Someday...

Someday I will reach the point where I can put this story away and work on the next one.

Someday, but not today.

(But I am getting closer.)

Nope. Never did.

I never went through an Ultimate Frisbee phase.

(And yet I'm still alive.)

More wisdom from among the shelves at Borders.

A state is not a country.

It's a...a state.

The burning question of a young boy at Borders:

"Are Scottish people real?"

(Why yes, they are. Otherwise there'd be quite a gap in my family tree.)

Never send a man to do a dog's job.

After dropping Joey off at the hospital, and having a heart to heart with Sarah about Joey, the man, his problems, and his shooter, Mark heads back to Lost Forest and the pile of barrels that are apparently in a ravine. (Yeah, not really buying that one since it looks more like the side of a mountain/hill than it does a ravine, but hey, whatever.) Immediately seeing that this case is too much for one man working alone, Mark (after consulting with the Jack Elrod Ball) decides that it's finally time to bring in Andy and start cracking the case. (I guess no one spotted the column of black smoke or smelled the burning car, or maybe they just chose to ignore it because if they called the police, then the police might stumble upon other things, and that would just lead to more troubles and headaches.) We can only assume that old Elmer is still wandering about the forest, now hopelessly lost, and that he'll stumble upon Mark's trail and play himself off as a lost hunter in an attempt to not be caught. (He'd better hope that Rusty isn't there with a camera. If he is, he's doomed.)

This is why they'll never find Waldo.

Just when the police thought they were going to have a break from Tracy's shenanigans, he gets dragged to the circus and plunges head first into yet another case as the poor trapeze artist hits the ground and even the tent can't seem to bear to watch. (I'm not sure how it can see without eyes, but I suppose if the accident is bad enough it just knows.) Tess, wanting to look away, but unable to, says what we're all thinking. Bonnie, meanwhile, seems to have disappeared, leaving me to believe that the whole scene was a bit too much for her and she fainted and fell below the stands into a sticky nest of cotton candy, empty drink cups, and leftover nacho cheese (but I'm sure that she'll be all right and good as new the next time we see her). Tracy, used to being in the middle of all sorts of crazy things knows just what to do and jumps to his feet, for now is not the time for shock. Now is the time for action! (And perhaps a little gunfire.)
With Louise Trapeze (yes, that is her real name) lying unconscious (and probably dead) in the center ring, the circus is thrown into chaos. Yet Dick Tracy thrives in chaos and so our intrepid gumshoe leaps into action. (He's probably just happy that this means the circus is over.) He immediately jumps over the victim, heads directly to Ringo, and flashes his badge, while Ringo seems to only be able to say "It happened!" What is this "it" and why did it have to happen (and why hasn't anyone checked the poor woman lying on the ground for vital signs. After all, she might not be dead. She might just be really, really hurt.)? Only time will tell. (I wonder if Tracy will get free popcorn, cotton candy, or circus peanuts while he works the case.)

Two and a half hours later

There were no weeds in the garden.

(There were some beans, though.)

Never trust a clown with a gun.

Turning away from Dick "I don't want to be here and will therefore make it my mission to make you all miserable" Tracy, the comic refocuses its attention on Ringo (the ringmaster) and Mr. Pops (the clown, of course). It would seem that Ringo is starting to regret whatever is about to happen, but since the wheels are already in motion, the money has already been paid, and Mr. Pops has already gussied up his firearm, it's too late to just shrug and say, "On second thought, let's forget this and go get some cotton candy." Nope, this is more like dominos. Once you tip over the first piece, the best thing you can do is just sit back and watch the pieces fall where they may. (Good thing that this circus apparently incorporates gunfire into its shows. Otherwise, Mr. Pops would look really suspicious holding that shotgun, fancy wrappings or not.)
And with that, Tracy's long weekend comes to an abrupt end (It was a good half hour while it lasted, wasn't it?), but on the plus side, he now seems quite a bit more interested in the goings on at the circus, though if I had one word of advice to pass on, it would be this: if you're working in a potentially dangerous environment (or any environment, really) and you see Tracy or any of his family walk into your place of business, it might be a good idea to just take the day off. You never know, it might just save your life. (I swear, it's almost as bad as being anywhere near the cast of Baywatch because you know that if you see them, you're in for trouble, even if all you wanted to do was buy a snow cone or take a flight to visit your relatives.) Too bad that all it took for him to get interested was for a young woman to die. (Probably. She might survive, but considering that this is a Dick Tracy comic, she's only got about a 50/50 chance, and I'm afraid that's being pretty generous.)

