Well it sure ain't sodie pop.

No Mark, that definitely isn't regular garbage (unless you get all of your food and beverages from drums and live underground in a bomb shelter-like structure that you've been living in since that whole Millennium thing where everyone was so sure that the world was going to end even though they couldn't agree on when the Millennium actually started).  Now let's see, there are a bunch of animals dying and you just found a whole mess of mysterious barrels in the middle of the forest.  I don't really think that there's any way that those couldn't be what's killing the animals, especially after you found those dead ones that were clearly not roadkill near the tire tracks.  On the plus side, at least you're keeping Andy away.  The poor guy is  probably so caught up in his investigation that he could have gotten himself into a lot of trouble and I don't know that I would be able to go on reading the strip if Andy died.  (He is, after all, the silent voice of reason.)  And even though it pains me to say this, I think that we can safely check Sasquatch off of the list of possible suspects.  (Honestly, I don't know if he'd be able to handle a truck, much less get a license to drive one, and he's far too noble a beast to lower himself to carjacking.)  Say, maybe you should consider taking a picture of those barrels seeing as how you lugged that camera all the way here.  (It's just a suggestion though, so you can take it or leave it.)  That way, if you're seen, and the culprits try to get rid of the evidence of their dumping, there will still be that picture, and we all know how dangerous a picture can be (even if the one at the center of the last storyline was never seen by the authorities).

First we shall watch The Magnificent Seven.

Then we shall skip ahead in time and watch The Dirty Dozen.

(And Charles Bronson will still only survive one of these films.)

I miss my birds.

Alas, they are in storage.

From the wilderness journal of Mark Trail:

Tracked Sasquatch into the forest.  Andy seems to have found something.  Could be the trail I've been looking for.  Found many dead creatures, but no bite marks.  How wasteful.  Expected more from him than that.  I'm close.  I just know it.  It's only a matter of time.  The rocks know nothing, or are choosing to remain silent, but I know that he's recently been through here.  Realized I forgot to check and see if there was any film in my camera.  No film, just a memory stick.  May have to delete a few pictures.  Rusty will understand.
The trail is becoming clearer.  He's close now.  Closer than ever before.  Tracks lead to cliff edge, but upon closer examination found a second set heading in opposite direction.  He knows that I'm following him.  Probably realized that when the wind changed.  He's trying to lose me.  I will not be lost.  Andy ran off into the forest an hour ago.  I have yet to hear from him, but am not worried.
Took an unfortunate step and fell a short distance down slope before I was able to regain my footing.  Accidentally landed on camera.  Broke lens.  Should go back for the other one, but I'm so close.  Will have to make due and see if I can fix it.  I refuse to go back.  If I turn back now, I'll never be this close again.  He knows I'm out here, so he'll be moving on to another forest soon.  Most likely Ranger Rick's.  I have to find him before then.  Found some trash in the forest.  Not his.  Remember to talk to campers about this later.  Still no sign of Andy.  Will send Jack Elrod Ball to investigate while I continue on.

And it goes on and on and on.

King, King, King, King, King.  Why did you have to say that horrible card pun?  You were doing so well, acting like a normal person who just happens to have a penchant for playing card inspired clothing, and then you go and say something like that.  I must admit that I'm a little let down, but at least through you we're finally learning about Jack's plan (even though I had already pretty much figured it out by now).  Still, I'm not buying it completely because it seems like either this was a convenient way for you (because, well, I'm finding it hard to believe that you were completely innocent in this endeavor) to avoid having to pay taxes by giving the money away, or Jack was trying to take money from you, which makes your shooting him much more understandable.  (Heck, I would have probably shot the guy long before now, but that's just me, and I was just getting tired of him saying that he was going to reveal his plan, and then not follow through.)  Of course, you could also say that Jack was continually suffering from Giver's Remorse, and one minute was more than happy to let the winners take the money and the next couldn't wait to break down the door to get it back.  (You should have gotten that boy on some medication.  I'm sure the side effects wouldn't have been that bad.)  All in all, it's nice to know for certain what's been going on, but really, can we just move on, please?  (I doubt we will because the wrap-up will probably occur on Sunday, but I think we've rehashed the story enough now, and if King isn't going to do anything other than that, there's no reason to continue on.)

I'd say why, but I don't want to get in trouble with the Government.

Besides, I'm sure that anyone who has seen Sudden Death will know why I'm happy the Blackhawks lost the series (and it's not just because I'm a Red Wings fan).  

Wasted potential?

I guess the story might be wrapping itself up after all (but considering how may times I seem to be saying that, I just don't know any more, and I think I'll stop saying it).  With the appearance of King, I thought that maybe we were about to be introduced to some interesting new twist, but it would seem that he just showed up to show that he doesn't really have any purpose after all.  (In fact, if things don't change pretty quick here, I'm going to have to say that he's like the Darth Maul of this story.  He might be cool, but he doesn't say much, is underutilized, and before you know it, he's gone.)  Though, if he is actually in charge, why is this the first that we're hearing from him?  What about Ace?  Where does he fit in all of this?  If I were Tracy, I wouldn't trust the guy, though, especially after he just happened to mention that he runs a cartel (which, according to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary is, among other things, "a combination of independent commercial or industrial enterprises designed to limit competition or fix prices."  Yeah, that sounds real legal.  Must be why a lot of the ones you hear about involve drugs.).  I mean, he could be on the up and up, but it's also possible that the wily old King here is trying to distance himself from Jack, confident that any evidence of a connection between the two will go unnoticed or has been already destroyed.  I'd keep an eye on him Tracy.  He could be trouble.  (Better make it two.)

It's not over 'til it's over.

First off, I have to admit that when I read the balloon in the first panel, the first thing that came to mind was the "There will be no whining in my Empire!" quote that always pops into my head at the end of Star Wars Episode III: Revenge Of The Sith.  I just wanted to mention that, even though it has nothing to do with what is to come.  (We now return you to our regularly scheduled blog post.)

