But which one?

Tracy, it was a giant robot exploding.  You know that.  You've been hiding behind a bush watching the fight with a guy in a POLICE hat (or from certain angles, an ICE hat).  You had an excellent view of the explosion.  Pull it together, man!  Your expression leaves me a bit puzzled since you look slightly disgusted by what you're seeing, which can only mean that you've spotted an alien, a dead body, or that work of art you were given two stories back that we've never seen.    In fact, it seems that the mere sight of whatever it is has rendered you speechless, leaving it up to your ear to finally acknowledge that it can talk.

Meanwhile, Braces, who I am beginning to question the intelligence of for hanging around the crime scene long after he should have left, also doesn't seem to know what's going on.  (One thing I have noticed is that he changed out of his plotting suit into a turtleneck and blazer far more suitable for committing crimes.  I guess he had to make sure that everyone in his gang looked similar for identification purposes, but he still made sure to wear the coat so that everyone would know that he's in charge.)  If I were the Mysterious Evil Lady by his side, I'd grab his arm and drag him to the getaway car.  If he lingers around here any longer, I'm going to start thinking that he actually wants to be caught.

Finally, the only one who actually has enough sense to look and see what happened, Mr. Police Cap (formerly Mr. Ice) took the initiative to tell everyone what was going on, even if he's not being too specific as to which robot was the one to explode.  I think he's trying to make up for his earlier cowardice, and maybe by showing initiative he'll get a little something extra in the next paycheck, or at least a small holiday bonus.  I say that he deserves it.  After all, he's the only member of the force that actually came to Tracy's aid, even if it was by accident.  

(And just so you know, I'm still holding on to hope that Buzz survived, but I fear it's becoming more and more unlikely.)

Twinkle.

We're all made up of stars.

(I wrote that before I knew out about the song.  This came from watching The History Channel.)

I'm sure he's fine.

I'm sure that Buzz isn't really gone, that he really didn't have what appears to be a nuclear bomb inside of him, and that even now he's cruising through the wreckage that was Magnum.  Now here's the real question: is Magnum really finished, or we about to have a fight between two giant robots who can only crawl along the ground, creating large gashes in the pavement as they haul themselves towards each other, broken wheels wobbling in the air?  We'll just have to wait and see, I guess.  I must say that I do like the use of the word KA-THOOM!  It has a little more oomph than a regular BOOM! and more sophistication than a KA-BOOM! (even if I'm not exactly sure what would make a THOOM sound).  Hopefully Buzz's fate will be revealed tomorrow, and we won't just be given a view of Tracy and Mr. Ice running for their lives amid a shower of shrapnel and flaming debris.  (I sure hope that the bush they're hiding behind can hold up against all that.)

Revelations.

Shelly has seen the error of her ways (though she isn't quite ready to see the error of lying to Mark about her true identity, but I don't think that one's ever going to happen), and so the Avians have called off the hit, retreating back to their stronghold to continue plotting Mark's demise.  I guess there might be some sense in their organization after all (unless they're just leaving to intercept Shelly on the way back to her office.  After all, Mark would never suspect that they were behind an unfortunate automobile accident, would he?  No, of course not).  Shelly may well intend to try to persuade her stockholders to cancel the project, but she has no idea that Peter has set his own plan in motion, a plan that involves getting rid of Mark (but will it also involve steel and mortar and bricks and pie?).  These developments all leave us with a multitude of questions.  Will Shelly convince the stockholders?  Will she find out about Peter's plot in time?  Will she become Peter's pawn?  Will Mark just leave town on his own?  Is Rabbit really through fighting dogs and raccoons?  Will an actual rabbit ever appear in this story?  Will this story line ever end?  Who knows.  Who knows.

It was a difficult time for all.

But it proved especially difficult for the Nazgul.  The troubles began when they lost track of the Hobbit with the One Ring.  They continued when someone at the laundromat spilled bleach on their robes and turned them white.  Finally, adding insult to injury, to save money they were forced to wash their clothes with the elves, who accidentally put a red cloak in with their now white robes, turning them a lovely shade of pink, making it all the harder to strike fear into the hearts of men.  This left the Ringwraiths with but one option: they had to find the tattered, old robes they had thrown into the back of their closets and hope that there weren't too many tears and that the stitching would hold until the new robes arrived, because even though they were not in the greatest shape, they were at least black (or a still imposing, very dark gray).

