Comeuppance

If Rex Morgan taught us anything, it's that a good meal is important, no matter what you're doing, and it seems that this is true in the wilderness as well.  Looks like Stinkachu alerted the next line of defense and observation: Bear Claw.  Now, don't be fooled by the old Humphrey The Bear Disney shorts and the lovable Smokey.  If you get between him and his salmon (or forest, or anything else for that matter) you'll be in a world of hurt.  But hey, if Kelly has the utensils, maybe she'll make enough noise that it will serve as a makeshift tracking device.  I mean, the animals missed their chance of getting a clip on her ear during the storm, so we're going to have to go low-tech here (and judging by the effectiveness of high-tech devices as shown by Dick Tracy, the low-tech way will probably work a lot better.).  What the forest animals need now are some eyes in the sky.  I'm not sure where the eagles fall in terms of allegiances, but the forest is their home, and so long as the Avians aren't in need of their skills, and they don't need to hit The Lost Forest Gym, I don't see the harm of using them (just make sure they don't find out any secrets if they aren't always on your side.).

Not the utensils!  Noooooooo!  (Why can't we just say dishes?)  Well, I think I can safely say that any compassion or sympathy felt for Kelly has just been obliterated.  It's one thing to go looking for animals in action, but it's another to knowingly cause the action and possibly really hurt someone (because I doubt that Moss Green knows how to fly).  Shame on you, Kelly.  I say that you get what you deserve.  (Now where did that bear go?)

Telling yourself it’s a reboot won’t make it so.

I'm calling a spade a spade and saying that The Incredible Hulk is a sequel to The Hulk because, frankly, it is.  It felt like a sequel, from pretty much ignoring the origin story, to the times where it seemed like the movie was trying to overcompensate for the so-called lack of action in the first movie (Go ahead, tell me that's not sequel work.  I have other reasons too, but I'll leave it at that because I have other things to say.)  That's my opinion and I'm sticking to it.  So, so there!  (And if you understand that reference, congratulations.)

Now, I'm going to come right out and say it:  I miss the greener Hulk.  This one seemed a little on the gray side (and yes, I know there is that whole gray Hulk thing, but I've always known him as a big green guy and that's the way I like it.), and it threw me off a little because after seeing him the first time, the thought passed through my head that the Hulk looked kind of like how I'd picture Solomon Grundy if he ever made it to the big screen (which I doubt he will).

It was good to hear "Hulk smash!", though I don't think it needed the question that came before it.  Kind of made me cringe a little because there are so many better ways to prompt that line (they could have also just had him say it, novel concept that that is, which would have been perfectly fine).

I will end by saying that I almost started laughing when I shouldn't have because one scene reminded me of the old promos from Cartoon Network (back when they used to actually show cartoons.) when they used to mess with clips from The Superfriends.  All I'll say is that I expected Bruce Banner to utter this immortal quote from Brainiac, "Look, I just want some pants.  A decent pair of pants!" 

Who do you think you are?

Wow, the police department must be feeling pretty stupid since at the moment they're being beaten by a floating pipe straight out of Sherlock Holmes (yes, the gag has not been lost on me.  I was just hoping to avoid it.  Oh well.).

Is Tracy supposed to be going undercover here, or is this just a misplaced speech balloon and there's a phone that we can't see, being held by the hand connected to the arm that seems to have been chopped off of Shirl's body?  It could go either way.  I mean, all that high-tech stuff didn't work, and the department spent the budget buying it, so now they've got to pick up a little spare change wherever they can.  Since they obviously need to work during the day, it only makes sense that they take janitorial positions (that, and third shift fast food jobs).  He might want to consider cleaning the floor with something other than a giant tuning fork though.  It will make the job go a lot faster.

Now, if that is indeed Tracy, it looks like someone forgot to use his Just For Men (or Grecian formula, I'm not picky).  He'd better get to the store and buy another bottle, otherwise his closest friends, who were too dumb to notice that he colored his hair the first time, might notice the gray.  The eyebrows, however, remain unchanged, so maybe he should just wear a hat and save himself the money.