And so, just when we think that things are starting to wrap up, who should appear but The King Of Clubs!  (Dun, dun, duuuuuuuuun!)  Let what happened to Jack be a lesson to us all.  If you are going to go against the powers that be and seek revenge rather than cash, thus disregarding the plan that no doubt took weeks to craft, much of that time spent under the harsh glare of a single glowing light bulb suspended above a card table in an otherwise empty room, don't wear clothes that happen to have what looks like an arrow pointing to a place on your body likely to cause sudden, instant, and even immediate death should you be shot there.  With Jack now out of the way, we can turn our attention to the King, who somehow managed to sneak past all of those policemen.  (Way to go, guys!)  On the positive side, he hasn't uttered a single bad pun, but on the negative side, it looks like this story might not be wrapping up after all.  It also makes me kind of wonder about the power structure in this organization.  You see, I always assumed that if there was going to be a King, he would be the mastermind behind everything.  Here, though, it seems as if Ace is the mastermind and that, for the moment at least, King seems to be more of an assassin/cleaner who fixes the mistakes of those lower in the organization by making sure they'll never make those mistakes again.  (I do feel kind of sorry for the guy that he couldn't have longer sleeves, but I guess if you're doing the dirty work, you might prefer to have shorter ones because then there's a far less likely chance of them accidentally getting splattered or dirty when you reach down to make sure that the guy is dead.)  Still, for all of my thoughts that the story was starting to run on fumes, I must admit that I am genuinely interested again and actually want to know what's going to happen next.  (Oh Dick Tracy, always pulling me back into your crazy world the moment I think about leaving.  Whatever am I going to do with you?)

Don't you just hate that?

You're just standing there, minding your own business, when someone goes and pokes you in the back, but they're too chicken to come right out and do it with their finger, so they take one of those long pointers they used to use in elementary school for the math times tables tests and get you from a distance.  You weren't paying attention and you kind of jump in the air, maybe giving a surprised yelp, and drop whatever it is that was in your hand, instantly losing whatever dignity and respect you might have had.  I tell ya, you'd think that people would grow out of this sort of thing, and then it happens out of the blue and there's nothing you can really do but laugh because at least then you're laughing with everyone else, even if you are crying on the inside.

Okay, okay.  I don't think that Jack has just been poked in the back by a long stick.  I'm pretty sure that he's just been shot by that police man, or maybe it was the cell phone on the police man's shoulder (I hear the new ones come with lasers).  Whatever the case, it looks like Jack is about to bow out of the comic once and for all, but at least he was able to make that one last card/gambling related pun.  (I know that we're all so happy about that.)  I just hope that his shooter wasn't standing too close or else there's a chance that the bullet might go right through Jack and into Tracy (and if that's the case, I hope that Tracy is wearing his bulletproof trench coat).  Of course, right now, Tracy isn't too concerned about that.  What he's actually more concerned about is that POW headed straight for his eye.  (Anyone who's ever had a bug fly into their eye knows exactly what I'm talking about.)  He should be glad that it didn't come with an exclamation point, otherwise he'd have to start wearing an eye patch and have a heck of a time shooting without depth perception (which could introduce an interesting new angle to the comic, but right now I'm just sort of hoping that this strip means the story is wrapping itself up and that we'll have moved on to the next one by the end of the week).

Maybe they should consider purchasing Rosetta Stone.

Continuing on with the line of thought that brought me to believe that maybe, just maybe, R2-D2 was saying a lot more than everyone thought he was, so too have I come to believe this about the Tusken Raider that attacked Luke at the beginning of Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope.  You see, it all started many, many years ago, when Anakin massacred that Tusken Raider encampment.  Now, I have to believe that he didn't get everyone.  That maybe someone escaped, or someone was coming back to the camp from the hunt and that they saw what happened.  Now, this surely would have really messed up whoever the witness was, and would have surely created the need for revenge, but unfortunately by the time the posse was put together, the perpetrator was long gone, leaving the seeds of revenge and anger to grow over the years, the story of the lost tribe spreading across the planet until that last remaining Tusken Raider learned that the son of the slayer just happened to be out in the middle of nowhere with only a couple of robots to serve as his protectors.  Now was the time for revenge, and so, the lone survivor set out across the Dune Sea and finally came upon the young man he had been seeking, and it is here, after knocking him to the ground that he said something to the tune of , "Hello.  My name is (insert Tusken Raider name here).  You killed my father.  Prepare to die," a la Inigo Montoya from The Princess Bride.  Now, I'm not saying that that's what he said, but well, Lucas didn't bother to give the guy any subtitles, so you can't very well say that it wasn't.

(Besides, I'm sure that more than one citizen of Tatooine wanted to do Luke in.  Let's face it, the guy, or his father, managed to mess up quite a few lives, not the least of all those of Owen and Beru.  I still feel sorry for those two.  I mean, Owen just wanted to farm moisture and Beru just wanted to make drinks of varying colors.  They meet Anakin once, end up having to raise his kid, and what do they get in return?  They get to be a couple of burnt skeletons outside of a sand igloo.  Now that's gratitude.)

I'll get the pinto beans and muffins.

And so, Jack's plan is revealed...sort of.  It turns out that this whole thing was but one long story of a brother's quest to get revenge for his fallen sister.  Now, I will admit that this intrigued me, so I went looking around, and apparently, our heroic gumshoe did in fact do battle with the Queen of Diamonds, and was in fact responsible for her demise since according to my sources, she was holding him at gunpoint on a roof, and things were looking quite grim until Tracy threw some fake diamonds over the side, towards a nearby river.  Being the clever crook that she was, Queen went after them and fell down the smokestack of a conveniently passing tugboat (and now you know the rest of the story).  All I'll say is that this whole scam has certainly been a lot of work just to get revenge, so I'm thinking that revenge was only one part of the plan, and that Jack may not have even mentioned to Ace that he was going after Tracy.  Oh Jack, I know that your days are numbered.  I know that even though there is no river or passing tugboat nearby that you will meet some grisly end.  I also know that someday this storyline will come to an end and we can move on to bigger and better things.

Isn't death always serious?