Then you're in the right place, my friend.

After spinning his wheels, using up most of the gas in the tank, and burying the car deeper in the ditch, Elmer finally gives up. (Wait a minute. A ditch? That's not a ditch. That doesn't even come close to looking like a ditch. It looks more like he got his car stuck in the mud. What do you think? Does it look like, as Merriam-Webster says, "a long narrow excavation dug in the earth (as for drainage)"? I don't. I think it looks like "it rained last night, the road turned to mud, Elmer backed into the mud, and now his car is stuck" to me. Oh well. Maybe it's a magic ditch. A magic, invisible ditch.) Moving on, our brilliant criminal suddenly realizes that his prints are now all over the car because he forgot to wear gloves (and just in case there weren't any prints on the trunk, he makes sure to put some there too), so the only logical thing to do is set the car on fire. (Yeah, no one will notice the column of black smoke rising up from the forest. No one at all...except the Jack Elrod Ball, who has just witnessed everything.) The car aflame, Elmer decides to get lost in Lost Forest, meaning that it's very likely that he'll really get lost and end up wandering over to the Trail's cabin since he left the map in the car. Oh Elmer, will you never learn?

You can find anything on the Internet...except this.

There is a song in my head.

There is a song in my head from a television show.

There is a song in my head from a television show that I once had on tape.

There is a song in my head from a television show that I once had on tape that has not been put out on DVD and probably will never be.

I do not even know the name of the song.

But I remember it.

Oh yes, I do.

And I believe that it came from the PBS show Long Ago And Far Away.

It was either claymation or shadow puppetry because I remember the characters and setting only being black profiles against an orange, sunset-like screen.

I seem to recall that it was about a mouse that was being kept up at night by a group of singing crickets, and that when the mouse would plead for them not to sing anymore, the lead cricket would think that he was asking for more and they would launch into another verse of the song.

I loved the song, even when it was stuck in my head.

I have searched for this song.

I know that at one time I had it taped, but that tape died long ago and far away.

I have looked for the song everywhere and it is nowhere.

I am starting to believe that the song was only in my head, but I know that it wasn't.

I wonder if I'm the only one who remembers it.

If I am, that's a shame.

Therefore, I will now share the part I remember with you, keeping in mind that the words might not all be correct seeing as how I last heard/saw it about fifteen or so years ago:

Oh one day I cut my finger when I was slicing birthday cake.

The doctor said that it was serious,

Said he was gonna amputate.

There's no need to be so drastic,

And don't be so bombastic.

Life alone is so fantastic,

Just sit back and watch the show.

Someday I will hear it again.

Someday I will see it again.

Someday I will know all of the words.

Someday, but not today.

It's the artificial flavoring.

Dragged to the circus, Tracy is doing his best to make it a miserable experience, and Tess and Bonnie are doing their best to ignore him and take in all of the sights. The first panel shows us several things. One is that someone decided to bring their bird bath with them for who knows what reason. Another is that not only is there a clown, but there also appears to be a man walking the plank high above the crowd. (We can only hope that he's about to fall into some water or cotton candy or a net or something that won't traumatize all of the little children now begging their parents for those glow wands and stuffed animals that are always sold at the circus.) Moving on to panel two, the trapeze artists have taken to air to amaze and astound with feats of derring-do while Tracy continues to be a wet blanket, choosing to focus on the over-priced popcorn (and probably running through an endless list of things he could be doing instead of being there). Still, as much as I enjoy listening to him complain about each and every little thing, panel three gives me hope that things are about to change. Maybe it's just me, but doesn't it look like that shadowy woman, who I can only assume is the trapeze artist from panel two, is plummeting to her death because the guy in the unitard missed catching her? Better start paying attention, Tracy, things could be about to get a lot more interesting.

Rule #1 for successfully escaping the scene of a crime: Keep your car on the road.