Oops.  Guess it's not Tracy after all, but I think the janitor gives us a pretty good idea of what he would look like if he were allowed to age (but we'll never know because I have a feeling he seals himself in Tupperware every night to preserve that 1931 freshness).  It would be interesting though, kind of like seeing whether the actors from Back To The Future will resemble their older versions or not.  The again, by now Tracy would be almost 77 (and that's if he was born in the first strip), and no doubt retired, so it's probably for the best that he stopped aging.

But back to the strip.  If I were the teller, I wouldn't be too worried since it looks like the robber is using a water pistol (I mean, it could be filled with acid, but if it were, I would guess that it would eat through the gun before he had a chance to fire.).  I'd be more worried about my hand, which looks like it's turning into a mitten.  Wouldn't you know it, she presses the button to alert the cops at the very same moment that the janitorial staff is cleaning up the surveillance room, which apparently just has a single outlet for all the fancy gizmos, gadgets, and doodads.  Darn the luck!  Darn!  Darn!  Darn!  (Extra points if you know where that came from.)  Perhaps they should consider investing in a surge protector.  That way, they can keep the room clean without sacrificing effectiveness (and they might also be able to solve a crime someday.)

Exterminate!

At my old job, the trash cans always reminded me of Daleks (you know, those charming aliens from Doctor Who that liked to say "Exterminate!  Exterminate!").  I used to think it would be a good idea if the store had a Dalek or two.  It would certainly persuade people to put things back and to not make messes.  Unfortunately, management would probably not agree with me.  (They'd probably say something about how the customers are important and we can't go blasting them away with lasers just because they didn't refold something, or dropped something on the floor and couldn't be bothered to pick it up.)  Still, it would be pretty neat...

Adding some flavor

It is my opinion that the greatest Kool-Aid flavor ever created was Purplesaurus Rex.  Alas, like the dinosaur it's sort of named after, it had a short lifespan and was removed from the shelves, cast into extinction, living on only in the memories of those who loved it and the odd package that turns up on eBay.  Instead of bidding on powdered drink mix that's over a decade old, I've tried to recreate it numerous times, and those who know about it, know that it's essentially grape and lemonade.  Yet somehow, when you combine the two, they don't quite recreate the flavor.  They do it enough to make it enjoyable and bring the memories back, but when you drink it you know there's something not quite right.  I think that it was the mingling of the two flavors from the very beginning that allowed them to become that one unified flavor worthy of so much love and respect.

The Lesser-Known Pokemon

What's this now?  Is Brawny about to start putting the moves on Cherry to lure her away from Mark?  From this angle he does look a lot like Mark, just with a mustache and  a spiffy blue shirt.  (He also sort of reminds he of the guy on the choking poster because it looks like he has no nose.)  Also, I'm wondering why he's wearing a trench coat in the forest.  Maybe he thinks he's a cowboy or Wyatt Earp.  (Someone should have told him that the forest is full of branches and such that love to snag that type of thing.)  Wouldn't a thicker, more protective coat be better?  Maybe something plaid even?  Also, is it really a good idea to start making a fire in what looks like a tent?  Couldn't that potentially eliminate what little shelter they have?  (Maybe not since it looks more like a canopy than a tent, but then you've got the wind to deal with.)

Everybody loves Pikachu, the little rat-thing that sneezes lightning.  Fewer love his distant relative, the forest dwelling Stinkachu (whose attack should be pretty self-explanatory).  While some would choose to cast the little darling aside, the animals of the forest have deployed him as a scout.  (The relative lack of knowledge about this particular animal means that he can be seen without arousing suspicion, unless he gets excited or threatened, which judging from panel two, may have happened.)  I don't think our little group of intrepid explorers will have to worry about starting a fire for long since those gigantic lightning bolts are about to strike the tent (and with lightning that big, I don't think it will matter whether they're the tallest things in the area or not.  Looks like everyone has a good chance of getting fried.).