Ah, so now the last story is finally beginning to make sense (or at least as much sense as it's going to).  Mark needed to save Rusty and the little spotted dog so that he could get the camera back in order to go and take a picture of whatever is killing the animals of Lost Forest (even though he didn't know that anything was killing the animals of Lost Forest at the time).  Now, some people may say, "Hey Mark, why don't you take a gun instead?  That way, if you run into anything dangerous out there, you'll be able to defend yourself."  But you see, if he took the gun, he'd have to leave the camera behind, and I'm betting that somewhere deep inside, he's hoping that the culprit is a Sasquatch or some other kind of mythical forest beast, and that if he can get a non-out-of-focus picture, he can retire and live off of the fame that such a photograph would bring him.  (Why, he could even open up a museum and give guided tours of the forest.)

Getting back to the story, yes, mythical beast or not, I think that it would indeed be a good idea to know what's killing the animals.  The thing that leaves me puzzled is that if Doc is so concerned about the animals dying, then why does he make that remark about finding out if it's serious or not?  Wouldn't finding a lot of deceased animals all seeming to suffer from the same malady be serious?  I think it would, but I'm not a naturalist or a scientist, so I shall leave the determination of danger to the experts.  (Still, if I didn't know that it was a bunch of shadowy figures and a truck, I'd think that Mark Trail was about to go to battle with microscopic organisms, which would have led to many action packed montages of microscopes, slides, and sample collection.  Oh, the excitement that could have been!)

It's like watching tennis.

Oh Jack, just give it a rest.  We all know that you're not really going to tell Tracy what your fiendish, fiendish plan is.  By now we all know that something is either going to interrupt you or you're just going to conveniently forget.  (And another thing.  You don't tell someone, "You're a dead man."  You just shoot them.  Saying that is just a waste of time and inviting your own demise.)  True to form, before Jack utters a single word about this plan that I'm starting to think doesn't even exist, the story switches back to B.O. and Gertie, providing everyone with a nice view of the Kingpin's (well, I guess it's the Kingpin's because it's certainly not Ace's) bloody hand as it hangs at his side, locked in a raccoon trap.
Continuing on with B.O. and Gertie, we find the old girl holding the Kingpin and the rest of the hired goons at gunpoint (which might be a little bit of overkill seeing as how two of them stepped in bear traps and the third is currently gripping his arm in pain over the trap firmly clamped down on his hand.  Yeah B.O., she was completely helpless.  Need I remind you that she wasn't the one who got himself tied up and stashed in a broom closet before being dumped outside of Peosta, Iowa?  No, I didn't think so.).  For the goons, it would appear that their time in this strip is growing short and soon they shall be loaded into the back of a police wagon and hauled away to prison.  The only positive thing about this whole situation is that they're already in their jumpsuits, so they won't have to change when they get there.  (Well, that and they'll finally receive some medical treatment for those trapped limbs.)  With things pretty much under control at B.O. and Gertie's, it's time to go back to the casino, where Jack continues to taunt Tracy with the possibility that he'll finally tell him about his plan, and while it might be possible that he's actually going to say something, I think that it's far more likely that Tracy or his cop friend are about to pump a little lead into our one-eyed friend and put an end to this story so that they can all get paid and move on to the next case. 

It's about time you guys showed up.

With everything pretty much squared away (and in honor Tracy surviving 100 posts), who should show up but local law enforcement.  I guess Tracy must have managed to make a call on his wristwatch radio, or those nice people who just came into the casino to use the phone or the bathroom got a little scared after seeing Tracy and Jack fall from the ceiling and decided to call the authorities before jumping into their car and high tailing it out of there.  However they found out, the important thing is that they're there, and since they're there, I'd say there's a pretty good chance of Tracy actually being paid for this case.  Of course, the really important thing is not that Jack is lying on the floor with one eye open (and since we haven't been told that he was killed, and since he's got that smirk on his face, I'll assume that he's pulling a Yoda and is about to jump up and start flipping around the room, fighting for his life), no the important thing is that with the successful (well, sort of successful) use of TRAZE-R and Buzz, more robots have been given the chance to become policemen.  Yup, the first recruit seems to be a cell phone, probably chosen because not only is it capable of making calls, jotting down notes, telling time, and calculating tips, but it can also clip securely and unobtrusively onto a shoulder strap, sitting quietly like a tiny mechanical bird of prey, waiting for the signal to flip open and unleash its tiny wrath on unsuspecting criminals.  I do hope that the little guy has its eye on Jack, since as I said before, he's clearly playing possum and who knows what he's got planned.  (I mean really, he can't go the jail.  Orange jumpsuits have absolutely nothing to do with cards.)
Not quite ready to come along quietly, Jack makes one last attempt at freedom by pulling a gun on what might or might not be Tracy's leg (because it could also be a black hole or shadowy doorway leading to a closet filled with monsters, and well, he just never got over that fear, all right?).  Now, I'm not sure just whose gun that's supposed to be.  I didn't think that Tracy was close enough, and our buddy the cop should still have his in his hands.  That pretty much leaves me to assume that Jack has been packing heat the whole time, and just makes me shake my head and sigh as I say, "Oh, Jack."  I mean really, if he had had the gun the whole time, then what was the point of the hand to hand fight he had with Tracy?  Why didn't he just pull the gun out, shoot him, and bury him under the casino's new swimming pool?  (Right, right, we needed the story to go on a little bit longer.  My mistake.)  Who knows, maybe that gun is all a ruse.  Maybe it isn't even loaded.  Maybe it only shoots water, or jelly, or some kind of condiment.  Whatever the case, Tracy shouldn't be too worried since Jack doesn't appear to have the steadiest hand in the West, and in light of that fact, I will end with this word of advice: if you like the character of Jack, please enjoy this strip because he might not make it through the next one, unless the focus suddenly switches back to B.O. and Gertie, where we learn that the home invaders have been subdued and the two former criminals have decided to hit the road with the biker gang.  (It could happen.)

Usually that just means it's hunting season again.