As Mark rushes Joey to the hospital, the would-be killer tries to escape without being seen. This should be a big clue that he isn't very bright because not only did he not succeed in killing Joey (at least not yet, anyway), but he was fleeing an area where, as far as we know, the only two people who were there are now racing away in a Jeep, heading for the hospital, and not looking for the shooter. Really, Elmer (and I'm going to keep calling him that until he's given a name), you could have just taken a leisurely stroll back to your car, taken a moment to disassemble and clean your gun, reassemble your gun, get into the car, turn it on, change the radio station, and then use your mirrors in order to successfully back up and calmly drive away. (Though really, he can't be that smart considering he didn't position his car so that he could just drive away instead of having to back up.) In fact, the only one that seems to have seen you do anything at all is that squirrel. Though, I suppose he could have called in that rampaging moose from an earlier storyline, so maybe you were right in trying to flee the area (but I don't think so). Now you've gotten yourself into even more trouble because not only are you stuck, but there is no doubt in my mind that word is spreading through Lost Forest about your attempted murder and any and all woodland creatures looking for revenge or some fresh meat are on their way. If you can't get that car out soon, I suggest you start running.

(As a side note: for all of the stupidity of Elmer and what he should or shouldn't have done, I do like the fact that it looks like the back wheel of his car is the one yelling, "I'M STUCK!" Perhaps it's a Transformer, a GoBot, a distant relative of KITT, a car possessed by a spirit, or some kind of artificial intelligence that's only moments away from turning on its master. It's probably none of the above, but I can dream, can't I?)

This one gives Star Wars a run for its money.

Synopsis for David Blaine: Frozen in Time television special:

"Kevin Spacey, Michael J. Fox and Lenny Kravitz make appearances as the scruffy magic man attempts to freeze himself within a block of ice."

(While do like the "scruffy magic man" part a lot, I must admit that I still like the Star Wars one better. That "a youth and a space jockey" gets me every time.)

Yeah, that's just how I want to spend my day off.

Getting home, Tracy is met by Bonnie Braids (guess which one she is), who has announced that the entire family is going to spend the day at the circus (because Dick really looks like the type of guy who likes to go to the circus). But wait, this circus might not be on the up and up. Looks like Tracy's break is about to turn into another case. (Jeez, can't the guy catch a break?) I'm just wondering why Beaker is there though. Shouldn't he be helping Dr. Bunsen Honeydew in the lab?

Tracy doesn't appear to be too keen about this whole day at the circus idea of Bonnie's. Perhaps it's because he just finished dealing with a bunch of costumed crazies and was looking forward to a nice relaxing day at home (and maybe a game of bridge or trip to the shooting range a little later), or perhaps it's because he caught a glimpse of the previous comic and saw that those circus performers seem to be up to something. (Plus, he probably wanted to be around people with mostly normal names and not necessarily those with names that are nothing but puns on what they are or do. I'm not counting Bonnie since all you have to do is cut off the last part of her name and she seems perfectly normal.) Better get ready to fight some crime, Tracy, since it looks like you're not going to get out of this one.

Tonight's forecast: mostly clear skies with a chance of letters late in the day.

Seeing that Joey is a bigger threat than Mark, and considering that Mark has never seen the shadowy figures responsible for dumping the barrels, Elmer aims at Joey and takes his shot. Unfortunately he brought the wrong gun and instead of shooting bullets, he hits Joey with a WHAM. (Joey should consider himself lucky that the gun wasn't loaded with the cartridges that have exclamation points.) Too far away to get to Joey before he hits the ground (and because he isn't sure whether the shooter has any more words loaded in that gun of his), Mark throws the Jack Elrod Ball in order to try and cushion Joey's fall in an effort to protect the helpless blades of grass and foliage he's about to crush.
Arriving just in time, the Jack Elrod Ball keeps Joey from doing too much damage to the plants by bouncing him off to the side. This gives Elmer another chance to shoot, and unfortunately Joey takes the full brunt of this second wave of letters. Thinking that it's now safe, Mark runs to Joey's side to see what he can do. Joey passes out soon after, overcome by the thought of having to clean the ink stain from his shirt after the POW caused the pen in his pocket to explode, leaving Mark to lug him back to the Jeep. Hopefully it will still be there and hopefully it won't have been rigged with explosives. Otherwise, it could be a pretty long walk back to civilization.

Maybe it was another Detroit.

Because I know for a fact that you couldn't see Lake Michigan from any part of the city since the lake in question is on the other side of the state.

It was a dark and stormy night...

Why do we say "thunder and lightning" when lightning comes first?

Is it because we tend to hear before we see?

Or is it because it just sounds better that way?

Be vewy, vewy quiet.

