Is this really the face of a madman?

Time passes, and Tess continues on with her story about Dr. Noll, who is apparently not only a scientist, but also an entrepreneur.  I guess it makes sense.  I mean, if he's going to be built up as a mad scientist, or crazy loner scientist, then I guess the whole teamwork thing is out and by making Tess and her friends do all of the real work he doesn't have to leave the house except for the occasional trip to the chemical warehouse, or the grocery store, or the lab coat and beaker store, or the park to the feed the ducks.  I tell you this though, if I had to work with a mad scientist type, he'd be the one.  Look at him.  He just looks so happy mixing those two chemicals (which could actually just be the powder and hot water needed for hot chocolate, but we'll stick with the chemical angle for now).  In the process of telling her story, it would seem that all of Tess's arm waving has caused the need to discard the vest she was wearing in the previous strip.  (If Dick was looking to escape, that would have been the time, when her head was covered and her arms otherwise occupied.  Alas, he missed his one and only chance of escape.)

Meanwhile, while Tess continues on with her story of a possible future perfume company, the CIA have been talking with Diet Smith, and I guess now the Chief, about some old employee who apparently caused a massive explosion at his last job.  Gee, wonder who that could be.

We went a little crazy on the Fourth of July.

Free from the strict dress code of the police station, Dick has taken off his jacket and tie, and even unbuttoned the top button of his shirt.  Now he's ready to have Tess regale him with the tale of her brief encounter with Professor Noll (or Dr. Noll as Dick is now calling him, which I suppose is just about the same thing, sort of).  Unfortunately, Tess and the other neighborhood woman that made up the group (who also seems to be her dark-haired doppelganger) were a little tipsy when they paid their visit to the good doctor (or whoever they think was the good doctor.  That side view doesn't seem like the same guy mixing chemicals from the previous strip.  It also looks like he isn't answering the door at all and is in fact hanging a picture of two women in a snowstorm, but that could just be me.).  Taking advantage of her preoccupation with telling the story, Dick tries to sneak out of the strip, only to be noticed moments before he could disappear, forcing him to poke his head back in to let Tess know that he's still sort of paying attention.  (You almost made it, Dick.  You were so close.  Why did you turn back?  Why?)

The gang's all here.

So the mystery man is named Joe.  It would have been nice to have known that before now, but I guess better late than never.  Despite the fact that there's a good chance that Salty and Sour have never seen Joe before, and despite the fact that they're both probably armed, Mark, armed with a single shot gun that might or might not be loaded, and backed up by two unarmed civilians (one of whom seems to be having a case of the vapors or some sort of medical problem that has yet to be revealed) who haven't exactly proven themselves to be capable of taking care of themselves, has just taken care of the rest of his pursuers.  Now he faces the problem of what to do about the two hatted ones and their green shirted accomplice (especially since the last panel looks more like Mark is holding Shelly and Pop at gunpoint rather than pointing the gun to keep Salty, Sour, and Joe in check).  Perhaps he'll make them repair the swamp buggy and then take them to the authorities, or maybe Rabbit (and possibly Peter) are hiding just off-panel, waiting for the right moment to step out of the dying foliage and turn the tables on Mark.  (If I were them, I'd make sure that I knew where Andy was since he's proved time and time again that he's more than capable of saving the day on his own.)  

Unsettling.

First he's dead.  Now he's alive.  You know what this means, don't you?  Andy is a zombie (or at least he's playing one in this comic).  Once again, Mark needs Andy to help him save the day as he leaps out of the bushes to tackle one of his enemies.  (Okay, maybe leap out of the bushes is the wrong term since it looks more like he was shot out of a cannon, one probably constructed out of the remains of the swamp buggy, put together during a musical montage of carrying things and hands doing various tasks a la The A-Team.)  That is some tackle Mark has there.  It not only knocked the gun from the guy's hand, but it also knocked the hat from his head and caused it to hang suspended in the air for a few moments.  The tiny bugs flying around the swamp are even getting in on the action by yelling "Surprise!" just before Mark takes the guy out.  (Looks like things might be wrapping themselves up after all.)
With an additional awkward kick, Mark takes care of one of his kidnappers (who we only know is one of his kidnappers because the narration bar tells us he is, not because we've actually seen him on the boat or anywhere near Mark, unless Mark has been on the run for longer than I thought and old Salty has grown himself a beard).  Now that Mark is firmly in control, it's time to start taking care of his pursuers, and that means gathering them all together.  While Mr. Beard might not have been willing to comply with Mark's demands initially, it only took a giant Andy to begin devouring him to change his mind.  (Who knew that Saint Bernards could grow like that.  Maybe he's been exposed to gamma radiation and is now like the Hulk.)  Now all that's left is to wait for Salty and Sour to show up, and once they're taken care of, Mark can go Rabbit hunting.

Well, well, well. Look who's back.

If it isn't Dr. Otter and Faline Adler (I am wondering what Sherlock Hooves is up to, but maybe he'll show up later).  I trust that the investigation is going well, or at least I'd trust that the investigation was going well if it didn't look like you two were still examining the same fallen tree that you were looking at the last time you appeared.  Still, perhaps it's all a ruse.  You're using the tree as a way to get close enough to Mark and Shelly to hear what they know, add it to the information that you've already collected, and finally solve the case (even though I think that we can all agree that The Case Of The Missing Swamp Water was pretty much solved when Shelly confessed that it was her company that was taking the water away).

And Shelly, dear, sweet Shelly (who may or may not be a pod person).  You really don't know anyone who would do such a thing?  What about certain people that you work with who have a tendency to kick defenseless plants and try to break into your office/apartment?  You know, jealousy can do strange things to a person's mind.  (Or is it that you're trying to protect him because if he's captured, Peter will reveal your true identities to Mark to get some time shaved off of his sentence?)

It speaks!