No, Buzz!

It would appear that the backup has finally arrived (which only further supports my idea that the police station is across the parking lot from Genesis).  Unfortunately, said backup may have only accidentally stumbled on to the scene during a smoke break, or was forced to go after losing a deciding game of Rock Paper Scissors, and doesn't seem to be too keen on staying.  Mr. Ice there seems to be leaning towards a tactic of retreat and hiding (and is following through since I assume that both he and Tracy are now behind that indestructible bush).  Dick looks like he's about to make sure that his backup has a little accident before this is all over so that he doesn't have to listen to him anymore.  (Give the guy a break, Dick.  He has a hand growing out of his chest and still managed to come in to work today.  Could this be the next mutation of the T-Rex illness?)  Meanwhile, the only one actually doing something is a robot that doesn't even have a badge.  Unfortunately, poor Buzz appears to have hit a tiny ramp of some kind and may be about to flip over, burst into flames, and probably explode.  (I need to cut back on the action movies and episodes of Magnum, P.I. and The A-Team.  I really do.)

Problem solved and the universe is saved.

The whole issue of young Anakin Skywalker's cloudy future wasn't as big a problem as the Jedi want you believe.  I think they're just embarrassed that they let everything fall to pieces when really all they had to do to avoid destruction was sponsor Anakin in the Professional Pod Racing Circuit.  That way, he wouldn't have been a slave, he would have been out seeing the stars like he wanted to, he would have been making plenty of money for himself and the Jedi, and he would have been able to buy his mom.  He wouldn't have had to get all whiny and annoying about not being the best Jedi in the Universe.   He could have been whiny and annoying about not being the best pod racer in the universe instead.  Plus, that whole forbidden love thing wouldn't have even been an issue and we wouldn't have needed to see Padme's totally awesome '80s hair in Revenge Of The Sith.

Raise a glass to the sidekicks.

I shudder to think what this comic would be like if there were no feisty, tiny robot sidekicks that lived inside of giant robots.  (Granted, this is the first tiny robot sidekick that I am aware of, but still, where would the comic be without it?)  I knew that TRAZE-R wasn't done yet.  He even seems to be trying to pick himself up and continue the fight, but with the sad state of his wheels, all he can do is stand up, maintain just enough balance to let the little guy out before toppling over again.  (The little guy sort of reminds me of a tank from "Combat" for the Atari 2600.  All we need now is for TRAZE-R's flat top to flip up and a tiny plane to fly out of a previously unknown hanger.)  As you can see, Buzz Bomb (or Buzz, as I shall call him from now on) is the pinnacle of technology.  He's got a video camera and a gun, so not only does he mean business, but he also wants to record it for posterity (and to possibly go over the film later in order to figure out ways to improve his performance).  I am a little worried that the little guy won't survive his encounter with Magnum, and not because I'm afraid that Magnum will run him over.  No, it's all about the name Buzz Bomb.  Anything I've ever encountered that had the word bomb in it tended to end up exploding, and though I've only known the little guy for a single comic, I know that if he does live up to his name, I'm going to miss him terribly.  (I'm also going to laugh hysterically if it turns out that he's full of bees.) 

Teaming up for nefarious deeds.

Just when you thought that the raccoon/dog fighting story was wrapping itself up, it continues on and joins with the main disappearing wetland story line.  With Peter's knowledge of the corporate world, and Rabbit's knowledge of the wetland, who knows what diabolical plot they'll concoct.  (I mean, I know that it's all about revenge, but the how has yet to be revealed.)  Now it's all beginning to make sense why Cherry was inexplicably placed in that office.  She isn't there for the purpose of keeping an eye on Shelly.  She's really there to keep an eye on Peter, who is being driven mad by jealousy.  (He also seems to be aging at an alarming rate.  That's what a life of evil doing will do, folks.  It'll either keep you forever young or turn you into a decrepit old fossil.)