Mark takes Joey to the location of the barrels and after seeing the evidence, there's really no way he can deny that they don't belong to the William's Chemical Company. Still, Joey's not willing to just roll over and take whatever punishment is coming to him. No, he's still got another card to play, though if I were him, I'd be careful. The Avians are clearly setting their own plan into motion and the appearance of those buzzards (at least I think they're buzzards) can only mean that whatever they've got planned is going to require a little cleanup. We'll just have to see how it all plays out and how that shaky truce they have with Mark holds up. Be careful Mark. While I still don't really trust the Avians, I at least trust them more than Joey. I have a feeling that the only reason he's so willing to tell Mark the real story of how and why those barrels are there is because he knows his orange clad accomplice is hiding in the bushes, waiting to take his shot. (I hadn't expected the bad guys to obey the hunting laws and actually wear hunter orange to take Mark out, but then again, I don't think that it's hunting season, and I don't think that people are allowed to hunt in Lost Forest, so they aren't exactly following the letter of the law.) I sure hope Mark decided to wear his bullet proof vest today.

Ghost Man on second.

Ah, Wiffle Ball. The baseball game sprinkled with imagination and danger that you could play in the backyard without the risk of breaking a window. Of course, the danger element could have been confined to the kind of Wiffle Ball that I played with my brother seeing as how the bases, aside from home (which was just a worn down spot in the yard where grass wouldn't grow), were either rocks or old wheels from what I believe was an old lawn mower, though I could be wrong. There was nothing like the excitement of hitting the ball and then running as fast as you could towards that first base, only to slam on the brakes to avoid actually running into the base and doing untold damage to your bare feet. (Oh yes, you had to play in bare feet. After all, home plate had a tendency to be either mud or a puddle whenever a game was being played and you couldn't mess up your shoes.) The challenge was seeing how far you could get, though the progress usually stopped at first, and then you went back to bat, a Ghost Man taking your place. (What? You didn't have Ghost Men? What, were you playing a game with more than two people?) Said Ghost Man would then move however many bases you managed to get to after hitting the ball again because saying that they were stealing bases or taking more than one would be cheating. But wait, there's more! For along with the dangerous bases and Ghost Men, there was also the time honored tradition of stuffing the ball with usually wet grass. (What can I say? We had the really good Wiffle Balls that only had the little line holes at the top and not the ones with holes all the way around, and since one of those little plastic lines was usually broken, it was easy to get the grass in there.) Not only would this give the ball a little more weight, but if you hit it right, it would also spray some water as it flew through the air, making it even more challenging to catch. Add to that the fact that we also had the bats that actually looked like bats and not like oversized plastic clubs, so you could really hit the ball and not worry about breaking or denting the bat in the process (not that those bats didn't have dents in them, but it was a lot harder to do, and if you decided to abandon the game in favor of a sword fight, they could easily make the transition) and you were in for a lot of fun. You know, I really miss playing Wiffle Ball. Anyone up for a game?

Will there be a centrifuge or a puppy?

When I heard there was a G-Force movie coming out, I got excited.

Then I found out that it was actually about guinea pigs.

Oh well. Maybe next time.

You know her. Nice girl. Wears braids. I think you're related.

After not setting foot in the police station for the last couple of stories and working cases mainly on his own (and it would seem cases not really known to exist by anyone at the station), the Chief suggests that Tracy just take the rest of the week off since all of that freelancing has made him pretty tired (and it would appear that during the last story he got the end of his nose chopped off, but I'm sure it'll grow back). Now, I could say that the Chief was doing it out of the goodness of her heart because with Tracy out there fighting crime, there was more time for the rest of the force to take part in the Annual Paper Football Tournament, but I think she just wanted to be rid of him for a little while while they all worked on another case. (What case would that be, you ask? Why, I would think it would be obvious from the poster, but the rest of the station is clearly working to take down the nefarious Waldo, and once they find out where he is, they'll bring him in for questioning, and since most of Tracy's nemeses tend to wind up dead, getting him to take a little time off was the only logical step to take.)

Tracy looks pretty happy about his long weekend, but it would appear there's a fly in the ointment as Tess has just received a call from Bonnie Braids, a.k.a. the Tracy's daughter. (Oh yes, I did a little research for that tidbit of information.) From the way Tess is talking to her, I think that mother and daughter might have had some kind of falling out, but I could be wrong. (On the plus side, Tess has discovered that even afflicted with T-Rex Arms she is still able to use the phone.) I guess it will all depend on what Bonnie's idea is, and at the rate the strip moves, we should find out sometime next week (or next month). Oh, the suspense!

A new player enters the game.