And finally, why did they bring a foal on this potentially dangerous trip?  Wouldn't that be dangerous for man and beast?  And who gets to ride it?  Cherry is petite and all, but she's still too big to ride a foal, and since Kelly looks like Cherry, she couldn't do it either.  Perhaps the foal is there to serve as a decoy.  It distracts Kelly and Brawny with cuteness so that when the trap is eventually sprung, they'll be caught by complete surprise. 

Alive once more

I've got a new computer now.

I still have to keep the old one.

I can't afford to see if there's anything still alive on the hard drive.

(Can you say world's largest paper weight?)

Foiled again!

Well, looks like super sleuth, Dick Tracy forgot that a security camera is a step or two below all of the other high-tech gizmos and gadgets that failed during the first robbery.  All that last frame needs is a hand whacking him in the forehead.  Better luck next time.

Ominous conditions

The woodland scouts are out, carefully monitoring the group every step of the way.  I wonder if this is the same shadowy squirrel from a previous comic.  He still is enshrouded somewhat in the shadows, so I'm not about to say that it's not.  I wonder if Moss Green is in on the plan with Cherry and the Doctor.  (With a name like Moss Green, growing up he had no choice but to pick a career associated with the forest.  Oh sure, at one point he probably gave a report about becoming a doctor or something like that, but it was probably met with a disapproving head shake and the suggestion to have a look at the books about wildlife, forests, and the outdoors.)

How convenient that they'll have to stop and make camp in the middle of nowhere.  The fact that a storm is coming just sweetens the deal.  If the animals are going to do anything, that would be the perfect time.  After all, anything can happen in the chaos of a storm.

We will fight her in the forests. We will fight her in the mountains. We will fight her in the rivers...

They're getting ready for you, Kelly.  They've heard your little plan to go into the mountains, and now the front line soldiers are taking their places and the defenses are being assembled.  They've lived there all their lives, and they're not going to let you just waltz in and ruin that for a few pictures.  Too bad you got on Cherry and the Doctor's bad side, otherwise, they wouldn't have felt the need to yell out their responses in order to let the others know you'll be in the area soon.

Kelly, Kelly, Kelly.  Turn back now before it's too late.  You don't know what you're up against.  It looks like the Avians have also begun to take notice.  I don't think they'll try anything though (after all, they just started their training program, so it's going to take a little time to get pumped up and into fighting form).  Still, they're going to monitor the situation closely.  After all, you should always keep an eye on what your enemies are up to, but you don't have to stop them from making a mistake (thanks Napoleon).

R.I.P. CPU

On Friday, June 20, at 5:00 p.m., my dear computer ceased to compute.

(I guess ten years really was too long.)

Everyone says I should get a new computer

Yet no one has offered to pay for it.

(Ten years isn't that old, is it?)

Up in the sky

I saw a rainbow today.

Movie Moments VIII: Who’s the father?

If you liked the Superman Returns movie, and found it touching and heartwarming that Superman and Lois now have a kid, you might want to skip this. If you’re curious about what I have to say, read on. For I suggest that Superman is not the father, and I have proof, well, sort of, if you look at it one way, maybe, it’s possible. You have been warned.

Now, let’s examine the facts: Sure, at times the kid seemed to have super strength and sight (I guess. That, or telepathy, I’m not sure), but those things only seemed to occur over water. Coincidence? I think not. Just think about it for a moment. Who better to jostle a boat, causing a piano to shoot backwards than a whale? And who better to let someone know that someone else is about to drown than a school of fish, a dolphin, or yes, a whale. And finally, if you’re watching at the very end, you’ll notice that the lad isn’t wearing Superman pajamas. No, he’s wearing Aquaman pajamas. Hmmm. Now, I’m not saying that Aquaman is his father (well, actually, I am), but Lois was with Cyclops when Superman returned. (He had just gotten over that whole Jean Grey thing, and I’m just going to come right out and say that in that movie, when he was standing by the water, looking all sad and pathetic, I expected him to break into the song "Jean." "Jean, Jean, you’re young and alive…" Okay, enough of that.)