Despite not having a visible mouth, and showing no capacity for speech in the past, the Jack Eldrod Ball has finally broken its silence.  (Unlike certain giant robots, the Ball has a grasp of all letters of the alphabet and therefore doesn't drop any in its communications.)  After years of following Mark around, perhaps it felt that it was time to finally begin to reveal the extent of its knowledge and its many secrets (or maybe this was just a fluke and it's been trying to conceal the fact that it could talk for years because the moment it starts it can no longer be viewed as the silent partner of this comic strip).  We will have to wait and see whether it will continue to speak, or whether it will fall silent once more, hoping that Mark, Pop, and Shelly will forget this outburst and not expect any more from it in the future.

Getting back to the comic, it turns out that Mark didn't need Pop and Shelly after all.  In fact, it appears as though they're the ones who need him.  Good thing Pop chose to drive his swamp buggy, otherwise Mark might have thought that someone else was in trouble and might not have investigated the abandoned vehicle (that, or he might have just decided to steal it to get back to the cabin).  His appearance seems to have also caused the Quail attack to be called off (who knew those little guys were so bloodthirsty), though with Salty and Sour still prowling the swamp, this potentially dangerous situation is far from over.

I'm sure that will help.

Yes, if only people would realize that so many of the world's problems could be solved by cookies, there would be no war and everyone would live in a rainbow world of happiness, sunshine, and cuddly puppies.  (But alas, the world is not like that, so good luck with those cookies, Tess.)  Tess, still trying to cope with her T-Rex arms, has called in the Fabulous Flying Kitchen Fairies to assist her in the delivery of cookies and other aspects of her everyday life, though I'm not sure what else they're able to do besides hovering on either side of her, holding up plates of random food.  (I don't know about you, but those are the weirdest cookies I've ever seen.  In fact, if I hadn't been told that they were cookies, I'd think that they were mashed potatoes or JELL-O.)  

Ah, but wait, this could be interesting.  I think we've just been introduced to the mysterious Professor Noll, who apparently is a mad scientist complete with a dark laboratory filled with hanging wires and strange chemicals.  I just have to say that that last frame reminds me of the Choose Your Own Adventure book, The Green Slime (which just so happens to be one of my favorite CYOA books).  I can't wait to see where this story goes (and I'm hoping that Professor Noll isn't just going to have a bit part or random appearance because if there's slime to be made, I want to be there when it happens, and when it all goes horribly wrong).

A tale of woe and quail.

It would appear that Pop and Shelly's great swamp adventure has reached its expected end with the Victorian swampmobile breaking down beside a broken down tree.  They did everything they could to get the old girl running again, including calling in the invisible mechanics, but it seems that their only hope of finding Mark is destined to become just another rusted relic to be consumed by the swamp (if the swamp ever gets wet again).  The Quail have been monitoring the ill-fated expedition from the beginning, and are now flying off to tell their superiors what has happened.  I fear that one of the quail isn't going to get very far as the poor thing is about to fly into the painted background as evidenced by its close proximity to its own shadow appearing mysteriously in the sky.  (It sort of reminds me of The Wizard Of Oz where it looks like Dorothy and Toto are going to run into the background as they leave Munchkinland.)  

Poor Pop.  Encountering failure after failure seems to have taken a toll on the guy and he just can't take it any more.  I think he's about ready to give up, relegating himself to spend the rest of his days wallowing in self-pity beside the rusting remains of his vehicle and a couple of dead trees.  One can only hope that the amnesia he suffered shortly after his first attempt to find Mark will reappear before he's eaten by an alligator and he'll think that he just stopped for a short rest.

Shelly, on the other hand, refuses to give up just yet.  After all, she's still probably feeling pretty guilty about this mess and this is really only her first attempt to find Mark, so she's still running on a fairly positive attitude.  She also seems to have somehow gotten her brain to start working again as she suggests that instead of running off into the swamp unarmed, alone, and without a real plan, that they contact the rangers, who probably know a lot more about the swamp than they do.  (They also may be able to take down a few wanted posters from the walls of the station if they can apprehend Salty, Sour, and Rabbit.)

Overcoming adversity.

After what felt like an eternity, the robot story has been wrapped up and it would seem that we're finally moving on, though a series of mysterious panels showing Diet talking on the phone with Tess are still wandering around in my mind, trying to make sense of themselves.  I wonder if Tess was calling him about her condition, since her T-Rex arms seem to have stabilized but not reversed, as has been the experience of other characters.  Could she have been calling about getting help for her condition only to be turned down?  We'll have to wait and see.  For the moment we should just be grateful that the poor woman was finally able to pull herself out of bed and get dressed.

In other news, it seems that Dick's (or Tess's) obsession with coffee cups is taking its toll on the Tracy household as the door in panel one seems to have some sort of mug handle on it.  Panel two points to more troubling obsessiveness as Tracy seems to lose track of what he's saying the moment he sees that coffee cup perched precariously on some molding.  (I must admit that even I am impressed by whatever is in that mug as it seems to be able to spell out letters  with steam.)

The third panel brings in the possibility of a new character: the mysterious Professor Noll (could his name perhaps be G. K. Noll?).  We'll have to wait and see whether this mention leads to an actual character, or if it's merely a name mentioned in passing never to be heard from or seen (Lt. Teevo, I'm looking at you).  Panel three also gives the first glimpse of what our intrepid detective looks like when he actually lets his hair down (and I must say that I think I prefer the slicked back detective look to the wolf man look).  One can only wonder if this is but another throw away strip, or the beginning of some new case.  (One can also wonder if we're ever going to see that work of art Dab Stract gave them, but I think we all know the answer to that.)

What does that thing run on?