Now, if I cared about him at all, I would tell Peter to watch out and reconsider this alliance.  There are far too many things in this invisible garage that could signal his end.  Why, Rabbit could grab one of those wrenches from the wall, knock him over the head, tie him up with that wire/tubing/rope hanging on the wall, put the tire over him to keep him in place, and then place that on the hook and raise him up into the air, or make it look like he's still standing so that when Mark stumbles upon this place, he'll think that Peter is waiting for him when really it's Rabbit, laying in wait to have his revenge on our intrepid conservationist woodsman.  We can only hope that the Jack Elrod ball, which only came in for a check up after that unfortunate incident with the chain, can get back to Mark (and learn to somehow communicate with him) before these two are able to put their plan into action.

Ah, memories.

I remember when the apostrophe was also known as the flying comma.

When you take "Magnum, P.I." off the air

I end up watching movies like "Sudden Death."

Shoot on through to the other side.

It would seem that not content to show up on the weekends in beautiful technicolor, Rick Tracy has decided that Dick could use some help and has come on to the scene with guns blazing.  Meanwhile, Dick has decided to dive for cover, leaving it up to Rick to take over the fight.  This is quite an interesting development, but couldn't their meeting tear a hole in the spacetime continuum, dooming us all to cease to exist, or are there different rules for when you meet your counterpart from another dimension?  (Ah well, I'm sure it will become clearer in time.  Perhaps the two versions will simply meld seamlessly into a new hybrid life form.)  The more pressing business is whether Rick will be able to hit the little slot that represents Magnum's mouth, and end this robot rampage.  (Speaking of Magnum, is anyone else reminded of those fair games where you have to shoot water into the clown's mouth, or is it just me?)
Wait, wait, wait.  You're just now calling for backup?  Shouldn't you have done that before you ran inside of the building to start the fight?  Isn't that part of the procedure?  (Perhaps they do things differently in the brightly colored Sunday Dimension.)  Ah yes, Rick, I'm sure that in your dimension tanks are plentiful and each police station has several parked outside for just such an occasion, but this isn't your dimension and you've got to work with what you can get your hands on.  The thing that I actually find most troubling about this strip is the fact that the Chief seems reluctant to send people to help out.  (Could it be that she's been looking for an excuse to get rid of Tracy, or does she somehow know that Dick isn't the one speaking to her?)  I do feel sorry for TRAZE-R though, who appears to have been given the "He's dead off screen" treatment.  Poor guy.  Maybe he'll come back and save the day.  (Maybe not.)

Meanwhile, in the safety of the bush outside of the building, Dick continues to endure Magnum's assault (which means that somehow the fight has moved outside.  I'm not sure when or how, but little differences in details like that are expected in fast moving situations like these, if this were a fast moving situation, that is.).  You know, you'd figure that if Magnum was able to shoot out TRAZE-R's tiny eyes from a distance, he wouldn't have any trouble taking care of a man hiding behind a bush.  (You'd think so, but it's harder than it looks.  Please refer to the case of Legolas Greenleaf, who could easily shoot a goblin in the eye deep within the dimly lit Mines of Moria, but couldn't shoot one orc carrying a torch before it blew up a very important wall.)  We can only hope that it's a laser proof bush, or else Rick may have to stay in this dimension permanently, or jump back and forth between dimensions to keep both worlds going.

(And what is with this repeated use of "Yi!"?  Have characters nothing better to do than say letters of the Cyrillic alphabet while they're being chased or shot at?)

In ten days it will be okay to listen.

The radio stations have been playing it for a couple of weeks now, but I have made it a point not to intentionally listen to any Christmas music until after Thanksgiving.  Unfortunately, many stores have switched over their catalogs to it, so it can't be avoided entirely.  My reason for not listening is that I don't want to be burned out on it by the time it actually feels right to listen to the sounds of the season, especially since it seems like they start playing it earlier and earlier every year.  Funny, I had no idea that the sounds of Thanksgiving, and it seems at times Halloween, were also those of Christmas.  Someday I wouldn't be surprised to start hearing it on the first day of September, though I hope it never comes to that.

That being said, I have bought a few Christmas albums, but they are going to have to sit unused until after Thanksgiving.  I would have waited to buy them until it felt right to buy Christmas music, but past experience has taught me that by the time I'm ready for it, it will have disappeared from the store or no longer be on sale.  I guess this way I have something to look forward to as well as something that I know will be there when I want it.  

Of course, I'm also the person who doesn't start Christmas shopping until December, so think what you will.

Music for a Friday night.