My theory is that while Superman was gone, Lois moved on. I think she just worked her way through the Justice League (but not Batman because well, he has issues, and he’s only a part-timer). That was where she met Aquaman, and one thing led to another, and that thing led to the kid who might not really having a breathing problem, he just might be growing into his gills. But Aquaman is not a family man, and his life, his love, and his lady, is the sea (kind of reminds you of a song, doesn’t it?). So their love was not meant to be, but Lois could never forget him and moved into a home by the water on the off chance that he’d come back (which of course, he didn’t). Eventually, she moved on again, and once she was through with the Justice League, apparently Ms. Lane moved on to the X-Men, but before she could meet anyone else, Superman returned, and since she didn’t want to hurt his feelings, she told him the kid was his. Now you know, and knowing is half the battle (but please, don’t tell Superman).

How are your wilderness survival skills?

Uh oh. Looks like Kelly made herself another enemy when she released the Doctor’s deer. Having had enough of her shenanigans, he too has joined with the animals in their plot, but instead of hoping that Kelly just leaves, or some calamity of her own making occurs, he’s sending her right out into the forest where her enemies lie in wait. I guess hospitality only goes so far, and once you start messing with an old man’s deer, you get what’s coming to you.

Bad move, Kelly.

It’s not that he fears for the safety of the deer. It’s that he knows they’ll go off to the other animals, and then they’ll come back with reinforcements to exact their revenge. Those "Don’t Feed The Animals" signs are there for a reason, you know. Kelly better watch her back. Who knows how long those deer have been there. Who knows what they’ve learned. If I were her, I’d pack up and get out of Lost Forest before that’s no longer an option.

And on a side note: If this wasn’t a daily comic strip read by impressionable, young readers, I’d swear that we’d just stepped into some sort of horror movie in which the animals are just about to go nuts and the only guy who knows what’s going on (usually a nice, older gentleman) is about to meet a very bad, if not messy, end.

Dance break!

I just watched a banner ad. It was one of those ads with the dancing people that usually drive me crazy. This one was different though. It struck me as weird because when it popped up, instead of the usual shadowy figure or something like that, there was a skeleton (which seems like the kind of thing you’d have at Halloween, not the middle of June. Not that I’m saying you should have to see the dancing people ever.). Still, I watched that skeleton dance because at the time I was listening to music and it looked like the skeleton was dancing to the music. In fact, I watched that skeleton dance until the song was over and even clicked on the close button to make it stop dancing when the song ended. Then I closed it. I had no desire to learn my credit score, but apparently I had a desire to see a dancing skeleton. Weird.

They’re doing it for him.

I tried not to. Honest to goodness I tried, but folks, the fact is, there is something going on in the forest. I tried to ignore it, but the evidence just keeps stacking up. Yes, the Avians are still a threat, and there is no doubt in my mind that they will continue to be a threat, but right now, until they’re done with their calisthenics and strength training exercises, they’re out of the picture. Which brings me to Kelly Welly. It seems that the animals think she’s a big enough threat that something should, nay, must, be done.No Bambi! Don’t do it! Remember what happened to your mother! Now, it’s been awhile since I last saw Bambi, but I’m pretty sure that dear old dad wasn’t around by the time Bambi had the antlers. But maybe dad has come back as an elderly buck, needing to be taken care of by his son. Whatever the case may be, he sure doesn’t seem to want Bambi to step out of the forest, and given the track record for this family and clearings, I’m not surprised. Still, that deer sure has a determined look on its face, like it’s supposed to be doing something, something sinister. Watch out for the antlers Kelly. He may have been a sweetheart in the movies, but this isn’t the movies.
So Kelly Welly has finally arrived…and looks a lot like Cherry except she has a slightly different hairstyle and kicky neckerchief. Her appearance, along with who I can only guess is the next Brawny Man, has not gone unnoticed. The first time I saw this, I just thought, "Oh, looks like Squirrel is going to sound the alarm to the other animals to be on guard." Then I noticed the shadowy, poofy-tailed figure on the other branch. There’s something sinister about him. I think it’s the intense way that he’s staring at the humans in the distance. He’s watching. Calculating. Waiting for the perfect moment to strike. Watch yourself, Kelly. You and the Brawny Man had better be on your best behavior, because I suspect one false move will bring death from above in a hail of acorns.
Now I’m starting to think that Cherry might be in on the forest animals' plot. Why else would she serve her guests ice? (Not flavored ice. Not Popsicles. Not shaved ice. Not Italian Ice. Not snow cones. Just plain old, tap water ice.) As she does this, the animals continue to quietly carry out their plan. While Bambi and the squirrels keep a close eye on the cabin, Mr. Turtle is off getting the poisonous mushrooms that might just find their way into the salads of Kelly and Brawny. The animals must think that they won’t need to take that drastic of a step though, since after he gets them, it will probably take Mr. Turtle a week or so to get to the cabin (which seems to have been transported from the forest clearing to the prairie and transformed into what looks like some sort of compound. Who knows what it will look like next time).