Fast forward to the next day and Mark (who of course only drank juice or milk yesterday and therefore was not susceptible to the consequences of imbibing too much alcohol) meets Joey at an undisclosed location to go look at those barrels. Joey is quick to offer the services of his Jeep (even though the vehicle in the first panel doesn't really look like a Jeep) and an unwitting Mark accepts. Bad idea, my friend. I would have offered to drive my own vehicle that only I could start and I would have also hidden a spare set of keys somewhere in case Joey tried to take the vehicle and angrily threw the keys away when he couldn't get it started. Their plan made, the two quickly leave civilization behind and head out into Lost Forest where we are treated to the wonder that is panel two.

Panel two is interesting in that it would seem that contrary to my belief, Joey is not under the control of the Avians and is in fact working with an entirely different group of shadowy figures. The panel also shows us that at least in matters concerning the environment, some members of the Avian Empire are willing to put their differences aside and join Mark. (I would call it a fragile truce. Of course, it would also seem that they had little choice in the matter since what's in those barrels probably kills indiscriminately, and if it harms the environment, where will the Avians live and how will they be able to stay close and monitor Mark's activities?) They also seem to have lawyered up since we last saw them, something that I personally would have liked to have seen play out, men and women in suits conversing with sparrows, hawks, and pigeons, writing up contracts, and later celebrating with a little seed. But this alliance is not the only thing revealed in panel two, for it also introduces us to a group that has up until now remained silent, choosing to watch the action rather than step in and join it. I am of course talking about the Plant Kingdom. It would seem that the grass at least has had it up to here with people walking on it, driving on it, pulling it out of the warm earth, and dumping barrels on it, depriving it of sunlight and causing it to grow sickly. It would seem that this outburst indicates that the Plants are on Mark's side, which I consider to be a good thing seeing as how Mark lives in a forest surrounded by trees and grass and flowers and all manner of growing plant life. It is as yet unclear how the Plant Kingdom and Avian Empire view each other, but it would seem that, in this story at least, the different factions are willing to put their differences aside in favor of the greater good. We'll just have wait and see how long it lasts.

Round and round we go.

I am learning more about vinyl/lp pricing than I ever wanted to know.

(I am also going to have to learn where to find the prices of albums that don't seem to exist.)

And later we can check out the abandoned amusement park and the haunted roller disco.

The phone call continues, and Joey gives up any and all hope of gaining some sort of an advantage or semblance of power from those he's taking orders from. Yeah Joey, I guess it's just easier to roll over than it is to fight (but maybe you should have talked to your sister about this first, unless she's in on it too and trying to use her feminine wiles to distract Mark and lure him into whatever trap is about to be prepared). And just in case we couldn't figure out what the mysterious, jagged, canary yellow balloon was talking about, panel two gives us a pretty good idea that Mark will be walking into a trap designed to take his life, or at least silence him on the matter of those barrels. (Unless, of course, Mark is the owl and the fiends are the mouse. Then they should be the ones who are afraid.)
The dance over and the phone call wrapped up, Joey finally shows up at the restaurant. He sure doesn't beat around the bush, does he? Skipping past the formalities and boldly suggesting that Mark and he go take a look at those barrels. Possibly suspicious, Mark tries to dig a little deeper and collect some more information, but Joey falls back on the "it's the economy" (probably said while shrugging) line and Mark lets the subject drop (an action he'll probably regret in the very near future). Meanwhile, the geese are on the move. (After all, someone has to set up the trap, and we all know that they can't depend on Joey.)

Well, are you?

I love coincidences.

Last night while I was watching Back To The Future Part II, the moment after Griff asked Marty if he was chicken, the timer in the kitchen went off, indicating that the chicken cooking in the oven was finished. I'm not sure how to interpret that one, but what I do know is that while Marty may not be chicken, my dinner sure was.

It also reminded me of the time I was watching Star Wars Episode III: Revenge Of The Sith, where the moment Padme fell to the ground after being choked by Anakin the bell on the toaster dinged, indicating that not only was the toast done, but so was Padme.

I love these little coincidences. They make me smile and I can't wait for the next one to happen.

Didn't your mother tell you it's not polite to grab?

Watching The Today Show last week (at least, I think it was last week, but it might have been the week before because these past couple of weeks have just been something that I will not talk about here), when Matt and Meredith were interviewing Steven Raichlen as he grilled some steaks and mussels, I couldn't help but notice how often they interrupted him, how grabby they were, and how they both almost got themselves injured because of it. I don't know, maybe they're always like that around their guests who cook, but I don't think so. I have to say, Steven acted with a lot of class and grace in the face of all of that (and if they hadn't kept interrupting, he would have surely had time to get to the sweet potatoes, all the while telling a fascinating story about his travels on The World Barbecue Trail), but I would have expected nothing less from the host of The Primal Grill. (Which is a great show, and if you've never seen it I recommend you rectify that situation immediately.)