Every Friday night, all I need to hear is one theme song and I've got entertainment for the rest of the evening and beyond.  That song belongs to the "Big Ten Friday Night Tailgate" show, and while I admit that I've never actually watched a whole show (which doesn't sound so bad when you realize that I only found the show a few weeks ago), I have always made sure to hear the theme song.  The beauty of the "Big Ten Friday Night Tailgate" theme song is that it's so easy to play with.  All you have to do is rhyme "Big Ten Friday Night Tailgate" with whatever phrase you can come up with.  For example:

Cars drive on the interstate.

Big Ten Friday Night Tailgate.

Look, there's chicken on a plate.

Big Ten Friday Night Tailgate.

Cake and ice cream sure taste great.

Big Ten Friday Night Tailgate.

If you're not early then you're late.

Big Ten Friday Night Tailgate.

And so on and so forth.  Yes, it may be stupid.  Yes, some of you may be shaking your heads at it, but it's just really fun to do, and that alone makes it worth the watch.  Plus, once you start, it's really hard to stop, and it's always a good thing when you can turn a bad day around by making yourself laugh.

Thank you, Captain Obvious.

(For one day only, Dick Tracy has graciously agreed to describe the action as it happens for the visually impaired.)  Things are not looking good for TRAZE-R the crime-fighting robot (and one could also say they aren't looking good for Diet Smith, the little man who lives inside of the crime-fighting robot).  I think that things took a turn for the worse not when TRAZE-R became blinded, but when his wheels got bent out of shape and he was forced to keep using them (and now they'll never be true again).  This seriously affected his mobility and ability to dodge, making hitting him in the eyes with a laser beam all the easier.  Now that he appears to be on the way towards a fall, things just keep turning more and more in Magnum's favor.
Wait a minute.  Braces, why are you still here?  Have you never heard of backup?  I don't think that the police would just let one of their own (well, two of their own if you count TRAZE-R, but I don't recall him ever being given a badge) handle something like this on his own, and if they weren't on their way already, surely the shock wave produced by a giant robot toppling over would bring them running to Genesis.  (At least, I hope that it would.)  My dear Evil Lady, I think that you need to take Braces by the arm and lead him out to the Evil Automobile where the Mysterious Eye-Patched One is waiting.  You've got what you wanted from the safe.  There's no reason to hang around and be caught.  Time to head back to the potting shed.
But wait, there's more!  Just when you thought everything was running normally, we once again take a short detour into the strange world of Rick Tracy.  Unlike Dick, Rick seems to not be content to just sit on the sidelines, watching the two robots duke it out and instead takes the partnership seriously, stepping up and taking shots at Mungam, the evil robot who's beating the stuffing out of E-EZART.  (He even appears to be using two kinds of bullets in his gun.  One that serves as a warning and the other that means business.)  How long will this detour last?  Will it have any effect whatsoever on the story we've been reading?  Your guess is as good as mine.

Mind the ball.

After disposing of the nefarious ne'erdowell, Rabbt, Mark frees Sneaky from the log.  Unfortunately, he didn't seem to notice that the Jack Elrod ball was already working on freeing the little guy, so when Marked yanked the chain away, he hit the ball, causing it to go a little crazy.  (Luckily it was only a temporary thing and all was forgiven.)  Now all Mark has to do is get Sneaky back to Pamela.  With this plot line now being neatly wrapped up (Well, sort of.  One could argue that he should take Rabbit to the proper authorities so that he doesn't just go out and catch another poor raccoon.), Mark can get back to saving the wetland (or swamp or whatever it's being called) and the web of lies Shelly has woven around herself.  (I still think he should call the authorities about Rabbit,  though.)

I'll show you my credentials.

With one right cross from Mark, the fight appears to be over, though the waves created by the two fighters seem to have pushed Sneaky away, and we can only hope that the river running through the swamp is carrying him to safety and not more danger (because it seems in times like these, when people get carried away by rivers, they often run into rapids or waterfalls).  Luckily, the Jack Elrod ball has bounced onto the scene and is now working to cut (or melt) the chain holding Sneaky to the log so that he can once again be free to wander around the swamp (which, as previously stated, is what raccoons do).  Silly Rabbit, he should have known better than to mess with Mark, and he's going to be even more unhappy when those waders stop keeping him dry the moment he goes underwater.