(On a side note, Mark might want to look out. Brawny Man might try to steal Cherry away. Maybe he should cut that camping trip with Rusty short.)

Graduations and existence

Yesterday, as I was leaving the movies, I overheard two people, who I assumed were parents, talking about an upcoming Fifth Grade Graduation. Those things just strike me as odd. I never had a Fifth Grade Graduation. I never had a Kindergarten Graduation. I only had graduations for the big things like High School and College, and I’m fine with that. In fact, I’m more than fine with it because I don’t really see the point to the other graduations. I believe that Bob Parr (A.K.A. Mr. Incredible) said it best when he said this about his son’s Fourth Grade Graduation: "It's psychotic! They keep creating new ways to celebrate mediocrity, but if someone is genuinely exceptional..." Of course, that’s just my opinion, and like I said, I didn’t have all of those little meaningless, I mean, nice, meaningful, graduations that I guess I should have, so my view is probably skewed.

It all just makes me wonder when people got so soft that they quite recognizing achievement? I mean, let’s face it, there are people that are better at some things than other people. You know it, I know it, we all know it, and we all knew it growing up too, so why are we afraid to say it? I’m just waiting for my "Existence Awards" to become reality. I can see it now: "Welcome to the Existence Awards. You exist, good for you! Here’s a plaque. It doubles as a hat rack, a key hook, or a coaster."

Memories

I never learned the little story that should have helped me remember the order of the planets (at least, I don’t remember learning it). I just learned the names of the planets and the order they came in (except for those weird times when two of them switched places, but I guess with the demotion of Pluto, that’s not a problem anymore…for other people. To me, Pluto is, and always will be, a planet. Go Pluto!) I do wonder if there are some little stories out there that now just end for no apparent reason since Pluto’s not officially a planet anymore.

But the planets aren’t the only group that made me try to remember a story. There was also Physics Class where I had to learn something about kangaroos hopping down driveways, and I still generally remember what those stand for, but I also remember that at times I spent more time figuring out what they were hopping down than what the word was actually supposed to represent.

Moving along this same train of thought, I can't forget my dear Aunt Sally, even though I'm pretty sure no one ever tried to teach her story to me (I guess she represents that relative you only hear whispers about, but never get to meet). I know that she has something to do with math, but I got along quite well without knowing exactly what, so I guess it doesn't really matter that I don't know. All in all, when I have to remember a list of things, I generally find it easier to just make up a new word by stringing all of the letters together, but that’s just me, and people have told me I've crazy.

Now, I can't end this before I talk about the months, and the story/poem thing about which ones have thirty days and which have thirty-one and all that stuff. I never did learn that one, but I do know what order the months come in thanks to the song I learned in Second Grade:

January, February, March they’re cool.
April, May, and June out of school.
July and August and September it’s fall.
October and November and December that’s all.

Frankly, I’ve found that a lot more useful than the how many days are in each month one (isn’t that was calendars are for?). I suppose I should try to learn it, but I usually screw the numbers up, or forget what the story/poem is supposed to say. I just know it has the word "hath" in it.

Everything is going according to plan.

Yeah, sure. You see, the reason that your "high-tech" surveillance gadgets and doodads didn’t work is because they only work in imagination land, and those crooks just didn’t want to play along. It also must be cold in the office since Shirl has decided to put on the gloves knit by her dear, sweet Grandma Josephine, even though she outgrew them when she was nine.