That is some vehicle Pop has there.  It looks like it's part tractor, part old-timey automobile, and part monster truck.  (I take it that he and Shelly won't be using the element of surprise in their hunt for Mark.)  Meanwhile, Salty and Sour have discovered that Mark is gone (and Sour seems to have decided to change his shirt.  Maybe he wanted to be a lime.  Personally, I'm waiting for the limon shirt to make an appearance).  The genius of their little conversation is that it still makes sense even if you only use the bold letters.  (Idiot gone!  What?  See, you don't need all of those unnecessary filler words when three will do.  When times are tough, you have to always be looking for ways to cut back.)  And in another turn of events indicating that no one in this strip really has any idea what's going on, I think that Mark has just run into Sneaky (or his cousin Crafty) and is now moving through the swamp alone.  One has to wonder where Andy and the Jack Elrod Ball have wandered off to (and why the Ball is now with Salty and Sour), and why getting Mark out of the swamp suddenly turned into getting Mark out of the country.  Is he that great of a threat?  Just what can one unarmed man, who's more likely to deal the forces of evil a blow with his fist than with a gun, do?  (Should someone have called in the Marines, the Army, or the Coast Guard?)

The shopper's dilemma.

Too many groceries to carry.

Too few to really justify using a cart.

What gave you that idea?

I'm just wondering what it was about that boat that made Mark assume that Salty and Sour were smugglers.  Did he find a Smuggler's Manifesto?  Did he find crates of exotic animals or drugs below deck (even though it would seem that he spent all of his time above deck)?  Did he find a super villain with an eye patch?  These are but a few questions we will have to leave unanswered for now.    

In order to prevent Mark and Andy from getting lost in the swamp, the Great White Heron has offered its services, leading them back to the safety of Pop and Pamela's cabin, where Sue has suddenly appeared, and feeling guilty, offered to help Pop find the missing nature expert.  (Yeah, this should turn out well.  The guy who forgot he was looking for Mark pairs up with the woman whose only strategy for escaping an alligator was to dance.  I think they'll end up needing Mark and Andy's help before this is all over.) 

It would also seem that not content to settle for merely relying on the humans and animals that inhabit the swamp, the Jack Elrod Ball has called in the insects, from the mighty dragonfly to the tiny flea on a dog's knee to the invisible gnats hovering in the air by a cabin, these tiny helpers surely must know something about what's going on.  They truly are the most heroic members of this story as they're even willing to put their lives in great danger since so many are viewed as a food source for of the Avians.

And as a final thought, if Mark was so worried about Salty and Sour getting away, why didn't he tie them up before he left, disable the boat, or have one or more of the animals stand guard?  It's what I would have done.

It is what it is, but still...

Bad news you stumble upon is worse than bad news told to your face.

He's super and fabulous.

And he's doing it all without opposable thumbs.  What a dog that Andy is.  Truly remarkable.  

That Andy is able to so easily loosen Salty's knot is either saying something fantastic about Andy or something bad about Salty's knot tying abilities.  (I'll leave answering that up to you.)  Unfortunately, it would appear that the concept of a dog untying knots has thrown the whole comic out of sorts, casting Mark out of the relatively safe confines of the boat in the swamp to this strange limbo where ominous shadows creeping in at the corners are held at bay by the great big spotlight in the sky.  

This leaves me to wonder what will happen when Andy finally does free Mark.  When the rope falls away will Mark cease to exist or find himself perpetually falling through limbo because he so rashly discarded the one object still anchoring him to the comic dimension he had made his home in for all of these long years?  

All aboard.

With help from the renegade Great Blue Herons (who may or may not be in league with the Great White Herons), Andy was able to track down Mark and the boat belonging to Salty and Sour.  Yup, it's really easy to sneak aboard unnoticed when there are only two people on the boat, and those two people both decide to take a nap at the same time.  (I'm guessing this is their first kidnapping.)  I was also under the impression that old Salty was supposed to get rid of Mark, not just sail for an indeterminate distance and then stop, set up a gangplank, and wait for Rabbit.  (Salty, Salty, Salty.  I'm not sure that Rabbit will give you the money if you don't do what he wanted you to do, i.e., get rid of Mark.)

And while Mark seems to be happy to see Andy (and to a lesser extent, the Jack Elrod ball, which has done more about both the fighting ring and the disappearing wetland than all of the other characters combined), unless he has a knife or steel jaws or acid drool, I think Mark's still in pretty much the same position he was in before Andy arrived (though now, at least, he does have some company).

So much to cut.

So much to write.

He lives!

With the demise of Braces (did you really think that he was going to survive?) and the arrest of his minions (who really should have gotten him out of there before he had the chance to be electrocuted), the story seemed to have been wrapping itself up, but it would appear that there's still a little more left to tell.  After kicking off Magnum's head (which I guess wasn't electrified) Tracy thought that that was the end of his robotic adventures, but no, it turns out that TRAZE-R is still alive.  (One would think that he would then take the time to point out that he wasn't the one to destroy Magnum, as everyone seems to think, but that it was little Buzz who did it, but I guess since Buzz isn't around to get angry or point this out, he's going to let it slide and take all the glory.  Nice, TRAZE-R.  Real nice.)

Now all that's left to do is winch TRAZE-R back into his trailer and take him to the shop to get repaired (at least until the department gets the estimate and decides that they just don't have the money in the budget to repair him, and that he's actually worth more being sold for scrap).  I do find it a little unsettling that the winch appears to be connected to Tracy's forehead.  I'm also wondering how those broken wheels and axles are going to make it up that steep incline and into the trailer.  (I think it'd be easier to get a crane or skid steer and lift him up with that, but that's just me.)

And as a side note, I do like that it looks like Tracy is now wearing spats (and that he might also be a scarecrow).

I just want to know why.

Why did they cut Sam The Eagle's song from "The Muppet Christmas Carol"?  It's a nice song.  So what if it didn't necessarily advance the plot.  It's still fun and really, how many songs has this poor guy been given to sing over the course of this career?

And for that matter, why did they cut the song by Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and Beaker?  Why would they deprive people of listening to Beaker sing?  It's a good, fun song too.  Is it because Bunsen wears glasses but has no eyes?