You've always got a friend.

Even when you're typing alone.

And so it comes to this.

It sure didn't take Mark long to find the dog/raccoon fights, did it?  I guess when he really puts his mind to something it doesn't require a long, drawn-out walk in the woods.  Poor Sneaky.  He's about to be attacked by those generic hound dogs.  (There's nothing generic about Sneaky.  No sir!  He's got a collar.)  What I'd like to know is why Andy didn't come along.  Maybe Mark didn't want to risk turning a dog/raccoon fight into a dog fight.  (I guess that makes sense, and maybe Andy is still on leave after his mission involving the puppy nappers because well, I just don't know the proper procedures for these sorts of things.)  
Before the fighting can begin, Mark finally steps in to intervene, telling Rabbit to stop because that raccoon he's planning to kill for sport is somebody's pet.  (Mark, was it really necessary to say that it was somebody's pet?  Wouldn't you have stopped this if it were a wild raccoon?  If not, I think the wilderness magazine people really need to know about that.)  If I were Sneaky, and I wasn't already chained to the log, I'd bite Rabbit and get away, but I guess he's taking the alternate approach of waiting patiently for Mark to get him out of this predicament.  I just hope that Mark called for backup from the DNR or local law enforcement because if Rabbit asks to see his credentials, I don't know that Wilderness Expert will strike that much fear into him.

The holidays can only mean one thing.

"The Twilight Zone" marathon is coming.

(Oh yeah, and family togetherness and all that stuff.  I guess.)

It's time for some real firepower.

After nearly toppling over (or dealing with a momentary loss of gravity in that corner of the building), Magnum is back with a vengeance, moving from punches to lasers, and managing to blind TRAZE-R with a single well-placed shot.  One can only wonder how Diet is coping with the sudden darkness.  (I sincerely hope that he isn't claustrophobic)  The more pressing matter though, is the fact that the laser beam had to be labeled.  (Even TRAZE-R seems to be embarrassed about this fact and he's supposed to be Magnum's enemy.)  

And now, without any further or due, I bring you the list of things the laser beam could have been:

1. A very long straw (because fighting can make you work up quite a thirst).

2. A poison dart shooter (because if you take care of Tracy, there's a good chance that TRAZE-R won't know what to do).

3. Acid spit.

4. An arrow.

5. Some sort of root from the alien plant that's actually controlling Magnum.

6. The line marking the edge of a wall or floor that was accidentally drawn too long and then inked in.  (Good thing there was all that empty space underneath it, huh?) 

7. The hose connected to the off-panel oil tank that's being used to refill Magnum.

8. A spiked robot tongue.

9. An evacuation slide belonging to the tiny people who live inside Magnum.

10.  An extension cord (because when this fight started, Magnum was only at 50% and all this moving around and taunting has really drained the battery).

Art imitating art.

What could Mola Ram from "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom" and a giant crime fighting robot possibly have in common?  The answer, my friends, is in panel two, where TRAZE-R is clearly trying to pull out Magnum's heart (or CPU or whatever amounts to a heart in a giant robot).  You can be sure that had he accomplished the task, he would have held it up in the air where it would have burst into flames.  But wait, isn't TRAZE-R supposed to be on the side of truth and justice and all that that entails?  I suppose it's all a matter of perception.  Both sides believe they are doing what is right and therefore see the other as doing what is wrong.  It's only society that pushes them into the good and evil categories.  (Okay, I've just been reminded that this is a daily comic strip about a fight between two giant robots.  Right.  Stepping off of the Tangent Train now.)  Luckily, TRAZE-R's brush with evil was thwarted since old Magnum seems to be made of adamantium or some other really hard substance that can't be torn into so easily (that, or TRAZE-R punches like a girl).  What I really want to know is what Magnum is saying while he's all bent over like that.  (I'm guessing that it's some sort of robot swearing, but I could be wrong.  He could just be reprogramming himself or initiating repairs, but I still think he's swearing.)

Now is the time for action...right after I finish my coffee.