I do like how the chief can apparently read with his eyes closed. At least, I’m assuming that his eyes are closed. Otherwise, they are just two white planes of vast emptiness that make Shirl’s reverse eyes far more pleasing and desirable.

And speaking of Shirl, she looks pretty angry in that last panel, what with her soulless eye reduced to nothing more than a white slit. Tracy, on the other hand, looks pretty pleased with himself, which might not be the best expression to have on your face after you’ve been told that the latest gadgetry the police department bought with the money set aside for next year’s budget was rendered useless. Oh, and they lost track of the getaway the car, so there’s that too. Not exactly the news you should greet with the "I’m so cool" look on your face.

On second thought…

I just looked at the strip again and saw a much darker panel two than even the first post would have suggested. Sure, read one way, it’s the Avians continuing on with their nefarious plot to take over the world, but read another way, it’s Mark Trail using some of his woodland friends to get rid of an annoyance. If you read it as the one bird saying the "You’ve got to give me a little credit, Mark…" and the Bird doing the chin-ups as saying "I can take care of Kelly." It looks like the animals are going to take the matter into their own hands (or paws, wings, whatever) and rid Mark of the Kelly menace once and for all. That one’s a little scary. I think I’ll stick with the original interpretation. I’ll be able to sleep better that way. (But if all clues point the other way, I'll have no choice.)

The comeback begins

Not to be deterred by their recent failure, the Avians are getting right back up on the world domination horse, but this time they’re taking a slightly different approach and pumping up. Those spindly bird legs just aren’t cutting it, but a few reps on the tree branch should get them whipped into shape. Perhaps they’re the ones behind the sudden appearance of Ms. Welly. Maybe it’s a plot to distract Mark from the big picture, and create discord in his life with Cherry. After all, he ruined their plans for Bill the Wonder Pup. They’ve got to be wanting some sort of revenge, and it looks like they’re going after the swift kind, not the kind that’s best served cold.

Teapots

The first thing that came to mind when I saw this was "Shirl’s a little teapot, short and stout. Here is her handle. Where is the spout?" Then I looked at the previous Dick Tracy post and saw that Dick was also in the midst of the "I’m a little teapot" pose, though he was clearly at the spout part of the song (and would have completed the move if it hadn’t been for the mini computer in his hand). Another thing about Shirl in this particular comic is that she looks a lot like an older version of Jane Lane from Daria. It’s good to see that Jane’s found work, but I’m wondering if she’s still doing her art, and how all the other people in Lawndale are doing. I miss that show.

But back to the police department. Here we have the miscellaneous officer whose name we’ll never learn. Let's call him Thaddeus. I’ve got some serious reservations about this mission since it looks like Thaddeus here wants to be a James Bond villain and has decided that it's the perfect time to practice petting an invisible cat. (He might also want to be The Claw from Inspector Gadget, but I haven’t heard his voice, so I can’t be sure.) In case the super villain thing falls through, at least he has his music since it looks like he isn’t sitting in front of a computer, but is instead at some sort of electronic keyboard with a screen. Kind of reminds me of the thing Synergy always carried around on Jem (or at least the thing that came with the Synergy doll). This career path may not pan out either though, since judging by the pained expression on Tracy’s face, Officer Thaddeus doesn’t seem to have any talent (maybe he should try the Bossa Nova beat in the background.) He must be really into the music though, because he doesn’t even notice his headphones are falling off (that, or there’s a crab on his other shoulder reaching around to pinch his ear.).
Then again, I guess I shouldn’t be so worried about the police force since the crooks who just robbed the bank are making sure to leave a nice wide trail of spilled milk or paint in their wake. If the police can’t follow this to the hideout, then I'm tempted to change my occupation and take up a life of crime in this city. It could really pay off.

It also looks like our friend/enemy Shirl is the latest victim of T-Rex Arms. It's a shame too. She’s just about to tell Tracy that she caught a fish this big, only now, with the current state of her arms, it’s going to be just a regular sized trout that any respectable fisherman would throw back. (I would say she’s in the middle of a performance of "Singin’ in the Rain," but she’s indoors and I'm not sure they have sprinklers at the station, so I’ll stick with the fishing.) Speaking of T-Rex Arms, I’m wondering how Tess is faring with this ailment and whether she’s still in bed or has somehow miraculously recovered.