(Don't mess with The Grill Master.)

You know times are tough when saving the world is not enough.

Case in point: Optimus Prime is now selling Coors Light.

(Leaving us all to wonder what happens to it when he transforms and his trailer mysteriously vanishes.)

Excuse me, but I believe he's married.

After telling her brother about their meeting/dinner date with Mark, and trying once more to get the truth out of Joey, who suggested that instead of going to the authorities it might be easier to just sic Mark on the nefarious ne'erdowells (gee, that sounds familiar...), Sarah gets all gussied up and heads over to the swingin'est club in town. Now, I might not have a lot of experience going to business meetings, but last time I checked, they didn't involve big band music, fancy duds, and fancier restaurants. Of course, if you take what Sarah is saying as an indication that she's begun stalking Mark (instead of concluding that she merely conducted a harmless fact finding mission to get to know the man she'll be talking about hazardous waste with over this dinner that is obviously a meeting and not a date), then I think maybe Cherry should cut out of that PTA meeting she had to attend a little early and head on over to the club to make sure that it continues to be a business meeting. And since this is clearly a business meeting and not a thinly disguised date between a married man and a woman who's marital status has yet to be revealed, the next step is obviously not to talk about said barrels of hazardous waste that are even now killing off the cute and furry animals of Lost Forest. No, the next step is clearly to dance to the swingin' rhythms of whatever is being played by the ghostly band in the background.

Mark, seriously, how many business meetings have you gone to where dancing was involved? (Wait, don't tell me. I have a feeling that I don't want to know.) If Cherry is going to show up, she had better show up soon (or at least send Doc over to make sure everything is still going as planned) and tell Sarah to get her hands off of her husband and start talking about those barrels because she took care of Shelly Welly and she can do the same to Sarah Williams. (Hmm, both have the initials S.W. Surely this is not a coincidence.) While Sarah continues trying to lure Mark away from both Cherry and the reason he met her for dinner in the first place, Joey is on the phone with the shadowy figures responsible for dumping those barrels in Lost Forest (and you can tell that they're very dangerous because not only is that speech balloon a threatening canary yellow, but it's also jagged, as though merely reading the words could send you running to the medicine cabinet for a Band-Aid). Unfortunately, Joey may be once more screwing things up by revealing that Mark Trail has come around asking about the barrels, and from the look of the words spoken by the mysterious rapscallions, they've clearly heard of him. Look out Mark, or you may find yourself falling prey to a little accident (much like Sven did when he got a little too close to Princess Allura). We can only hope that the Jack Elrod Ball will be able to warn our intrepid outdoorsman in time.

Meet George.

He's a sour-faced dandy with spindly limbs and a dream.

Science! Gunfire! Mood lighting!

Wait just a minute. Even if Tracy was able to change the card using Digital Imaging Thermal Technology, how was he able to determine what card Ace was going to draw? What if Ace had drawn the ace of spades? Could Tracy have then changed his card to something else? Is there anything else higher than the ace of spades? Was the card somehow connected to Tracy's mind via a psychic link? Was there a button where he could have selected what showed up on the card? Where was he keeping this magical card? How did he make the switch? (Why is the song "Ace Of Spades" now running through my head?) I guess all of these questions will have to go unanswered. What's important is that Ace is now heading off to prison (even if he doesn't think that he did anything wrong), King will soon be getting his money back, and Tracy will be moving on to another case (hopefully one that does not involve cards and/or gambling).

What are you talking about, Michael?

That makes the cheese a little more binding.

-Michael Chambers from The Twilight Zone episode, "To Serve Man"

(Bet you can't guess what I did this weekend.)

Sometimes I can't believe we're related.

Sarah finally gets the straight story from Joey and is less than pleased with what she's told since it seems to say that Pal Joey has a bit of a gambling problem. (He wasn't at Jack's or Monte's, was he? Are we heading for a crossover? How will they make the two styles mesh? So many questions to answer. I don't think they've really thought this through.) Unfortunately he seems to have run afoul of some guys who probably could be placed under the "We Break Thumbs," banner, so now everyone is going to have to tread lightly. Of course, Sarah could just sick Mark on them and save herself the trouble, but she probably won't. She also shouldn't try to keep this a secret since both the Jack Elrod Ball and a random squirrel seem to have heard everything. (That is one amazing squirrel, being able to hear a conversation taking place in a building miles away.)