I don't know who that woman in the first panel is, but she pours a mean cup of coffee.  After another brief office interlude, we're back to the dog/raccoon fights because, let's face it, that's just more interesting than watching someone do paperwork or wait patiently for an appointment by thumbing through old magazines.  The leader of the fighting ring appears to be a man named Rabbit (I assume that he's the same guy who caught poor Sneaky), or maybe it's a giant rabbit (meaning that the Easter Bunny has gone too far and must be stopped).  Either way, it's finally time for Mark to stop talking and start acting, and from the use of bold letters and even bolder eyebrows, you know that he means business.  The Avians also seem to be taking note of this development, and though I would like to believe that they aren't involved in this and that they would even want to help the animals of the swamp (or at least stay out of their way), I can't help but think that this would be something that would come into the mind of their deranged leader.  (Though why he would send some quail to serve as the contacts baffles my mind.)

It snowed today.

Therefore, everyone forgot how to drive.

Surprise!

You've got to stay positive.

When Evil is afoot and you don't have any arms, you gotta use your head.  

And when Evil is ahead and you're behind, you've gotta do the legwork!  

But when you can't get a leg up, you gotta be hip!  

You gotta keep your chin up and kick some...

-The Tick

You can't give up.

I mean, did Albert Edison give up when they stole his theory of regularity?  Did Benjamin Franklin give up when the Germans shot down his kite?  No, and why?  Because they were great scientists, and when you're great you don't let other guys walk all over you.  You stand up and say, "That's my really cool science project you guys are going ga-ga over."

-T.J. Detweiler

Slightly depressing, but well worth a look.

The Mysterious Geographic Explorations Of Jasper Morello

Watch it.

Second thoughts may lead to third thoughts.

Shelly has decided that now is the time for the truth.  (Well, most of it anyway.  I doubt that she'll reveal her true identity.  Baby steps, Shelly.  Baby steps.)  Meanwhile, back at the invisible office, where the poor invisible man continues to be ignored, Peter wants to see Shelly, who I was under the impression was still at home.  (I guess somebody really does live at the office.)  From the exclamation point at the end of her sentence, you can tell that Cherry is less than impressed that Shelly is talking to Mark and that if she doesn't get off of that darn phone soon, there's going to be trouble.  (Actually, there seem to be a lot of exclamation points being thrown around today.  The only one who isn't doing it is the invisible man, but I guess no one would pay attention to him even if he did.)

He ain't pretty no more.

After spending most of the week not doing much of anything but throwing playground insults at each other, the fight has finally started and the first punch has been thrown, with TRAZE-R taking it on the nose (yeah, I know, but I just couldn't resist).  Who knows what sort of metal mayhem we're in for.  Personally, I'd like to have them run at each other, arms swinging, with possibly some sort of hidden arsenal of weapons revealed, but I probably shouldn't get my hopes up.  What I do like about this is the random commentator who has suddenly appeared.  (I had no idea that this event was going to be televised or broadcast on the radio.  You'd think that someone would have tipped the cops off to that, but then again, if they stopped the fight, no one could pay to watch or listen.  Still, it does leave me wondering which direction the robots are moving across my radio dial.)

They got the rookie.

Oh no!  That giant, chain link clam just caught Sneaky.  Now it's going to turn him into a furry, masked pearl.  (Actually, that could end up looking pretty cute.  No, no, no.  It's wrong.  So very wrong.)  I hope that Andy and Mark are out looking for the rookie, who apparently took the initiative and decided to put the plan into action without telling the others who were supposed to be involved.  (Sneaky, there's taking the initiative and there's being stupid.  Guess which one you are.) 
Wait a minute, are we really sure that the raccoon being caught in the first strip was Sneaky?  (I mean, where's the collar?)  I guess it doesn't really matter.  What's more important is that some random down on his luck swamp dweller has captured the poor thing and might be thinking about making him into a stew.  (And here I thought that the fights were put on by local boys, not local ne'erdowells.  I guess the term "boy" is being used very, very loosely here.)  And yes, Random Man, that collar will make it easier to chain the poor thing to the log.  Just ignore the contact information on the tag.  I'm sure that no one will be looking for him.  I bet people put tags and contact information on all sorts of things that they don't really want.