I can't help it if it's true.

(http://xkcd.com comic 231)

( http://xkcd.com comic 251)

Movie Moments XVI: But he's so cute!

This moment is brought to you by "The Lord Of The Rings: The Fellowship Of The Ring."  It is one of several moments from the trilogy, and I believe marks the first appearance of the mysterious narrator in my head who plays such a vital role at the very end.  This moment occurs shortly after Frodo has been stabbed on Weathertop and Aragorn has determined there isn't anything he can do, so it's up to Arwen to take Frodo to Rivendell where he can get the help he needs.  What kicks off the moment is when Aragorn basically says that if nothing is done, Frodo will become a wraith, his words later supported by the poor guy's rapid decline throughout the chase.

Oh Frodo, I know that I'm supposed to be scared for you.  I know that I'm suppose to think that you becoming a Ringwraith is a bad thing.  I do.  It's just, whenever that part happens, thanks to my friend Jen, I hear the voice of the narrator in my head saying, "And the littlest Ringwraith toddled off to Mordor."  Then I laugh because I picture the line of nine Ringwraiths and at the very end, a tenth, miniature wraith on a miniature horse, who is always lagging behind because he can't keep up very well, what with the stubby little legs of both horse and rider.  I am truly sorry.  

(No I'm not.)

Splinters of the Empire.

Taking a cue from Rex Morgan, Pop has decided that he doesn't want to go looking for Mark until he's had a good meal.  Actually, it looks more like he worked himself into such a state, that after forgetting to eat, he forgot that he was supposed to be looking for Mark.  I'd be suspicious of him.  He could be a pod person who, after disposing of the real Pop, forgot that he was supposed to be out looking for Mark (though why any self-respecting alien would choose Pop, I have no idea).  Never fear though, for Andy is still on the trail.  Where Sneaky has gone off to, I have no idea, but he hasn't been pulling his weight lately, so maybe he's stepping aside for the professionals to take over.  Of course, seeing as how the only professional now seems to be a big dog, if I were Mark, I'd be worried.

Meanwhile, the cabin in the swamp is having quite the conversation with a Great Blue Heron, who it would seem, is on Mark's side and has been summoned by the Jack Elrod ball to help Andy.  Could it be that there was a disagreement among the Great Blue Herons as to whether or not they should join the Avians, or did the discord begin after the Avians seeming lack of concern for the state of the swamp?  We'll just have to wait and see if the Herons have indeed divided, or if this is but another plot of the Avians to get closer to Mark, assuring his destruction.

The pottery that sort of grows.

I had a Chia hippopotamus.

He had Chia pattern baldness.

It was just too much power for one reindeer.

After watching "Rudolph, The Red-Nosed Reindeer" last night, I have come to this conclusion:

Comet is a jerk.  

I think that baseball cap and whistle went to his head.  I think the other little reindeer would probably have let Rudolph at least hang around, but he was the one who said he couldn't play any more reindeer games with them.  Jerk.

(I guess he changed at the end, but I don't remember him apologizing.  He had a pretty distinctive voice and I don't remember hearing it.  Of course, that could have had something to do with the fact that the guy who did Comet's voice was also the voice of Donner.)

Oh well.  I still love the movie.

(And I still like Comet and the other reindeer.)

Hindsight is 20/20.

The Avians continue to keep a close eye on their human pawns, making sure that Salty and Sour carry out the mission Rabbit has charged them with.  It seems that for now the Avians are tolerating the presence of the Jack Elrod ball, allowing it to tag along and monitor the situation from afar, but as a warning they've sent the fiendish Woodpecker Twins, Destroyers of Homes, who won't hesitate to pop the ball should it become too meddlesome.  By now Mark has realized the error of his ways.  He knows that he shouldn't have gone out alone and should have instead instituted the buddy system.  (Did the Sneaky incident teach you nothing, Mark?)  One can only wonder what horrors await him now.

But don't lose hope yet.  The cavalry is coming!  With Pop, Andy, Sneaky, and a coordinated swarm of bugs able to spell out words in the air (complete with punctuation), Mark won't be in danger for long.  (Unless they get distracted, or get in trouble, or get lost, or run into Rabbit, or walk into a trap.  Then all bets are off.)

What's the point?

The point is that there is no point, and if there was a point, it would be pointless.

He's going to smell like hot dogs!

Let this be a lesson to us all: if you're working with a giant robot, stealing old movies from a vault, and that robot has a few movies that he wants to take that you don't, just humor him and take the movies.  It's much safer than having to take the chance that said robot survives an explosion and still has enough power to electrocute you (or at least give you a good zap).

Does this mean that for Braces, his time in this comic is over, or that his braces are now fused together so he can't talk?  I'm not going to make any predictions or get my hopes up.  (I'm still reeling after the unfortunate demise of poor Buzz.)  Still, on the plus side, the residual electricity seems to have reversed the aging process in Roma (even if it did bring her forehead to life and grant it the gift of speech).

You dog.

It would appear that the Great Blue Heron wasn't going off to inform his superiors about Rabbit's capture of Mark.  Instead, he had to find a witness to the capture so that when he does stand before his superiors to deliver the news of Mark's capture they'll actually believe him.  (What can I say?  Just as the Galactic Empire wasn't built on sunshine, rainbows, and puppies, the Avian Empire was not built on trust, cooperation, and taking the fall for your own mistakes.)

So this is Rabbit's plan?  He's going to put Mark on a boat, manned by a guy named Salty (who seems to be carrying the back of a chair around), and sail him out of the swamp?  At least, I think that he's going to sail him out of everyone's hair and not just sail him out to shark infested waters and throw him overboard.  I hope that Rabbit realizes that Mark will just come back, be it on the boat, or riding on the back of a turtle or a shark.  I'm not sure that I'd peg all of my hopes for getting rid of a foe on a guy named Salty, but I suppose if my name was Rabbit, it might make perfect sense.  (And who's the guy in the shirt lifting the cement block?  Lemon?  Sour?  Lifty?)

