Movie Moments X: Welcome To The Empire School Of Tough Love.

However you may feel about the Star Wars prequels, I have found them to provide more than a few unintentionally funny moments, and this is but one of them.  Before I get to the actual moment, there are a couple of others that don't really seem to warrant a moment of their own, but are somewhat vital to this moment.  It all begins in Episode III: The Revenge of the Sith, at a point where I am sure that I am supposed to feel sorry for Anakin since he has now gone insane, lost his remaining real limbs, and caught fire.  Still, every time I see it, I cannot help but hear the little narrator in my head say, "And then Anakin found out what it's like to be a hamburger."  Then later, when they've scooped up the remains and taken him back to the auto shop to be put back together, I can't help but wonder why their little medical pod, with all of those snazzy high tech capabilities, doesn't have some sort of force field that can protect Anakin's oh so fragile charred skin from being rained on.  My only guess is that if there was one, they purposely left it turned off to try to get rid of the smell of burned Jedi since they don't seem to do a lot of wound cleaning before the droids start popping new limbs on to him like Lego pieces.

It is only after this that the moment I'm really waiting for happens, and again, I don't think I'm feeling what I'm supposed to.  I know that I'm supposed to feel his pain about thinking that he killed Padme and all, but when Darth does his Frankenstein walk off of the slab and goes, "Nooooooooooooooo!" I cannot help but add another brief moment to the scene where the Emperor takes his cane and whacks him on the helmet while saying, "There will be no whining in my Empire!"  Then I laugh, and I know that I shouldn't, but I really can't help it, and I can't watch that scene without that little addition popping into my mind because it just makes so much sense.  I mean, come on, the guy becomes feared across the universe, and does unspeakable things to the poor huddled masses (and there's probably a lot of things that we don't know about too.).  A guy who does nothing but whine would never that.  (Sure, he can cause some damage, but all of that widespread intimidation and fear would disappear the moment he went from being an intergalactic terror to a whiny five year old who didn't get the animal cracker he wanted.)  Something had to have happened in the sixteen or so years it took to build the first Death Star, and I think that what that something was, was The Empire School Of Tough Love.  (It's like camp, if camp were all about getting rid of those last shreds of humanity.)