Look everyone!  Doc is back!  Hurrah!  (I guess they didn't need to organize that search party after all.  Good thing too because it was getting dark, and they were all pretty tired after rescuing Rusty and the little spotted dog, and it was starting to look like it might rain.)  With the reappearance of Doc, so too comes the next storyline.  It looks like Mark is going to be fighting illegal dumping in Lost Forest, or the surrounding area, as well as the threat of lead contamination.  This comic may also indicate the rising of another group out to get the Trails (or some sort of superpowers from the contamination) as the one behind the dumping seems not to be the shadowy figure behind the truck, but the short little bush that's in danger of being run over.  Yes folks, it looks like we could be dealing with mutant plant life.  I guess that's why Doc left that skunk to keep an eye on things.  (After all, everyone knows that the natural enemy of the mutant plant is not the trampling deer, but the stinky skunk.)  I shall wait with bated breath to see what fiendish industrialist is behind all of this (and hope that he bears some resemblance to Monty Burns).  

Oh, I had things to say yesterday.

But the Internet was down, so they must remain a mystery.

Gee, that's really helpful.

I love it when the onscreen programming guide cuts off movie titles.  I especially like it when it cuts off the ones that are part of a series of movies where each title begins the same way.  I think it adds a little mystery to the viewing experience.  After all, Harry Potter and... or Star Wars: Episode... could be almost anything.

This sounds awfully familiar.

Reading the third book, a song suddenly popped into my head.

Upon listening to the song, I realized that it was about the first two books.

It all makes so much more sense now.

I guess that's sort of right.

Robots and other allies help a youth and a space jockey rescue a rebel princess and battle dark forces bent on intergalactic rule.

(The moment I saw this description of Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope, I knew that I would always remember it, and that I would laugh each time it appeared on the schedule.)

Put the red nine on the black ten.

It would appear that the guy leading the charge at B.O. and Gertie's wasn't Ace after all.  That would explain the colossal failure of the mission, though it does make me wonder who he was.  I suppose the logical answer would be that Jack sent the Kingpin out to the farm (or whatever you'd call the Plenty's home base) to get the money back so that he could give it to Ace, or keep it for himself.  (A guy's got to eat and keep himself stocked up on card related paraphernalia after all.)  So that's Ace.  I don't think he's too pleased to have such a close up (albeit a shadowed close up) appearance in the comic today, what with the evil eye he's giving us in the first panel, but I suppose when you're the leader of what might be a large operation, you want to keep a few secrets.  One could even be that he doesn't much care for gambling and would rather just play solitaire all day.  (What can I say?  He's a lonely, lonely man.)  But as much fun as it would be to try to figure out which are the red cards and which are the black cards in panel two, something's actually happening at the casino, so let's all shift gears and rejoin the big showdown between Tracy and Jack, already in progress.   

Welcome back folks.  Despite the fact that it looked like Jack had been knocked unconscious after Tracy flipped him onto the roulette table, the boy is back up and raring to go.  Unfortunately, that raring brought him right into the path of Tracy's fist, but with a jaw like that, I don't think much damage will be done.  Before Jack can retaliate, who should appear but his secretary, Ms. Jones.  (Jack has a secretary?  A secretary named Ms. Jones?  Yes.  Yes he does.  I refuse to give her a card name.  So there.)  Apparently, someone really wants to get in touch with him and even though she told the caller that Jack was busy and would be in a meeting for the whole day, the caller persisted, said it was urgent, and she had no choice but to interfere with the fight.  It's probably Ace, asking what's become of his money (or a telemarketer.  Those guys can be sneaky.).  We'll have to wait until tomorrow to see whether it's the big boss man asking where his money is, or an underpaid phone jockey wanting to know if Jack would be interested in changing his long distance carrier.  Oh, the suspense!

That's one option.

With everything back to normal (or at least as normal as it gets in Lost Forest), it's time for some chow.  Looks like fortune cookies, shoe horns, and coffee with a little wallpaper paste on the side.  Yum.  But with Moe and Larry in police custody, a new question arises: what will they do with the possible reward money?  Sure, Mark could have kept it for himself and used it to help Lost Forest by buying some more land or saving some more animals, but as the song says, "the children are our future," so he's decided to give it to Rusty (who, to my knowledge, has yet to give back the five hundred dollars Larry threw at him so many weeks ago), and what does Rusty decide to do?  Why, put it away for college of course.  (My, what a responsible young man.)  I suppose that's one option.  Another would be to use it to buy a jet pack.  Then he could get all sorts of aerial shots of Lost Forest and action shots of birds in flight (which might come in handy what with the never ending conflict with the Avians).  But, you know, saving for college is good too.  

Maybe a little, depending on the opinion of the media.

Would the President from Armageddon have seen a dip in his approval rating if his order to detonate the bomb early had been carried out?

One can only wonder what the next month will bring.

        
Maybe it's because I looked at the calendar for a little too long one day, or maybe I've just seen the movie a few too many times, but I honestly think this picture of Angkor Wat bears a certain resemblance to Dr. Zaius from Planet Of The Apes.  (I say this intending no disrespect.  Frankly, I find the entire place fascinating and would love to go there.  This particular picture just reminds me of Dr. Zaius is all.)  Of course, maybe it's just me.  I do tend to see things like this in pictures, paintings, clouds, and whatever else I might be looking at.  I still think it's neat, though.

Hey there, cutie.

After watching Blue Planet: Seas Of Life, I have come to one conclusion: salmon sharks are cute.  I think it's because of the wide-eyed innocent look they possess that you don't usually see on sharks.  It's a look that makes me smile and when I saw it I immediately thought that this might just be the kind of shark that would apologize as it ate you, saying that it's nature's fault and that it really doesn't want to, but it's just so gosh darn hungry.  I mean sure, in reality, it would probably tear you apart if you gave it half a chance, but you've still got to ask yourself if a face like that would really want to do you harm.  (I guess it would if you were a salmon, but last I checked, I was not a salmon.)  Swim on, little salmon shark, swim on.

(Though I have to confess that hammerhead sharks will always be my favorite.)

And that plan would be?

