But don't fret, for everyone has a place in the new order (though some places are clearly better than others, but that seems to be the case in any society). So before you rashly choose your Snuggie by what color you like the most, take a moment to consider just what those colors mean and where your selection will place you in society. First we have the Red Robes. These are the robes of the leaders. They're the ones who are in control. They are the chosen few who take their places on the High Council that governs all. They make the rules. They enforce the rules. And woe be to anyone who goes against the rules. Then there are the Green Robes. Fewer in number, these special few are the Oracles and High Priests, guiding the people's beliefs and spreading the word of Snuggie to the masses. They lead the people in the great ceremonies and will guide the followers of Snuggie to their ultimate reward: a life of warmth and comfort. Finally, there are the Blue Robes. Numerous and necessary, these are the laborers and craftsmen who create the tools, buildings, and infrastructure needed by the Reds and Greens to create their perfect world. Without them, there is no cause. Without them, there can be no new world, no new tomorrow.
These are but some of the thoughts that go through my head when I see the ad. Yet for all of this, for the inevitable fear that this group will one day come to power and we will be subdued by the warm, soft fleece of compliance, the strange thing is that I kind of want one of them, but I don't want to become one of them.
(I think that I might need to lay off of the Twilight Zone episodes for a while.)
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