he'll probably find in the Hall of Mirrors or at the Shooting Range or at Skee Ball), and oh yeah, someone should get Fee Fi down from the top of the tiger cage because he's probably bleeding all over poor Cyber and that's not helping to soothe the savage beast. Of course, Tracy's not going to actually go into the cage himself. Nope. He's spent enough time in there already, and besides, I'm sure that Barb knows what she's doing.

But it's just so hard to do!

I have come to the conclusion that the concepts of folding and putting clothes on hangers are just too complicated for most people.

Sorry, but those are the facts.

Prove me wrong world, prove me wrong.

(It is very possible that I may have said this before, but it's still true, so, so there!)

Behold, the mighty snow pea.

It's nature's french fry.

Yum.

How about a long walk off a short pier?

I am getting so sick of death.

Death can take a hike.

It's just too early.

They've started working in the Christmas music.

It's only the beginning of November.

Come on people.

Is it really necessary?

Is that kind of depressing song really necessary?

What research tells you that that will make people shop more?

Don't make me hate the Christmas songs.

Please?

What's the matter, Ray? Couldn't find any raccoons?

Sassy, on the hunt for the makers of the strange swamp sounds, stumbles upon the poachers (big surprise there), and right off the bat, old Ray (who has decided that he really does look better with a hat on) decides that the poor puppy would make the perfect bait for the alligators (even bigger surprise there). Bob, of course, instantly recognizes Sassy as belonging to Mark and Rusty, and since he's now friends with them, doesn't think that feeding their dog to an alligator is such a good idea. (Of course, he's not really going to do anything about it, but at least now he can tell Mark and Rusty that he tried to save Sassy.)
Before you can say corn or beans, Ray catches the hapless puppy (even though that picture actually looks like the puppy ran to him and that he and said puppy are just enjoying a little time at the dog park instead of the swamp) and quickly decides that Sassy won't just help them catch one alligator. No, she'll get them a whole mess of alligators. (Oh dear. This could get messy. Avert your eyes, children, avert your eyes.) Bob, hearing Ray's new plan, and fearing that he'll have to be the one to clean up afterwards, again voices his objection to the plan, but as you can clearly see, even Sassy doesn't think his words will do any good. Things aren't looking too good here. We can only hope that Mark or Rusty have discovered Sassy's disappearance and gone looking for her. (If not, we're all going to be very, very sad.)

Wheeeeeeeeeee! Uh-oh!

Mr. Pops, climbing up the side of the tiger cage to what he thought was safety has discovered too late that he was actually climbing into a trap, for waiting up above was Fee Fi. Wait a minute. I thought Fee Fi was on the ground. Yeah, he held the tiger back so that Della Contessa (who actually was on top of the cage, unlike our giant friend who's there now) could lower the trapeze down so that Tracy and Agent Ennen could be pulled to safety. What is Fee Fi even doing up there? Taking a smoke break? Eating his lunch? Lowering steaks down to the tiger? Fishing for tigers? What are you doing up there man? Oh well, I guess it really doesn't matter. What really matters is that Mr. Pops is still packing heat and ready to live up to his name. (I only hope that Fee Fi can complete that wrestling move he seems to be trying on the nefarious clown before said clown pumps him full of lead.)
Before Fee Fi can complete the move, Mr. Pops pulls the trigger (and seems to have given him the patented Cartwright shot to the shoulder, so he should pull through just fine). Now, he might have thought that shooting the giant who was going to throw him into the cage, or break his back, or whatever he was planning to do, was a good idea, but therein lies the problem. You see, Mr. Pops, what you did is equivalent to the hero telling the villain to let go of the girl while said villain is standing next to a cliff. Sure, the villain will let the girl go, but since the hero was not too specific about where, the poor girl is going over the edge of the cliff. Perhaps you should have thought about that before you shot the guy holding you over the tiger cage. That way, you might not have been dropped into the tiger cage. (It's very likely that you would have ended up there eventually, but what an adventure that would have been.) Oh well. I hope you have a steak in your pocket because the tiger already missed out on one meal today and I don't think he's going to let that happen a second time. (Plus there's still the unresolved issue of the mysterious panther.)

Them's climbin' words!

Mr. Pops, safe and secure with the faulty knowledge that Tracy and Agent Ennen are now tiger chow, leads the police into the big top. Unfortunately for him, instead of a well-fed, drowsy tiger, they find two irate law enforcement professionals (which he should be very, very worried about considering the fact that one of those professionals tends to end his cases with a trip to the morgue to identify the evil doer he just put a bullet in). Seeing that his plan apparently fell through (and learning the very valuable lesson of not to trust a tiger unless said tiger is big and white and happens to be able to on occasion form its own armor), and that he's probably going to have to answer a lot of uncomfortable questions later at the police station, Mr. Pops takes off (or up, after deciding that ducking under the tent and escaping into the night just isn't good enough), and climbs to the top of the tiger cage, where he doesn't seem to be alone. I think I can see where this one's going, but I'll try to act surprised.

Huh?

The words to the song I am listening to are either "don't give in" or "donkey man."

I am inclined to go with the former because the latter doesn't really fit with the rest of the song.

However, I could be wrong.

R.I.P.

In loving memory of George Jimmy Christmas Pockets Coon.

He was a sour-faced dandy with spindly limbs and a dream, and he will be missed.