I'm not sure what's going on with Tracy in the first panel.  It kind of looks like he grew a mustache and donned a lab coat between appearances in the comic, which can only mean that it isn't the Dick Tracy we all know and love, but is in fact, a Tracy from another Universe, but not the same Rick Tracy Universe that briefly appeared in a previous storyline.  Therefore, I shall call him Ricardo Tracy, distant relative of Trowa Bartone, Master of the Latin Dance.  (Go, Ricardo, go!)  But, for continuity's sake, let's assume that the man in panel one is Dick Tracy and that he's still fighting Jack (or trying to pick his nose with the rake, or whatever is happening in panel two) because the important thing is not who he might or might not be, but the fact that Jack may be about to tell him his brilliant plan (or Ace's plan, or whoever is really in charge.  I think it might actually be a goldfish.  An evil goldfish, but a goldfish nonetheless.).  Now, we could hope that Jack is about the divulge every little detail of his brilliant plan, and you can feel free to go on believing that, but me, I'm not going to go expecting to hear anything.  After all, Jack played this, "I'll tell you what our plan is," game before, so I'm not going to believe that he'll say anything until he actually starts talking.  Turning to panel three, it would appear that my doubts were well founded because with the uttering of "YI!", the battle cry of the defeated (I mean really, how many have uttered this same word only moments before they found themselves engulfed in flames, mauled by demon dogs, or hauled away to the loony bin?), Jack abandons any and all plans to tell Tracy the details of his brilliant, brilliant plan and leaps into action.

Unfortunately, he's not a very good leaper, while Tracy happens to be a very good catcher.  Lacking the tumbling abilities of a Romanian gymnast, Jack is unable to stick the landing (or enter that wormhole that would have taken him to the safety of the Ricardo Tracy Universe) and lands with a FLOP on what is probably the remains of the roulette table he fell on at the beginning of this fight.  (Quick!  Grab the chips while he's unconscious and run to the exchange window before they start closing everything down!)  While his ungraceful landing surely hints that the end of this fight is at hand, it also highlights the fact that the condition of the control room window was merely a symptom of a larger problem, and sheds light on why there's hardly anyone in the casino.  Obviously, everyone in this organization is so caught up in the money making and cheating that they forgot to hire a cleaning staff and no one wants to break out the Swiffer and do the real dirty work, otherwise, that table wouldn't have been covered in dust (unless Jack has broken into the drug trade and what we're seeing is a lot of potential money about to be sucked up into the ventilation ducts, and if it is, it can't be healthy inhaling all of that.  It could also be that Jack is stuffed with sawdust, but between the two, the drug thing seems more likely.).  All of this leaves me wondering just how long this storyline is going to last, but I suppose the only way to know for certain is to wait and see.  (It shouldn't be too long.  Usually Dick Tracy and Mark Trail end their stories at around the same time, so I'm thinking that we've got one more check in with Gertie and B.O. before this case is officially marked as closed and there's another villain in the morgue.)

Oh, the pain...the pain!

What did I say?  While Mark was making sure Larry wouldn't cause any more trouble (by making sure that he was being knocked into a rock, by the way), Andy took on Moe, who was apparently no match for the combined forces of a giant St. Bernard and the Jack Elrod Ball.  (Nope, not even a slightly incorrect Star Trek live long and prosper hand sign can keep those two at bay.)  Quickly subduing the hapless criminals and then leaving them beside a rock to think long and hard about what they've done and where their lives are headed, Mark takes a moment to make sure that Rusty and the little spotted dog are all right (and that they still have the cameras because, well, that's the real reason all of this came about).  Yes, things appear to be wrapping themselves up quite nicely, for the most part anyway, because unfortunately, it looks like Andy might have wanted to take things a little too far, and the only way for Mark to hold him back was to point a gun at his head.  (I'm thinking that it's the one previously seen in Larry's hand seeing as how the only gun I'd expect Mark Trail to carry is some sort of rifle, and only as a means of protecting his family or scaring off predators.)  In a minute or two Andy will be back to his regular lovable self and there will be no need for threats, though I'd probably keep the gun handy just to make sure that Moe and Larry don't try anything.  Now all they have to do is pile into the car and deliver the criminals to the proper authorities.  (I hope that Mark knows how to drive a stick.)  With the story coming to a close, I have but one question: where did that white horse go?  Perhaps we shall find out tomorrow.  (Perhaps not.  Probably not.)

Whoa there, cowboy.

He's threatening to take over the story.

Sure, he's fun to write, but this isn't his story.

It belongs to someone else.

He doesn't seem to care.

That's why the boy has got to  be kept on a short leash.

His time will come.

He just has to be patient.

The trouble is, he doesn't want to be.

It's fourth and nine with three seconds left in the game.

Realizing that they might have made a mistake leaving him in the car, Moe and Larry drag Rusty out to help them move the log, and in doing so, Larry loses track of that gun he was carrying yesterday, which we had never seen before and probably won't see again.  (I guess it makes sense for him to have had a gun.  How else would they have robbed a bank?)  Seeing that time is running short, Andy puts on his game face right before he and Mark burst out of their hiding place to finally take care of the camera thieves (oh yeah, and the kidnappers).  Caught off guard by the fact that Mark Trail might have at one time played some high school football, Larry can do nothing but utter "SURPRISE!" as he's knocked backwards, probably into some rocks or something else that will knock him unconscious.  Andy seems to have disappeared for the moment, but I can only hope it means that he has become locked in a fight to the death with Moe (who is apparently in possession of a malfunctioning threat level indicator turtleneck).  One can only wonder what part Rusty and the little spotted dog will play in this.  (Personally, I hope that Rusty blinds Moe by jumping out from behind a tree yelling, "Freeze!" just before he takes a picture a la Big Shot from "The Tick vs. Dot and Neil's Wedding," but that's just me.)  

Of course.

It's called a rake.

I knew that.

The information had just been filed away for safekeeping.

Really, really safekeeping.

So safe that I didn't know where it was kept.

Alert! Alert!