And now, when all hope appears to be lost, Mark is back on the case, though it seems that he doesn't want to tell little Pamela what might really be happening to her pet.  Sure, Mark knows the score, but isn't it easier to say that Sneaky's wandering around in the swamp because that's what he does than to tell her that he's probably been captured and even now may be chained to a log in the middle of the swamp to be set upon by dogs?  (I mean, he could be wandering around the swamp.  The chances just aren't very good.)  Never fear, though, for Mark and Andy will put a stop to this.  After all, they stopped the puppy nappers.  How hard could this be?

It's over.

Now everyone can go back to pretending to be civil to each other.

Voting is mostly about standing in line.

I really need to have a last name that ends in M-Z.  

That line was so much shorter and moved a lot faster than mine, which seemed like one of those never-ending Cedar Point ones where I half expected to turn a corner and find myself in a gigantic maze-like enclosure with no hope of ever reaching the front.

I also miss punching holes to vote.

It's just not as satisfying coloring in the space between two arrows because for some reason it just doesn't seem very permanent or official.  (I'll never forget you, chad!)

Oh right, the fights.

It seems that Shelly managed to get rid of Peter without resorting to violence, though if she crushes him in that door, I suppose you could call that violence (or stopping a home invasion).  With Peter out of the way, and Shelly left to think about what she's going to do next, it's time to turn back to the dog and raccoon fights.

How convenient that the moment one story line is heading for a lull, the other begins to pick up as our pal Sneaky (who seems to be suddenly wearing a dog collar for no apparent reason other than for identification purposes later on) has escaped from the safe confines of the cabin he shares with Pop and Pamela and, after taking part in a short game of soccer, is heading for the stream which most likely leads to the swampy area where poor, unsuspecting raccoons are tied to logs and attacked by dogs for fun and profit.  If Andy is going to go undercover, he had better get to it.  The rookie is taking off by himself and if movies and television are any indication, it can only mean trouble.  We can only hope that Mark will refocus on this story and get to the swamp and rescue Sneaky before it's too late.   

You know, when you think about it, it’s true.

He who slings mud generally loses ground.

-Adlai Stevenson

The Avian update.

This was printed a while back, but since I missed it, and since nothing much is happening today, I think it's important that we all take a moment to find out what those crafty little birds have been up to.  (I'm not going to say that they made me do it because of the attention I paid to the seagulls, but well, make your own conclusions.)  It seems that the workout regimen is starting to pay off.  Just look at those strong little legs, keeping that sleeping bird in place on the branch.  Sources indicate that the Avians have increased flying time to build up their endurance and are taking advantage of spies by using them as sparring partners.  (I do not believe they're using the correct definition of sparring, but I'm not going to tell them.  I just washed my car and I can hear them outside of my window.  In fact, it might not be safe to type right now.  Regardless, I shall persevere.)  Yes, the Empire is building itself up again, and with winter coming on and many of the animals migrating or heading for hibernation, I predict that they'll take to the skies as the snow starts to fall.  We can only hope that Mark is expecting this and has taken the proper precautions.

Summed up in four words.

If the Florida Gators ever played the Texas Longhorns, would the entire broadcast consist of nothing but the names Colt McCoy and Tim Tebow?

Look out, Peter!

After a long absence, our favorite plant kicking developer has come back onto the scene, and just in time.  It seems that Shelly might be starting to have second thoughts about what the company is doing to the wetland.  There was also the revelation that some underhanded, under the table, deals may have taken place.  (I imagine such dealings taking place in the smokey back rooms of bars or clubs, in dimly lit alleys or parking structures, or in vast mansions full of guys in suits packing heat.)  Could it be that they've gone too far already and that if they do do the right thing, both Shelly and Peter risk being locked away forever and ever (probably with the villains from Dick Tracy)?  Shelly's in trouble then because I doubt that Peter is willing to go away for life just because she's developed a little bit of a crush on a married man (yeah Shelly, remember that, he's married).

But wait, is this strip about to get violent?  What's Shelly reaching for?  Could it possibly be the pistol she's been concealing all this time, tucked into the waistband of her jeans?  It doesn't look like it, but from watching television and the movies I know that bulky, rigid things like guns can be easily hidden under skin tight material.  Choose your next words carefully, Peter.  She might be just reaching for a vase to smash over your head, or she might be reaching for a bullet with your name on it.

(On the plus side, it is good to see that Peter isn't taking out his frustration on the little plant in the background.  Perhaps after having to nurse the poor little Pothos from the office back to health, he's learned his lesson.)