And yet, through it all, through everything that has happened, and is threatening to happen, I'm still not convinced that there's any great danger here.  For all of the guns and dangerous looking characters, I think I would feel that Mark was in actual danger if it didn't look like he was just shrugging and saying, "Aw shucks," or taking a leisurely stroll, throughout this entire strip.

Let's try this again.

Those Avians are a tricky lot and Mark should know better than to turn his back on them and assume that just because some of the members of the Empire are hitting the gym that they all are.  Without Andy to watch his back, Mark falls prey to the majesty of the Great Blue Heron (clearly one of the more higher ranking Avians), who just happened to appear in the swamp at the exact same moment that Rabbit appeared with his club/gun.
And now it all becomes clear.  Rabbit is merely a pawn of the Avians, who over the years have amassed a great wealth that is more than capable of paying for whatever ne'erdowell, rapscallion, or hooligan necessary to make their dream of world domination come true.  With the Mark problem seemingly wrapping itself up, the Great Blue Heron takes off to alert the others.  These events all lead me to ask this question: is Peter working on his own, or is he merely a representative of the Avian Empire, working to further their goals in the hopes of being spared after the great uprising, and perhaps even being given some sort of position of power after they take over?

Buzz, we hardly knew ye.

There's really no use denying it.  Buzz is gone.  Panel four is pretty conclusive that the little guy blew himself apart for the good of humanity (and it's also conclusive that he wasn't filled with bees).  I'll always remember those seven days that he was a part of the comic.  He should be given a memorial medal for his service (but we all know that he won't.  This is going to be just like the Chewbacca fiasco from the end of "Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope" all over again.).  At least he went out with a dignified KA-THOOM.

With all of the robots out of commission, Braces and Tracy finally meet (and we also finally learn that the Mysterious Lady of Evil is named Roma, which makes the whole potting shed hideout make a lot more sense.  It only took how many weeks to learn who she was?).  It would seem that Braces might have also grown attached to old Magnum since he wants the remains, but somehow I doubt it.  I think that he just wants to make sure that the police can't pick apart the robot's brain and find out all of Braces' secrets.  

Finally able to face his foe, things start to look bad for Tracy since he and Mr. Police Hat appear to have forgotten their guns (though why Roma would bring a Derringer to a gun fight I'm not sure), but just when you think this story might be winding itself down amid a hail of gunfire, it turns out that Magnum survived the explosion and that Brace's Braces might be highly magnetic (which make his last words an unfortunate pun).  Quick, someone call an orthodontist!

But which one?

Tracy, it was a giant robot exploding.  You know that.  You've been hiding behind a bush watching the fight with a guy in a POLICE hat (or from certain angles, an ICE hat).  You had an excellent view of the explosion.  Pull it together, man!  Your expression leaves me a bit puzzled since you look slightly disgusted by what you're seeing, which can only mean that you've spotted an alien, a dead body, or that work of art you were given two stories back that we've never seen.    In fact, it seems that the mere sight of whatever it is has rendered you speechless, leaving it up to your ear to finally acknowledge that it can talk.

Meanwhile, Braces, who I am beginning to question the intelligence of for hanging around the crime scene long after he should have left, also doesn't seem to know what's going on.  (One thing I have noticed is that he changed out of his plotting suit into a turtleneck and blazer far more suitable for committing crimes.  I guess he had to make sure that everyone in his gang looked similar for identification purposes, but he still made sure to wear the coat so that everyone would know that he's in charge.)  If I were the Mysterious Evil Lady by his side, I'd grab his arm and drag him to the getaway car.  If he lingers around here any longer, I'm going to start thinking that he actually wants to be caught.

Finally, the only one who actually has enough sense to look and see what happened, Mr. Police Cap (formerly Mr. Ice) took the initiative to tell everyone what was going on, even if he's not being too specific as to which robot was the one to explode.  I think he's trying to make up for his earlier cowardice, and maybe by showing initiative he'll get a little something extra in the next paycheck, or at least a small holiday bonus.  I say that he deserves it.  After all, he's the only member of the force that actually came to Tracy's aid, even if it was by accident.  

(And just so you know, I'm still holding on to hope that Buzz survived, but I fear it's becoming more and more unlikely.)

Twinkle.

We're all made up of stars.

(I wrote that before I knew out about the song.  This came from watching The History Channel.)

I'm sure he's fine.

I'm sure that Buzz isn't really gone, that he really didn't have what appears to be a nuclear bomb inside of him, and that even now he's cruising through the wreckage that was Magnum.  Now here's the real question: is Magnum really finished, or we about to have a fight between two giant robots who can only crawl along the ground, creating large gashes in the pavement as they haul themselves towards each other, broken wheels wobbling in the air?  We'll just have to wait and see, I guess.  I must say that I do like the use of the word KA-THOOM!  It has a little more oomph than a regular BOOM! and more sophistication than a KA-BOOM! (even if I'm not exactly sure what would make a THOOM sound).  Hopefully Buzz's fate will be revealed tomorrow, and we won't just be given a view of Tracy and Mr. Ice running for their lives amid a shower of shrapnel and flaming debris.  (I sure hope that the bush they're hiding behind can hold up against all that.)

Revelations.

Shelly has seen the error of her ways (though she isn't quite ready to see the error of lying to Mark about her true identity, but I don't think that one's ever going to happen), and so the Avians have called off the hit, retreating back to their stronghold to continue plotting Mark's demise.  I guess there might be some sense in their organization after all (unless they're just leaving to intercept Shelly on the way back to her office.  After all, Mark would never suspect that they were behind an unfortunate automobile accident, would he?  No, of course not).  Shelly may well intend to try to persuade her stockholders to cancel the project, but she has no idea that Peter has set his own plan in motion, a plan that involves getting rid of Mark (but will it also involve steel and mortar and bricks and pie?).  These developments all leave us with a multitude of questions.  Will Shelly convince the stockholders?  Will she find out about Peter's plot in time?  Will she become Peter's pawn?  Will Mark just leave town on his own?  Is Rabbit really through fighting dogs and raccoons?  Will an actual rabbit ever appear in this story?  Will this story line ever end?  Who knows.  Who knows.