Andy, always ready to leap into action, almost blows the whole operation by being too eager to save Rusty and the little spotted dog.  Good thing Mark is there to hold him back (or give him a doggy treat or a little pat on the head) before he can do anything stupid.  Watching from their hiding place, Mark and Andy finally get a close look at Moe and Larry, and frankly, the look isn't a good one.  (I don't know about you, but I'd be a little reluctant to run at a guy with a gun, but I'm not Mark Trail, and Mark Trail can probably punch a bullet out of the air, so he'll probably be fine.)  While Mark and Andy look on and plan their next move, the Jack Elrod Ball continues to play both sides in an attempt to free Rusty and distract the criminals (who, despite telling Rusty that he was going to help them move the log, seem to have left him in the car) by helping them move the log from where it had conveniently fallen across the road.  (I'm not really sure how it's going to help seeing as how it doesn't have arms, but maybe it can get under the log and they can use it as a kind of pivot point to swing said log to the side of the road.)  But before this can begin, Moe, finally showing some kind of sense, looks a little nervous about the whole log moving operation, and with good cause for as you can clearly see, his turtleneck has changed from white to the golden color of his shirt, indicating that the danger level has just been raised from "Everything Is Hunky-Dory" to "Did You Hear Something?" and soon it will turn the brilliant red color of "Ahhhh!  Zombies!  Get The Heck Out Of Here Or We're All Going To Die!!!"  Hopefully Moe is well acquainted with what the different colors mean or he's going to be in for quite a surprise in a comic or two (or three or four or whenever the rescue attempt finally takes place).

Good job.

Whenever I see a particularly bright tree or bush, I can't help but think that Bob Ross had something to do with it, and silently say, "That's a real sparkler.  Thanks Bob.  Keep up the good work."

Everybody's getting a little face time today.

Ha ha!  Dick Tracy cannot be taken down by a roulette wheel, not when he has a chip pusher that looks suspiciously like a putter within his reach.  Oh Jack, you're heading for a bruising (especially since it looks like that roulette wheel is shrinking) and Tracy is just looking for an excuse to beat someone senseless.  After all, this has been a rough couple of cases for everyone's favorite gumshoe.  First, he forgets to fill out the paperwork for that perfume fiasco, which wasn't exactly an official case, and now he's taken on another not-really-official assignment that he might or might not be paid for, so he might be looking to take a little something for his trouble out of you just in case.  But before we can get to any of that, we of course have to flash back to the plight of Gravel Gertie, trapped in her basement with the notorious criminal mastermind, Ace.
Oh Ace, just let it go.  Tend to your goons and get out of there.  Dead goons are of use to no one, and training a new batch is just so time consuming.  (Plus there's all of that paperwork and those fees and that mandatory meeting with the representative from the Henchmen's Guild where you have to explain why you need more goons and what happened to the old ones.  It's just such a hassle, and you don't need that right now.)  My advice is that you forget all about the money and get your goons to whatever crime doctor is listed on your organization's health plan.  I mean, you've got everything else, and I'm sure that there was more than one one thousand dollar bill bag (and besides you could be wrong.  You might already have that bag.  I mean, how can you tell?  Is it the serifs on the dollar sign?).  Besides, B.O.'s come with the cavalry (or at least one member of the cavalry but I'm assuming that the others are with them), and while you may be able to manhandle an old lady, I don't think that you can do the same to a gang of notorious, possibly magical, bikers.
See, I told you that you should have just let her keep that bag.  I mean, come on, Ace (or, at least the guy that I've decided to call Ace until I'm told differently), I'm sure that you've got a lot of money coming in from your other perfectly-legal-in-no-way-centers-of-illicit-or-illegal-activity-establishments that you could let one measly bag of one thousand dollar bills go.  (Or is it that you don't want to let them go because they're rare and you just like looking at Grover Cleveland.  He is pretty special, isn't he, what with those two non-consecutive terms in office and all, but which is more important, money with pictures of the 22nd and 24th President Of The United States of it, or avoiding what it is probably at least one life sentence in the roughest prison Tracyville has to offer?)  Oh, and I think that you should have probably thought twice about putting your hand in that bag.  After all, she had bear traps.  You should have at least expected a mouse trap.  I would have, but that's just me.

It's not his fault you forgot to pack a lunch.

As Mark, the mysterious white horse, and, I assume, Andy, formulate their plan to save Rusty and the little spotted dog, a squirrel looks on as a happy family in a compact car takes a leisurely drive through the forest, unaware that just behind the bushes (or a little ways off in the forest, I can't tell), Rusty and the little spotted dog are trapped in a life or death situation with two bank robbers who are turning out to be not as smart as I had once believed (and I really didn't think that they were that smart to begin with).  Larry, Larry, Larry.  You're arguing with a child, and I'm afraid that the child just might win the argument because the kid is telling the truth and you, on the other hand, seem to have your facts a little messed up.  You see, my friend, no one made you go to that diner.  Why, when you're on the run from the law, you'd decide to stop at a sit-down eating establishment is beyond me, what with the proliferation of fast food eateries spread across this great land of ours, but stop you did.  You made the choice.  You.  Not Rusty.  You.  He was just some kid taking a picture of his folks between bites of his grilled cheese (and I'd like to once again add that had you not gone after that camera so doggedly, your presence would have probably never been noticed in the picture, or noticed only after you were long gone).  This is all you, my friend.  The boy and his dog just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.  
So that's Mark's plan.  The old log in the road trick.  I suppose it's better than sending Andy running out into the road to try to stop the car because knowing Moe and Larry, they'd probably just run him over or spaz out behind the wheel and drive the car directly into the mountain or whatever rock Mark is hiding behind and then Rusty and the poor little spotted dog will bite the big one and Doc and Cherry will be mad that Mark lost both cameras and the boy and his dog.  It's a good thing that dead trees seem to be plentiful in Lost Forest.  (After all, a dead tree helped save Cherry and Shelly from those mountain lions that they first scared and that Shelly later wouldn't leave well enough alone.)  Still, if I were Larry, I'd forget about the tree and be more concerned about the Jack Elrod Ball, which has somehow managed to sneak into the car and appears to be about to knock our blue-shirted criminal senseless.

But the pit has not yet closed.

You know it's bad when both the goalie for the other team and the announcers say that your team got hosed.