The longest word.

I wanted to find out what the longest word in the English language was.
Apparently, so do a lot of people because no one can seem to agree on it.

Yeah, we all know you can play, but I want to watch them.

It is my opinion that celebrity golf tournaments are more fun to watch when the celebrities aren't necessarily that good at golf, but are still having a good time playing.
Let's face it, it’s just never been as much fun to watch since the time that Wayne Gretzky, Ahmad Rashad, and Charles Barkley were so far behind that they ended up playing for The Championship Of The World.
(That, and Wayne hit his ball into a tree and Charles had to reach up and poke it out with a club.)

It's high-tech!

Sort of. I think. Maybe. At least we still have our two MINI-COMPUTERS, which now appear to be different, so I’m thinking that they’re still refining the technology and one of those is obsolete (I’m guessing that it’s not Dick’s, although his appears to require a number two pencil, so who knows.). The computers I understand, but the other "high-tech" gadgets are a bit puzzling. Looking at the panel, it would appear as though the gadgets were an iron, an iPod (or a calculator), and the goal post from a paper football game (because sometimes you just don’t want to use your fingers). Apparently, these things are gun scanners, body vital sign senders, and high speed ID (and if anyone could tell me what the last two are exactly, that would be nice because right now I’m not too sure, and it seems more like a bunch of high-tech sounding words were just sort of thrown together). I think what I like the most is the "high-tech" police typewriter behind Shirl. I’m just wondering where they plug in some of the of the devices that will no doubt be collecting information because last I knew, the typewriter didn’t have that capability (and if it did, I would think that they’d just call it a computer). There’s also the telephone with no buttons or rotary mechanism, but I suppose if you’ve got a wrist-radio, or a cell phone, you don’t really need an office phone, so it’s probably just for show.

On the other side of the law, "B" appears to be less interested in the high-tech gadgets and the heist, and more interested in finding out what he’d look like if he had a bigger nose (or if he was Pinocchio and told a lie). Maybe he’s getting ready to change his identity (either through a disguise or surgery). I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.

On a sad note, T-Rex Arms may be spreading, as in the final panel, Dick Tracy appears to be the next victim. We’ll just have to wait and see whether this is a permanent disability, or only a temporary condition. If it were any other character, I would doubt the chances of a recovery, but this is Dick Tracy, and the strip is named after him, so I have to believe that he’s got some sort of extra strength that will help him overcome this and achieve a full recovery.

If the humans won't tell us, the animals will.

This post has nothing to do with the name Kelly Welly, or what I think about the name Kelly Welly.
It also has nothing to do with the microscope designed by Moe Howard that looks as though you have an equally likely chance of poking your eyes out with it as you do seeing any microscopic organisms.
Instead, this post focuses on my favorite part of this strip, which is panel two, in which we are introduced to our friend Moose, also known as the narrator who fills us in on the little background details we should probably already know. It is this panel that I cannot read without inevitably hearing a moose-like voice in my head (if a moose could actually speak English, that is), and every time I hear it, it makes me laugh. Moose is not plotting anything. Moose is just letting us know that Mark and Kelly have a history. He's letting us know because he knows very well that we will not go to the trouble of actually looking up who Kelly Welly is, and he's right. Thank you, Moose.

A heartwarming story

of sea monsters.
Yes. Sea monsters. When I saw the ad for this movie, which they’re showing at the science museum (or, used to be showing at the science museum), it got me thinking. You never hear happy stories about sea monsters. You only hear about them attacking ships and sailors and causing damage and wreaking havoc. You only hear about the bad things, and let’s be honest, over the years, sea monsters have gotten a lot of bad press. Still, it looks like the people who make IMAX movies for science museums are trying to change that, and I say good for them. If their movie can bring me that much closer to finding a globe with sea monsters of it, then I say more power to them and bring on the monsters.