It was a difficult time for all.

But it proved especially difficult for the Nazgul.  The troubles began when they lost track of the Hobbit with the One Ring.  They continued when someone at the laundromat spilled bleach on their robes and turned them white.  Finally, adding insult to injury, to save money they were forced to wash their clothes with the elves, who accidentally put a red cloak in with their now white robes, turning them a lovely shade of pink, making it all the harder to strike fear into the hearts of men.  This left the Ringwraiths with but one option: they had to find the tattered, old robes they had thrown into the back of their closets and hope that there weren't too many tears and that the stitching would hold until the new robes arrived, because even though they were not in the greatest shape, they were at least black (or a still imposing, very dark gray).

No, Buzz!

It would appear that the backup has finally arrived (which only further supports my idea that the police station is across the parking lot from Genesis).  Unfortunately, said backup may have only accidentally stumbled on to the scene during a smoke break, or was forced to go after losing a deciding game of Rock Paper Scissors, and doesn't seem to be too keen on staying.  Mr. Ice there seems to be leaning towards a tactic of retreat and hiding (and is following through since I assume that both he and Tracy are now behind that indestructible bush).  Dick looks like he's about to make sure that his backup has a little accident before this is all over so that he doesn't have to listen to him anymore.  (Give the guy a break, Dick.  He has a hand growing out of his chest and still managed to come in to work today.  Could this be the next mutation of the T-Rex illness?)  Meanwhile, the only one actually doing something is a robot that doesn't even have a badge.  Unfortunately, poor Buzz appears to have hit a tiny ramp of some kind and may be about to flip over, burst into flames, and probably explode.  (I need to cut back on the action movies and episodes of Magnum, P.I. and The A-Team.  I really do.)

Problem solved and the universe is saved.

The whole issue of young Anakin Skywalker's cloudy future wasn't as big a problem as the Jedi want you believe.  I think they're just embarrassed that they let everything fall to pieces when really all they had to do to avoid destruction was sponsor Anakin in the Professional Pod Racing Circuit.  That way, he wouldn't have been a slave, he would have been out seeing the stars like he wanted to, he would have been making plenty of money for himself and the Jedi, and he would have been able to buy his mom.  He wouldn't have had to get all whiny and annoying about not being the best Jedi in the Universe.   He could have been whiny and annoying about not being the best pod racer in the universe instead.  Plus, that whole forbidden love thing wouldn't have even been an issue and we wouldn't have needed to see Padme's totally awesome '80s hair in Revenge Of The Sith.

Raise a glass to the sidekicks.

I shudder to think what this comic would be like if there were no feisty, tiny robot sidekicks that lived inside of giant robots.  (Granted, this is the first tiny robot sidekick that I am aware of, but still, where would the comic be without it?)  I knew that TRAZE-R wasn't done yet.  He even seems to be trying to pick himself up and continue the fight, but with the sad state of his wheels, all he can do is stand up, maintain just enough balance to let the little guy out before toppling over again.  (The little guy sort of reminds me of a tank from "Combat" for the Atari 2600.  All we need now is for TRAZE-R's flat top to flip up and a tiny plane to fly out of a previously unknown hanger.)  As you can see, Buzz Bomb (or Buzz, as I shall call him from now on) is the pinnacle of technology.  He's got a video camera and a gun, so not only does he mean business, but he also wants to record it for posterity (and to possibly go over the film later in order to figure out ways to improve his performance).  I am a little worried that the little guy won't survive his encounter with Magnum, and not because I'm afraid that Magnum will run him over.  No, it's all about the name Buzz Bomb.  Anything I've ever encountered that had the word bomb in it tended to end up exploding, and though I've only known the little guy for a single comic, I know that if he does live up to his name, I'm going to miss him terribly.  (I'm also going to laugh hysterically if it turns out that he's full of bees.) 

Teaming up for nefarious deeds.

Just when you thought that the raccoon/dog fighting story was wrapping itself up, it continues on and joins with the main disappearing wetland story line.  With Peter's knowledge of the corporate world, and Rabbit's knowledge of the wetland, who knows what diabolical plot they'll concoct.  (I mean, I know that it's all about revenge, but the how has yet to be revealed.)  Now it's all beginning to make sense why Cherry was inexplicably placed in that office.  She isn't there for the purpose of keeping an eye on Shelly.  She's really there to keep an eye on Peter, who is being driven mad by jealousy.  (He also seems to be aging at an alarming rate.  That's what a life of evil doing will do, folks.  It'll either keep you forever young or turn you into a decrepit old fossil.)

Now, if I cared about him at all, I would tell Peter to watch out and reconsider this alliance.  There are far too many things in this invisible garage that could signal his end.  Why, Rabbit could grab one of those wrenches from the wall, knock him over the head, tie him up with that wire/tubing/rope hanging on the wall, put the tire over him to keep him in place, and then place that on the hook and raise him up into the air, or make it look like he's still standing so that when Mark stumbles upon this place, he'll think that Peter is waiting for him when really it's Rabbit, laying in wait to have his revenge on our intrepid conservationist woodsman.  We can only hope that the Jack Elrod ball, which only came in for a check up after that unfortunate incident with the chain, can get back to Mark (and learn to somehow communicate with him) before these two are able to put their plan into action.

Ah, memories.

I remember when the apostrophe was also known as the flying comma.

When you take "Magnum, P.I." off the air

I end up watching movies like "Sudden Death."

Shoot on through to the other side.