Speaking of the squirrel in panel two, perhaps I was wrong. Perhaps it isn't the White Herons we should be keeping an eye on. Perhaps we should really be taking a hard look at the Gray Squirrels. Sure, we know that the Brown Squirrels are on Mark's side. Heck, they've played pivotal roles in more than a few cases, but the Grays haven't done much. For all we know they're working with the White Herons and the two plan to oust the Avians from their positions of power and take everything for themselves. (My, this is certainly getting complicated, isn't it?)
The more Joey talks, the worse things get. I guess this is why they should have just stayed in Smallville or Metropolis. Running a company is just too much responsibility, even for someone who might or might not be a man of steel and someone who might or might not be a reporter in love with said man of steel. (If he's afraid for his life, they're probably threatening him with a Kryptonite bullet.) Joey, Joey, Joey. You certainly are causing a lot of trouble, but at least you're teaching us an important lesson: don't choose people you owe enormous gambling debts to as your disposers of hazardous materials. They won't do it legally and only cause you more problems. That, and they'll still want their money.
Sarah, none too pleased with Joey, tells him that he has to come clean and tell the police or risk going to jail, but Joey doesn't seem to like that idea and asks her what else he should do. Good thing that Mark has decided to step in. After all, who better to deal with organized crime than a naturalist who travels around with a great big dog? I can't wait to see how this all turns out.

They're just so tall.

Sarah finally confronts Joey about the information that Mark gathered. Apparently, he changed the company's waste material handlers behind her back (which seems kind of odd and seems like something she should have known about already). It looks like Joey's run into a little trouble that he apparently has tried to solve on his own and has only succeeded in messing things up even more and getting Mark Trail involved (and we all know that he won't quit until he can kick, punch, or knock something down, so regardless of what's wrong, there will be a resolution). Now if only Clark, I mean, Joey, can bring himself to tell Sarah the details of this deal he made with the Devil.
Little by little, Sarah, starts to get the information out of her reluctant brother. Boy, if it takes this long to get the information out, it'll be Christmas by the time we find out just what sort of trouble Joey has gotten himself into. (Kind of makes me wish there was a fast forward button somewhere. Oh well.) Leaving Sarah and Joey under the watchful gaze of the Jack Elrod Ball, we are free to turn our attention to another pressing matter: the unknown affiliation of the Heron's. Personally, I think that the Blues are on Mark's side, but these Whites, I just don't know. They seem to be playing both sides and might even be trying to take some of the Avian's turf. Whatever the case, they seem to be involved in some sort of organized crime, the kind that can just make you disappear and give no one a reason to ask any questions. We could be looking at the beginning of The War Of The Birds. Best to stay inside until this all blows over.

Can I pencil you in for seven?

Mark, back at the office with his proof, continues to meet resistance from Sarah, the woman previously known as the President of the Williams Chemical Company (though I suppose she still is. I just don't have to type that out anymore.), even though it's stacking up to look like her brother Joey, previously known at the Vice President of the Williams Chemical Company, is up to no good. (I don't know about you, but I now have the urge to refer to them as Sister Sarah and Pal Joey.) As Sarah tries to get rid of Mark, telling him that she'll talk to Joey and then get back to him, Mark offers to wait in the office. It could be a long wait, Mark. You don't know if Joey is on a business trip, on vacation, in meetings all day, or has a dentist appointment where he's going to have a root canal and then go home to try and sleep it off. For all we know, that's exactly how the invisible man from the last company waiting room Mark was in became invisible. It's better not to take the chance. Besides, I don't trust that bird in panel two, and we just can't be sure that the Williams' aren't in cahoots with the Avians and just looking for a chance to trap you.
Having no other choice, Mark finally gives in to Sarah's pleas for him to leave and makes a dinner date with her and her brother. This should be fun. I only hope that Sarah doesn't think that Mr. Trail is unattached or this is just going to get embarrassing and Cherry is certainly not going to be happy about it, misunderstanding or not. In fact, Mark, why don't you bring Doc and Cherry along, just for fun. But just one word of caution: sure, that sinister bird from the previous strip seems to have turned into a mother bird caring for her young, but I'd still consider taking along a food taster, or at least wait for the others to dig in before you take that first bite. After all, the Avians may or may not be leaving you alone, but are you willing to take the chance that Sarah or Joey won't try to silence you? (Kind of gives Death By Chocolate new meaning, doesn't it?) At least the Jack Elrod Ball seems to be watching your back, if only for the moment.