Fool me twice, shame on me.

After the second team I had been rooting for lost in overtime when I got up to do something, the novelty was gone.

What did I say yesterday?

Leaving both Tracy and Gertie to whatever fates the Comic Gods have in store for them, we turn our attention back to B.O., wandering the deserted road just outside of Peosta, Iowa.  As you can see, the old guy seems to have some experience with being dumped by the side of the road in the middle of nowhere, as his hitchhiking thumb form is just about as perfect as it can be.  (He also may have done a little modeling in the past, for even with a Slime/Zol sitting on his head, he manages to cut quite the figure in his dapper coat and tie, complemented by a snazzy pair of black slacks.)  It's a good thing too because who should appear out of the darkness, but a biker gang.  (Probably even a notorious biker gang that doesn't recognize any form of law enforcement or government.  You can tell that because they don't pick a lane.  They just ride right down the center on the dividing line.  They might even be a magic gang because despite driving down an asphalt road, they still managed to kick up a cloud of dust.  Now that's talent.)  Thanks for making this more interesting, B.O.  Of course, what would make it even more interesting is if you took the gang back to your place and they fought it out with the home invaders because you just happened to be the long lost founder of said biker gang.  We'll just have to wait and see where this goes, even though we're probably about to switch back to Gertie or Tracy (but maybe not because nothing's really been established here.  Heck, for all we know, they might be about to beat B.O. up and steal his meager possessions.  The fact is, we just don't know, but we will...eventually.).

Should I start playing the William Tell Overture?

Mark, I think it goes without saying that Rusty recognized the guys he took a picture of in the diner and then the guy who tried to buy his camera for $500.00.  (You just don't forget things like large quantities of cash being thrown in your face.  In fact, I think Rusty might still have that money since Larry threw it at him after he snatched the camera.  I bet the cops will want that back eventually too.)  I also think there's a chance that the criminals recognized Rusty too, considering they tracked him down after he took their picture at the diner and stole his camera.

Seeing that Rusty is now in danger, and in an effort to prove he ain't afraid of no ghosts (and because Cherry and Doc would probably be really, really angry with him if he just let those two drive away with Rusty and the camera), Andy, Mark, and the horse he rode in on, take off to try and save the day.  Can a horse/car chase be anything but assured?  Dare I even suggest the possibility of a horse to car transfer at a high rate of speed?  (Come on, Mark, Walker did it at least once.  Are you saying that you're not as good as a Texas Ranger?)  I just hope that Andy is some sort of superdog and able to keep up with a galloping horse for as long as this chase lasts.  (What am I saying?  Of course Andy is a superdog.  Look how many times he's managed to save the day so far.  This will be just another walk in the park.)

This can't be good.

The main character lost two fingers in the prologue.

Two.  Fingers.  In the prologue.

I can only imagine what's in store for the poor guy in the rest of the book.

See? He's fine.

It was just a little bump on the head.  It didn't even put a dent into Tracy's crime fighting abilities (though it seems that the same cannot be said for his hair.  Oh well.  I'm sure a little sandpaper will fix that right up.).  Jack also seems to be no worse for wear, despite the unsettling sound he made landing on (or in) the roulette table, which leads me to believe that he might really be made of clay, or he's some sort of robot.  (Both are equally likely, though if he is made of clay, it's good to see Matt Hagen managed to pull himself back together and find another job, even if it did mean continuing on with a life of crime, but he's got to pay the bills somehow, right?)  Whatever Jack turns out to be, Tracy better get up pretty soon or he's going to find out what it feels like when a roulette wheel smashes your face (and I don't think that even his hair could do much to protect him if that happens).  If he's smart, he'll roll out of the way before he's struck, or he'll use that chip pusher thing (yeah, I tried looking up the proper name for it, and you can see how well that went) as some sort of weapon, meaning that Jack may find himself impaled yet.  (But don't worry, folks.  I'm sure we'll cut back to B.O. and Gertie right about now and leave Jack holding that wheel for however long it takes the strip to wander back to the casino.)

Well it's about time you three showed up.

Mark, sort of worried about Rusty, but more worried about that camera he borrowed, finally makes it to within a couple of miles of the cabin.  It looks like he might have encountered some sort of mad scientist or wizard along the way though, because Andy looks bigger and Mark and the horse look smaller, so I'm thinking that either Mark and the horse were shrunk or Andy grew.  (Maybe they stumbled upon an abandoned chemistry set and made some green slime that Andy accidentally ate.  Okay.  I know, I know, lay off of the Choose Your Own Adventures for a bit and get back to the comic.)  I'd like to see that in the comic, but we won't because, you know, this is Mark Trail and the mad scientist/wizard angle seems more like a Dick Tracy kind of thing.  At least Mark, Andy, and the horse are finally somewhere near to where Rusty is, though they seem to be a little hesitant about coming any closer to that cabin than they need to, and their hesitation is justified because clearly the reason that no one has been to that old cabin is because it's haunted.  (Everyone knows that, and now you do too.)  I'm just wondering if Mark will be able to overcome his fear and save the day, whether Andy will take the initiative and charge out to save Rusty and the little spotted dog (but not the Jack Elrod Ball because as you can clearly see, it managed to escape and is now helping to guide Mark, Andy, and the horse to the criminals still holding its two companions), or whether they'll just turn back and leave the two to whatever fate Moe and Larry have planned for them.  (Maybe they should go find that wizard or mad scientist, or mad scientist wizard, and ask for help.  That's what I would do.)

Action! Action! Action!