It would seem that not content to show up on the weekends in beautiful technicolor, Rick Tracy has decided that Dick could use some help and has come on to the scene with guns blazing.  Meanwhile, Dick has decided to dive for cover, leaving it up to Rick to take over the fight.  This is quite an interesting development, but couldn't their meeting tear a hole in the spacetime continuum, dooming us all to cease to exist, or are there different rules for when you meet your counterpart from another dimension?  (Ah well, I'm sure it will become clearer in time.  Perhaps the two versions will simply meld seamlessly into a new hybrid life form.)  The more pressing business is whether Rick will be able to hit the little slot that represents Magnum's mouth, and end this robot rampage.  (Speaking of Magnum, is anyone else reminded of those fair games where you have to shoot water into the clown's mouth, or is it just me?)
Wait, wait, wait.  You're just now calling for backup?  Shouldn't you have done that before you ran inside of the building to start the fight?  Isn't that part of the procedure?  (Perhaps they do things differently in the brightly colored Sunday Dimension.)  Ah yes, Rick, I'm sure that in your dimension tanks are plentiful and each police station has several parked outside for just such an occasion, but this isn't your dimension and you've got to work with what you can get your hands on.  The thing that I actually find most troubling about this strip is the fact that the Chief seems reluctant to send people to help out.  (Could it be that she's been looking for an excuse to get rid of Tracy, or does she somehow know that Dick isn't the one speaking to her?)  I do feel sorry for TRAZE-R though, who appears to have been given the "He's dead off screen" treatment.  Poor guy.  Maybe he'll come back and save the day.  (Maybe not.)

Meanwhile, in the safety of the bush outside of the building, Dick continues to endure Magnum's assault (which means that somehow the fight has moved outside.  I'm not sure when or how, but little differences in details like that are expected in fast moving situations like these, if this were a fast moving situation, that is.).  You know, you'd figure that if Magnum was able to shoot out TRAZE-R's tiny eyes from a distance, he wouldn't have any trouble taking care of a man hiding behind a bush.  (You'd think so, but it's harder than it looks.  Please refer to the case of Legolas Greenleaf, who could easily shoot a goblin in the eye deep within the dimly lit Mines of Moria, but couldn't shoot one orc carrying a torch before it blew up a very important wall.)  We can only hope that it's a laser proof bush, or else Rick may have to stay in this dimension permanently, or jump back and forth between dimensions to keep both worlds going.

(And what is with this repeated use of "Yi!"?  Have characters nothing better to do than say letters of the Cyrillic alphabet while they're being chased or shot at?)

In ten days it will be okay to listen.

The radio stations have been playing it for a couple of weeks now, but I have made it a point not to intentionally listen to any Christmas music until after Thanksgiving.  Unfortunately, many stores have switched over their catalogs to it, so it can't be avoided entirely.  My reason for not listening is that I don't want to be burned out on it by the time it actually feels right to listen to the sounds of the season, especially since it seems like they start playing it earlier and earlier every year.  Funny, I had no idea that the sounds of Thanksgiving, and it seems at times Halloween, were also those of Christmas.  Someday I wouldn't be surprised to start hearing it on the first day of September, though I hope it never comes to that.

That being said, I have bought a few Christmas albums, but they are going to have to sit unused until after Thanksgiving.  I would have waited to buy them until it felt right to buy Christmas music, but past experience has taught me that by the time I'm ready for it, it will have disappeared from the store or no longer be on sale.  I guess this way I have something to look forward to as well as something that I know will be there when I want it.  

Of course, I'm also the person who doesn't start Christmas shopping until December, so think what you will.

Music for a Friday night.

Every Friday night, all I need to hear is one theme song and I've got entertainment for the rest of the evening and beyond.  That song belongs to the "Big Ten Friday Night Tailgate" show, and while I admit that I've never actually watched a whole show (which doesn't sound so bad when you realize that I only found the show a few weeks ago), I have always made sure to hear the theme song.  The beauty of the "Big Ten Friday Night Tailgate" theme song is that it's so easy to play with.  All you have to do is rhyme "Big Ten Friday Night Tailgate" with whatever phrase you can come up with.  For example:

Cars drive on the interstate.

Big Ten Friday Night Tailgate.

Look, there's chicken on a plate.

Big Ten Friday Night Tailgate.

Cake and ice cream sure taste great.

Big Ten Friday Night Tailgate.

If you're not early then you're late.

Big Ten Friday Night Tailgate.

And so on and so forth.  Yes, it may be stupid.  Yes, some of you may be shaking your heads at it, but it's just really fun to do, and that alone makes it worth the watch.  Plus, once you start, it's really hard to stop, and it's always a good thing when you can turn a bad day around by making yourself laugh.

Thank you, Captain Obvious.

(For one day only, Dick Tracy has graciously agreed to describe the action as it happens for the visually impaired.)  Things are not looking good for TRAZE-R the crime-fighting robot (and one could also say they aren't looking good for Diet Smith, the little man who lives inside of the crime-fighting robot).  I think that things took a turn for the worse not when TRAZE-R became blinded, but when his wheels got bent out of shape and he was forced to keep using them (and now they'll never be true again).  This seriously affected his mobility and ability to dodge, making hitting him in the eyes with a laser beam all the easier.  Now that he appears to be on the way towards a fall, things just keep turning more and more in Magnum's favor.
Wait a minute.  Braces, why are you still here?  Have you never heard of backup?  I don't think that the police would just let one of their own (well, two of their own if you count TRAZE-R, but I don't recall him ever being given a badge) handle something like this on his own, and if they weren't on their way already, surely the shock wave produced by a giant robot toppling over would bring them running to Genesis.  (At least, I hope that it would.)  My dear Evil Lady, I think that you need to take Braces by the arm and lead him out to the Evil Automobile where the Mysterious Eye-Patched One is waiting.  You've got what you wanted from the safe.  There's no reason to hang around and be caught.  Time to head back to the potting shed.
But wait, there's more!  Just when you thought everything was running normally, we once again take a short detour into the strange world of Rick Tracy.  Unlike Dick, Rick seems to not be content to just sit on the sidelines, watching the two robots duke it out and instead takes the partnership seriously, stepping up and taking shots at Mungam, the evil robot who's beating the stuffing out of E-EZART.  (He even appears to be using two kinds of bullets in his gun.  One that serves as a warning and the other that means business.)  How long will this detour last?  Will it have any effect whatsoever on the story we've been reading?  Your guess is as good as mine.