That will be my little secret, big guy.

Goon A dispatched of, Tracy turns his attention to Big Ace because apparently the guy felt that he only needed one goon, which if you ask me was just poor planning on his part. Ace is none too pleased that Tracy came armed (and he'll be even less pleased when he learns that Tracy is planning to take the money back too) and that he dared to make a card-related pun. (That's Ace's job, not some gun toting, bushy eyebrowed gumshoe.) It's really looking like that big confrontation might not happen since I would think that if it was going to, Ace would have already pulled his gun out and started shooting. Oh well.
A single shot fired, Tracy's backup figures out that the door is actually a revolving one and after several hilarious moments of trying to move quickly through a door that won't by mostly jogging in place, they finally get inside and make it to Ace's office, where Tracy already has things well in hand and has pretty much done all of the work. With nothing more to do, Tracy gives the order to take Ace away to whatever prison the villains that survive their confrontations with Dick Tracy go to. Adding insult to injury, he's not even going to tell Ace how he cheated (at least not today). I just hope he remembers to take that case of money back to King. (Sure, the guy seems nice, but if you think about crossing him, just remember what happened Jack.)

Especially when yours isn't loaded.

While Tracy edges closer and closer to the final confrontation with Ace, his backup stands outside of the casino, ready to barge in whenever they feel the need to unless they get distracted by their phones/walkie-talkies/mini-televisions, which could happen. (I would also like to point out that maybe it only seems quiet inside of the casino because they seem to be standing at the far edge of the parking lot and if they bothered to approach the entrance, they might actually hear what's going on inside.) Don't worry folks, I'm sure that the inevitable gunfire will get them inside soon enough.

While Tracy's backup tries to figure out when to enter and whether the doors are push, pull, or automatic, things continue to heat up inside. So enraged by the fact that Tracy cheated him before he could cheat Tracy, Ace has turned blue (or black or red or whatever) in the face and has decided that just grabbing Tracy is not enough. No siree bob. Tracy must die. Unfortunately, I don't think that Ace has noticed that the name of this strip is Dick Tracy and not The Awesome Adventures Of Big Ace. I've a feeling that this won't turn out very well for the big guy, no matter what tie he decides to wear, but at this point I don't think that he'd listen to reason.
And so, with orders from the big man himself, Ace's goons (or goon) jump into action. Unfortunately, the guy either hasn't had much time at the shooting range, forgot to load the bullets, or is just slow, and while he's trying to aim, Tracy takes his shot. Poor guy, we never even got to learn his name (and if was probably something card-related too). How many more nameless goons are destined to fall before we finally get to see Ace do something besides cheat at cards? (Probably as many as Tracy has bullets for.)

Game on.

With barely a plan, Tracy managed to worm his way in to see Ace, who seems to have abandoned his pinstripe suit for one that seems to fluctuate between purple and blue (kind of like a certain Prince of Planet Doom. Maybe they're related.). With a big case of money on the line, and the possibility of getting more, Ace can't turn down Tracy's wager, especially since he's probably planning to cheat and get the money one way or another. (He will, however, turn down Tracy's offer to share the secret of the perfect "I'm A Little Teapot Pose" with him.) The deck is cut and the cards are drawn, with Ace selecting the ace of clubs and Tracy ending up with the four of diamonds, which then miraculously turned into the ace of spades. (I guess you could say that Tracy had an ace up his sleeve. Sorry, but I just couldn't resist.) Ace is less than pleased with the way things have turned out and accuses Tracy of cheating (which he did), and gets even angrier when Tracy accuses him of cheating, the accusation causing him to get so angry that he utters the worst profanity he can think of (and in front of the young impressionable comic readers, too! You sir, disgust me.) and unleashes his hired goons on Tracy, who will probably be disposed of quite easily, leaving plenty of time for the big showdown between Ace and Tracy (or not).

And on a side note, yes, you shouldn't open the door to salesmen at night, especially if they bear a striking resemblance to Mr. Freeze, an evil robot, a Scooby-Doo villain, or a mad scientist (unless, of course, he's your good friend Dr. Noll). Now that's good advice. Thanks Tracy. I don't know that I could have figured it out by myself.

And I'm back.

Time to play catch-up.