Oh Gertie, you forgot about that other entrance to the basement (you know, the place you apparently entered sometime between now and when those two crooks stepped into your carefully prepared bear traps), and it looks like Ace has finally decided to take matters into his own hands.  Apparently, watching his hired goons be taken out by bear traps brought to mind the saying, "If you want something done right, do it yourself," and he decided that the only way he's going to get that money back is to go down into that basement even though there are probably spiders and all manner of mold lurking down there.  (Hope you're not a germaphobe, Ace.)  Though he seems to have easily caught Gertie from behind, it looks like both of them are getting more than they bargained for.  (I'm not sure what that is exactly, but it looks like Gertie might have either bitten into, or slobbered on, Ace's hand, and Ace might just have pinched Gertie's rear.  You just wait until B.O. gets here.  He'll do something about this.  Speaking of B.O., I wonder how many panels of him walking down an empty road in the dark we'll have to endure before he finds his way back into the main storyline.)
And because something interesting just might be finally starting to happen over at B.O. and Gertie's, it's time to switch back to Tracy and Jack, who have been hanging suspended above the casino gaming floor for quite some time now.  (Unfortunately for both of them, the moment the comic switched back, they resumed their plummet, rudely breaking off what had become quite a civil and informative conversation, the subject of which we will never know.)  I have to say that I'm a little worried about the way Jack hit that table, even if the roulette wheel didn't impale him.  I just don't like the fact that he landed with a SPLUCK.  SPLUCK sounds a little gooey, even if it wasn't ended with an exclamation point.  (Oh Jack, whatever is to become of you?)  Tracy, on the other hand, I'm not too worried about since it looks like he managed to land on his head, meaning that the impact would have been absorbed by his wood block hair, so I'm sure he's fine (unless the damage it received earlier compromised the structure too much to support the weight of impact....no, no, I'm sure that everything's fine).

There's that whole economy thing, you know.

I would like to think that politicians have better things to do than worry about the Bowl Championship Series, I really would.  Apparently, they don't.

Consarnit!

Well, it would seem that for the meantime, the powers that be have decided to leave Tracy and Jack hanging (pardon the pun) and instead focus on the plight of Gertie and B.O.  At least now we know that Gertie didn't have to resort to biting one of the home invaders (though I don't believe that I ever seriously thought that).  It turns out that the Plenty's security system involves not only shot guns, but bear traps as well.  (Hey, it's cheaper than those electronic ones, and the traps double as an alarm since anyone who steps in one is going to cry out in pain as the jaws clamp down.  With one criminal out of the way, it would seem that there is only one more to go (not counting Ace, of course, who is staying by the car because while he wants the money back, he doesn't want to get his hands dirty).  Too bad that this guy forgot that bears have four legs.  Otherwise he would have been on the lookout for three more traps.  (It's also too bad that he didn't point that flashlight at the floor where the bear traps could be found.  If he had, he could have probably just stepped around them instead of in them.)
While Gertie is doing her best to fend off the home invaders, B.O., who is apparently seen as something of a threat, has been carted off to Iowa, and not just anywhere in Iowa, but Peosta, Iowa, near the lovely city of Dubuque, the land of corn (or hay).  It would have been helpful to have some idea of where all of the previous action had taken place, so that I could have gotten some idea of just how far they took B.O., but I guess beggars can't be choosers.  I do like the fact that B.O. exited the car with some sort of grace, and managed to execute a perfect barrel roll before landing in that pond.  I just hope he remembered to bring some change for the pay phone or a little money for bus fare, and that he's wearing sensible shoes in case he has to walk any great distance, but I suppose those thoughts should be secondary to these: I hope that he knows how to swim, and I hope he can untie himself before he drowns.

The tears of a Scout.

Okay Moe, this is taking things a little too far.  I think that turtleneck is cutting off the blood flow to your brain.  I mean, what is killing the little spotted dog going to accomplish?  If you do that, Rusty will either turn into the little Mini-Hulk he was before, or he'll run away because there would be no reason to remain (and I really hope that if you did kill the little gal that you'd leave the body and not take it with you, or use it for food).  I'm just wondering if you've really thought this through, and I'd also like to know how Larry feels about this since you will inevitably charge him with the task of dispatching the little dear (and perhaps you should consider for a moment, how many criminal organizations have collapsed when someone was asked to do something that they just couldn't bring themselves to do).  You know what, Moe?  Killing innocent puppies is like eating kittens.  It's just plain wrong and no one should do it ever.  
With the threats continuing, Rusty has no choice but to come out of his hiding place.  (That's a bit of leadership and dedication that I don't think I expected from the kid, but they are holding what could be his only friend hostage, so I guess it makes sense.)  I just hope that Moe and Larry follow through and let the little spotted dog go.  (Personally, I think that Larry is glad that the kid came back because I don't think he really wanted to do the little gal in anyway.)  I guess we'll have to wait and see what Moe does next.  I'm not really sure why he wants Rusty anyway.  I mean, I don't think that Rusty managed to get his camera back since the last I knew, it was flying through the air after he accidentally ran into Larry, and Moe and Larry could have easily jumped into their car and driven away before Mark, Andy, and the horse got there because even though I thought that the lake was near where the Trails lived, apparently it's miles and miles and miles away.

And now, a word from the D.A.S.

Greetings friends,

We'd like to talk to you today about something very important: dandelions, the underappreciated yard brighteners that help make the world a better place. With the coming of spring, there's been a lot of talk about dandelions, with many of those doing the talking freely uttering the W-word over and over again, and while we don't deny that these lovely little flowers have been placed in that category, we think that there's so much more to them than their being weeds (and we do apologize to those with delicate sensibilities for having to say that word, but we feel that it is time to embrace the weediness and spread the good word of dandelions). In fact, we believe that they are an integral part of growing up, for without the humble dandelion, countless mothers and teachers across America would never be given bouquets, chains and wreaths would go unmade, lawns would just be green masses of bland uniformity, and there would be a marked decrease in the number of wishes carried away by fluff-topped seeds. Without dandelions, future generations would clearly be put at a terrible disadvantage that they might never be able to overcome. Now, this is not to say that we want to see a world covered in dandelions, for we do believe that the manicured lawn and the dandelion can live in peace and harmony. We just think that a little splash of yellow here and there wouldn't be such a bad thing. We hope that we've given you something to think about, and thank you very much for listening to what we had to say.

Respectfully yours,

The Dandelion Appreciation Society

Because weeds need love too.

It turns out the whole thing was pretty much a figment of my imagination.

Apparently, those two never had that big fight after all.  They fought other people for reasons that now make no sense, and only actually fought each other for about two minutes.  

I love the way my mind works sometimes.