Mind the ball.

After disposing of the nefarious ne'erdowell, Rabbt, Mark frees Sneaky from the log.  Unfortunately, he didn't seem to notice that the Jack Elrod ball was already working on freeing the little guy, so when Marked yanked the chain away, he hit the ball, causing it to go a little crazy.  (Luckily it was only a temporary thing and all was forgiven.)  Now all Mark has to do is get Sneaky back to Pamela.  With this plot line now being neatly wrapped up (Well, sort of.  One could argue that he should take Rabbit to the proper authorities so that he doesn't just go out and catch another poor raccoon.), Mark can get back to saving the wetland (or swamp or whatever it's being called) and the web of lies Shelly has woven around herself.  (I still think he should call the authorities about Rabbit,  though.)

I'll show you my credentials.

With one right cross from Mark, the fight appears to be over, though the waves created by the two fighters seem to have pushed Sneaky away, and we can only hope that the river running through the swamp is carrying him to safety and not more danger (because it seems in times like these, when people get carried away by rivers, they often run into rapids or waterfalls).  Luckily, the Jack Elrod ball has bounced onto the scene and is now working to cut (or melt) the chain holding Sneaky to the log so that he can once again be free to wander around the swamp (which, as previously stated, is what raccoons do).  Silly Rabbit, he should have known better than to mess with Mark, and he's going to be even more unhappy when those waders stop keeping him dry the moment he goes underwater.

You've always got a friend.

Even when you're typing alone.

And so it comes to this.

It sure didn't take Mark long to find the dog/raccoon fights, did it?  I guess when he really puts his mind to something it doesn't require a long, drawn-out walk in the woods.  Poor Sneaky.  He's about to be attacked by those generic hound dogs.  (There's nothing generic about Sneaky.  No sir!  He's got a collar.)  What I'd like to know is why Andy didn't come along.  Maybe Mark didn't want to risk turning a dog/raccoon fight into a dog fight.  (I guess that makes sense, and maybe Andy is still on leave after his mission involving the puppy nappers because well, I just don't know the proper procedures for these sorts of things.)  
Before the fighting can begin, Mark finally steps in to intervene, telling Rabbit to stop because that raccoon he's planning to kill for sport is somebody's pet.  (Mark, was it really necessary to say that it was somebody's pet?  Wouldn't you have stopped this if it were a wild raccoon?  If not, I think the wilderness magazine people really need to know about that.)  If I were Sneaky, and I wasn't already chained to the log, I'd bite Rabbit and get away, but I guess he's taking the alternate approach of waiting patiently for Mark to get him out of this predicament.  I just hope that Mark called for backup from the DNR or local law enforcement because if Rabbit asks to see his credentials, I don't know that Wilderness Expert will strike that much fear into him.

The holidays can only mean one thing.

"The Twilight Zone" marathon is coming.

(Oh yeah, and family togetherness and all that stuff.  I guess.)

It's time for some real firepower.

After nearly toppling over (or dealing with a momentary loss of gravity in that corner of the building), Magnum is back with a vengeance, moving from punches to lasers, and managing to blind TRAZE-R with a single well-placed shot.  One can only wonder how Diet is coping with the sudden darkness.  (I sincerely hope that he isn't claustrophobic)  The more pressing matter though, is the fact that the laser beam had to be labeled.  (Even TRAZE-R seems to be embarrassed about this fact and he's supposed to be Magnum's enemy.)  

And now, without any further or due, I bring you the list of things the laser beam could have been:

1. A very long straw (because fighting can make you work up quite a thirst).

2. A poison dart shooter (because if you take care of Tracy, there's a good chance that TRAZE-R won't know what to do).

3. Acid spit.

4. An arrow.

5. Some sort of root from the alien plant that's actually controlling Magnum.

6. The line marking the edge of a wall or floor that was accidentally drawn too long and then inked in.  (Good thing there was all that empty space underneath it, huh?) 

7. The hose connected to the off-panel oil tank that's being used to refill Magnum.

8. A spiked robot tongue.

9. An evacuation slide belonging to the tiny people who live inside Magnum.

10.  An extension cord (because when this fight started, Magnum was only at 50% and all this moving around and taunting has really drained the battery).

Art imitating art.

What could Mola Ram from "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom" and a giant crime fighting robot possibly have in common?  The answer, my friends, is in panel two, where TRAZE-R is clearly trying to pull out Magnum's heart (or CPU or whatever amounts to a heart in a giant robot).  You can be sure that had he accomplished the task, he would have held it up in the air where it would have burst into flames.  But wait, isn't TRAZE-R supposed to be on the side of truth and justice and all that that entails?  I suppose it's all a matter of perception.  Both sides believe they are doing what is right and therefore see the other as doing what is wrong.  It's only society that pushes them into the good and evil categories.  (Okay, I've just been reminded that this is a daily comic strip about a fight between two giant robots.  Right.  Stepping off of the Tangent Train now.)  Luckily, TRAZE-R's brush with evil was thwarted since old Magnum seems to be made of adamantium or some other really hard substance that can't be torn into so easily (that, or TRAZE-R punches like a girl).  What I really want to know is what Magnum is saying while he's all bent over like that.  (I'm guessing that it's some sort of robot swearing, but I could be wrong.  He could just be reprogramming himself or initiating repairs, but I still think he's swearing.)